Son or daughter joining army

[GabbyLoggon]

listened toan interesting programme about parents attitude to sons or daughters joining the army. Most seem to be joining because theycould not get a civilian job. How would you react if your child wanted to join thearmy as a last resort? I think I would cringe a little, but it would be theteenagers right to choose, I suppose

i'd not let them join up - especially not now. too many kids being killed.

at least let them grow up before sending them to the front lines of this shitty war

DD is planning to join the RAF when she is 18 (she is 14 now).

She is an avid member of air cadets, which I encouraged her to join a year ago after a spate of nasty bullying at school, in order to build up her confidence. It has really made her a lot happier, for which I am very rateful, however I did not consider that it was a junior recruiting section of the AF and that she would end up wanting a forces life.

I don't know anyone in the forces, the thought of my daughter joining up at such a young age appalled me. But what can I do? Ban her from going?

The consolation is that she is a girl, so will not be on the front line, and is joining the RAF (not the army) which, rightly or wrongly, I think she will be 'safer' in, and not cannon fodder. It is something she really wants to do, and although it is the exact opposite of the kind of thing I would choose to do, the only thing I can do is be as supportive as I can.

She has got a lot out of it, she is currently away on camp where she is flying gliders all week, and I just hope that joining up will work for her. I tried to encourage her to go to university and join up afterwards, however she said that she wanted to join as an officer, so why go to uni and rack up debts of £20K or so, then join the RAF as an officer, when she could do the same thing at 18? My protests are falling on deaf ears.

In response to the OP - I think it is one thing for a child to join the forces when it is their ambition to do so, another thing (and completely unacceptable) when they join up because there is nothing else for them to do.

so the pride comes from your dc having the courage to risk their life in the course of their working career. Or is it more a patriotic issue for you , the willingness to die if necessary for the good of your country?

Shoshe, would you be as proud of your dc if instead of becoming a soldier they chose to be a doctor or social worker, a teacher and serve the community that way? Would you find being a soldier more honourable than being say a doctor, or if risking your life is an important factor of it - a fireman or policeman?

I don't really know what I think about the armed forces generally or as a career option. Have never really thought about it tbh before now

frogerty DH is a Dr in the RAF, he joined in med school. You have to fund the first 2 years yourself and then the RAF/Army/Navy will step in financially. You are required to do 6 years return of practice after you have completed your (what was) house officer jobs. It's at that point you go to Cranwell for your (shorter) officer basic training and it's 6 years form then.

I would do everything in my power to dissuade them..no way do I want my ds to be trained to kill or be killed ..

thing is that we do need armed forces, don't we? If the country were attacked, most people would probably be willing to take up arms and defend themselves/their family but you need experienced professionals to direct operations in a time of emergency so I don't see how you get around having a professional army really. Unless you are determinedly neutral and believe everyone else will respect that neutrality always.

I can't see it for my own dd atm but who knows?

shoshe. That is true, we get a public IMAGE of things which dont match reality.

We must keep searching for a bit of truth

I'd be proud of ds, as I was of my Dad, and dh and db because I know what service life is like; that it has great rewards but also can be difficult and dangerous, and that they are willing to stand up and be counted. For those I know there is a large element of 'for Queen and Country'.

There is more to service life than the Army - who do you think keeps choke points on the sea lanes open? Who interdicts drug smuggling and some piracy on the high seas? Who delivers the Marines and others to jumping off points? Who sorts logistics and provides medics in Afghanistan? The Royal Navy does all these things and more.

Getorf - has she asked about the RAF funding her degree at all? They may still do this; dh (last century) was put through his engineering degree by the RN.

southeastastra - you'd "not let them join up" how exactly?

Ds1 is 10 and is Army barmy. Tbh I would be immensly proud should he wish to join any of the Armed Forces. I joined the Army as a Miltary Clerk at the age of 17, unfortunately I was medically discharged after 18mths, but it was the most amazing job I ever had.
Just to even get through the basic training is bloody hard, so again I reiterate that i would be proud.

Both my side family and Dps side have strong miltary backgrounds
I was in Army
My Dad was in RAF
One uncle in Army and other in RAF also.

Dp's father was also Army (with a long period in Special forces, which makes DS1 all the more enchanted with the whole idea).

although I would be proud, it wouldnt take away my immense fear that something terrible could happen to him, especially nowadays.
When I joined there was no real threat on the scale that we have now and I dont recall any of the male recruits having it so blatant that they could be sent into the frontline somewhere and killed or maimed.

Im sure that current basic training must touch upon this more.

My DH is a doctor who did his training through the army and who has served in Afganistan and Iraq with a variety of roles and remits. He is a qualified GP so essentially now works out of med centres in the UK / in med centres out on Op Herrick.

In terms of the funding of medical training, DH had 6 years return of service after his pre-registrar year. He thinks it is still 6 years of return of service although now of course the pre-reg year is split in two (F1 & F2). He has found his army experience rewarding and has had the chance to help far more people in more needy circumstances than most UK-based doctors will ever do. He has saved the lives of Afgan civilians who walked for 3 days to get to his clinic. So I will reiterate what others have said - a military career is NOT necessarily about killing (and to be honest those that view a military career as simply killing make my blood boil, particularly since DH does pretty much the opposite of that).

