Son or daughter joining army

[GabbyLoggon]

listened toan interesting programme about parents attitude to sons or daughters joining the army. Most seem to be joining because theycould not get a civilian job. How would you react if your child wanted to join thearmy as a last resort? I think I would cringe a little, but it would be theteenagers right to choose, I suppose

I would be horrified and scared. Two of my sister's children have applied and been rejected. Both because they couldn't get jobs in civvy street. I don't think that either had considered they would be expected to fight and TBH, neither had my DS or DBIL. Me and my DH were shocked. Luckily one of her kids has gone on to FE and the other has a job now.

I'd disown him. Killing for private interests, closely aligned with the very narrow ones of the British state, would mean he exited my life.

No such thing as family, only society and individuals.

OK, I am old. I was an Army wife for 25 years. I would be proud if either of my (grown up) children followed their father's profession. Neither of them will though. It has been their choice.

I'd be worried sick

My nephew has just joined the army. He sees it in terms of a steady salary, I don't think he's really thought about fighting or having to kill other people. My SIL and her dh are not exactly proud but not discouraging either. I think they're not sure what to make of it.

Both my parents were in the army and my yonger sibling is thinking about joining up - not because they can't get a job in civvy street but because of the lifestyle, the money, the chance to travel and also because they're interested in the different jobs they offer.

I work for a military family and a high proportion of my friends are military wives/soldiers so I wouldn't have a problem what so ever.

I would hate it and would actively try to discourage them from doing so. Our country is involved in too many things I disagree with and I would not want my children involved.

I would not be proud of them and while I would support them on an individual level I would not support what they would be doing and would be prepared to tell them why.

I would be so worried and would try to dissuade them for the purely selfish reason that I don't want my babies in any unnecessary danger.

If they went ahead though, I would do the best I could to support them in their choice and would just hope they stayed in one piece.

I have two DSs and we have some soldiers in our family so it is a possibility but one I hope never comes up.

Thanks that is a very interesting set of answers. Not going the way I thought it would. But I tend to agree with the parents who would be "worried sick" if their child wanted to join the army.

I certainly dont think it is right for youngsters to join just because they cant get a job. The forces is a unique kind of career with its own set of dangers.

The Forces are a unique career with a unique set of opportunities. You concentrate on just the Army, but there are two other services who can and do provide satisfying and fascinating careers and educational opportunities, and all without killing anyone.

Dh has been in the RN for 31 years - has done all sorts of jobs from weapon engineering on a submarine to teaching at MA level, to getting his MA, to being a very senior engineer, to now working in the international/diplomatic arena. He has never been bored, earns a good salary, has learnt to sail to a high standard, sailed and canoed for the RN, done Cowes week and has also become a glider pilot and instructor. We have had a great social life and made many friends. He also had his initial degree paid for.

Db joined post A levels, got his MSc last year, and has also served abroad and done a variety of jobs which will allow him to forge a successful career when he leaves/retires.

My ds does not want to join, but I would love him to and would support him wholeheartedly if he did. I am a military daughter, wife and sister, so I see all the advantages as well as the disadvantages and have experience of the careers on offer, rather than just the hackneyed 'it's killing' response that one sees on here.

Scaryteacher. Interesting, yes it does semm that military families are in a different position. Especially if sons are expected to join.

An interesting famous geezer in that position was pop singer James Blunt/Blount.
He was a captain, came out of the army, wrote "Back to Bedlam" sold 2 million

He sings some very good war songs. "Carry You Home " is poetic. I would have it at my funeral

Not sure how right he is, but a colleague of mine is encouraging his son to join and train to be a doctor through the forces (he is a very clever boy). He says he then has to be in service for 4 years when he can then leave and practice as normal, but have no student loans etc to pay off.

Have no idea how right they are on this as I know nothing about the forces.

My ds is not expected to join at all; however, if he were interested in engineering then that is where I would encourage him to do it, as they get to use kit that no-one else does.

Frogety, I think the return of service may be longer than that.

I'd be worried, but proud. I hope DS does something nice and safe with his life.

All recruits are made well aware of the expectation that they will deploy on operations and, if need be, to kill (although few will actually be required to do so).

I would be proud as punch if a child of mine wanted to join up but will leave it to them to make up their own mind - only actively supporting them once they had made a firm decision...just as for any other job.

I agree with weegie's post, all of it.

my son threatened to join the army.

i had to remind him that people shoot at you

he forgot that bit ( shit you not)

oh yes him doing the shooting

him doing the rugged boys stuff, tanks etc...but forgot that the baddies shoot back.

i suggested that he join the RAF if he wanted to join anything, as they don't get shot at so much and my dad was in the RAF

no, i would rather my child be alive and unemployed that join the army. my childrn will not be cannon fodder on politions and their political ambition.

One of my sons is in the Army. He met his wife while she was a serving soldier. I am proud of both my son and daughter-in-law.
My son attended one of the UK's top grammar schools and had many opportunities, but he chose the Army.
Most parents would support their childs' choice of career- because that is what parents do.
He has had tours of Iraq and Afghanistan as has his wife, and know the dangers.

Frogerty, there is a girl in the village who is joining up and doing a nursing course, she says that it is 3 years training and then 4 years service but that is for nursing which is a shorter course.

those who have said they wouldbe proud if their ds or dd joined the army, or those who are proud because their dc has taken this decision and is in the army, could you tell me what it is that makes you feel pride about their decision?

I don't mean to be offensive at all, it is a genuine question.

Ds joined up at 16, but unfortunately medically discharged with bad asthma on his basic training, he was devastated it was all he had wanted to do.

He is now an Electrician.

DH was in the Army did his 22 years (actually 24, as went in at 16, to boys service) and left last September.

He rejoined the guard Service last month and hopes to do till he is 55.

DB is a Wing Commander in the RAF, and has come up through the ranks.

DF and DM were both RAF.

We came from a Military Family, and joining the Military was what most of the family wanted to do, for us it is a proud and honourable job.

DB's who didnt join, joined the Police.

Other DB, went totally the other way and is a Research Scientist, but talking to him, he says that growing up a forces child gave him the discipline and work ethic to do what he does.

The way the Forces are talked about, is very different than the life.

ZZZenAgain - I would feel pride because a career in the Armed Forces carries inherent risk to oneself and I admire anyone that puts that risk to one side and is nevertheless willing to 'serve'.