So how would I feel if either of my DDs entered the army / other forces? Well, pretty worried during deployments, even if they weren't directly in the way of danger. But I have another reason for hoping to dissuade them of this option if they consider it - a military career can often play havoc with a family's home life, taking a spouse and/or parent away for precious months and years of a relationship and/or a child's early life. This is a really challenging thing through which to put one's family - not least because even if the serving parent has a period of time on 'home soil', they are likely to get moved around to different houses / schools / friends / lives on a yearly basis (and forces housing, if you are a soldier not an officer, can be utterly dire).

In the end, my children will be free to choose their own paths through life, but in all honesty I'd sleep more soundly if those paths weren't military ones. However I think DH would be rather happy if they did go into the military - he believes (and I agree) that on several levels the army does a great deal of good.

If they approached the Armed Forces with a "last resort" attitude, I'd be surprised if they got in at the moment. Manning levels are very high, some trades are full and recruitment is suspended, and application levels are high as well; just as cuts are expected shortly.

I'd be immensely proud if either if my DC wanted to join up and were good enough to be accepted.

I'd be worried when they were away on ops, though. But there are other dangerous jobs, and I would find it wrong tointerfere with their life choices once they are of age.

Getorfmoiland

Does your daughter know that uni students who join the cadet force local to uni will be funded through that time, and that a degree is a very useful tool for an officer to have. It was my understanding that the only officers that might not have a degree are those promoted through the ranks, and many of them do. I thought the raw recruits to officer training HAD to have a degree, a related one for the EngO's.

My DH is just coming upto his 15 yr point in the RAF.

I am sure your last line is true, Shoshe

Scary and Meow - We did look at the RAF funding her degree, however there are stipulations (fair enough) that the degree has to be physics/maths/engineering based, and DD's interests, and the degrees that she would prefer to do, would be humanities (either History or Geography). I don't think it is a good idea into pushing her to styudying something that she was not 100% committed to just to get funding.

Gawd only knows abput the funding for universities local to her air cadet squadron, I will lool into that, however thje unu local to here (University of Gloucestershire) is one of the worst in teh country, so degree from there is probably not worth the paper it is written on, tbh.

DD has just come back from the Air Cadet summer camp, they had a meeting there about choices in the RAF. The talk was given by two officers, one of which had a degree, and one who entered at 18. Apparently it makes no difference, you get considered for promotion just the same whether you have a degree or not. However it will be difficult going in at 18 - you will be up against mostly 21 year olds who have degrees, so is intimidating.

DD still wants to go in at 18 though, even more determined now.

My db joined the RN as a junior officer at 18/19 post A level, and has never got his BA. He did however get his MSc via the RN last year and is hoping to pick up Cdr very soon. He's 42.

My DD would join the armed forces over my cold dead body.

Hi all, as the manager of a busy Army recruiting office i have day to day interaction with Mums and Dads who have mixed views on their children applying for the Army. I have read and totally understood all the views and concerns listed above. Please keep them coming as its a useful tool to help us understand how you feel about your children joining the Army.

i am an army wife and i would not actively encourage my children to join up but if that was what they wanted i would encourage them to enlist in a job that was a trade, eg engineers or other specialists, so they could come out with useful qualifications. i would not be happy if they joined the infantry and neither would DH who is infantry himself, more so because of the higher risk and lack of useable qualifications on leaving.

DH would like them to join up i think but i am more protective and would rather encourage them to follow a different career choice first. I think some of it is due to the fact that we have seen the bad in the army aswell as the advantages

Crosby - I don't think women should go to war.

Noel Except on their husbands and partners?

Why shouldn't they fight? We send them to sea in combat situations (apart from HM Submarines), and some fly fast jets in combat. Why not?

If women didn't go to war, there would be less medics, a far smaller supply chain, less engineers to keep everything in theatre functioning. If women want to go and are trained and capable, why not?

I would be concerned but supportive, as my parents were with me (7 years as RAF officer.)

It isn't for everyone.

I can appreciate that those who have a problem with how the Armed Forces are deployed may not wish their children to join, but feel sad that some posters would disown their child for that choice.

There were some very interesting stats I saw recently from some deprived areas of the UK, showing that young men aged 18-30 years who are NEET (Not in education, employment or training) have a RIDICULOUSLY high chance of being dead (via suicide or accident - car/overdose etc) or in prison by the time they reach 30. That is why some of them take the choice to join the infantry and run the risks they do. A difficult choice for a parent - do you want them to stay at home and be sucked into a completely toxic lifetsyle, or support them to join up and run the risk of death/injury.

Now in public policy terms we can argue that we actually need to do is to intervene in their lives earlier to ensure they are better equipped to get a job, however as a parent dealing with the here and now - what do you do?

Can understand the desire to want to be in the military, and if that's the case, then great.

My concern would be if kids only joined up as they couldn't afford higher education and the military would provide financial assistance. In that situation, the forces would end up with people who weren't really prepared to fight, and joined for the wrong reasons.

I disagree with recruiting in high schools as is the situation in the USA and tends to target poor people.

However if one wants a career in the military, think it's a very honorable thing to do.