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Housekeeping

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This New Year, The Fledglings are Flying a new approach

824 replies

HillsBesideTheSea · 31/12/2021 16:54

Hello and welcome to new and old.

If you are new around here. Hi, introduce yourself around the fire pit in the naughty corner where we are all sitting comfortably. The naughty corner is decked out with comfy, and snacks, and a place just to have a chat when things haven't gone to plan. We are a very long running thread but do love new blood stopping by to join us.

Welcome to those who are returning.

We had a chat on the previous thread about possibly trying a new twist on the fly lady system. We all know that the fly lady system is good for establishing routines when we follow it. But we also know that sometimes we need a quick hit of a big declutter. And that life has a habit of throwing curve balls making it very difficult to stay on track.

So this is the plan. Each evening I will post the babystep, a thought point and the flylady daily focuses. We are not giving up on the fly lady system but just bringing it into line with the individuality of our lives, and trying to resolve some of the issues that comes from being the family brain, trying to do all the things and generally having modern busy lives. The thought point is to try to get you to think differently. And may require a click on a link (video), a discussion on the thread, or just you considering things. I do not promise it will make you feel better, or magically change your house straight away. But hopefully it will help with the overall flow and approach. And may just tweak the twee out of the fly lady system to the point where it is now your system.

But before you entirely regret your choices in letting my try this craziness we are going to start with some key basics that I really do think has been incorporated well into the Flylady system.

  1. the mess, disorder and chaos did not happen over night. Give yourself the grace and time to fix it. (also known as roman weren't built in a day so don't kill yourself trying to get your house immaculate in a day)
  1. Goals vs system.
We will go into this a little more shortly but to start, the fly lady system has an end goal - a house which is tidy and clean that comes second nature. It achieves it by building habits and routines that make the steps needed to achieve that goal second nature. There is a lot of research that says goals don't work, systems do. And systems are built on the formation of habits.
  1. You are never behind.
You might not be making the progress you would like, you may have taken a break. But you are not behind. So again, give yourself a break and drop the guilt. There is probably a reason why you have taken a break - illness, other demands on time, mental health etc etc. And yes some days it is an effort to make sure that everyone is fed and ok. But that is ok, so give yourself grace that on that day that was exactly what was needed and thus you succeeded in the essential goal of the day. guilt is just going to make things harder than it needs to be. It is ok not to feel guilty if you did not do all the things.

I will be back later with links for tomo. I am posting them in the evening the night before because some of us are morning people, and some of us are night people. And this way everyone will be able to see prior to when they need to consider it.

Come park your broom in the new thread for a little while and have a natter whilst we wait to bring in the New year.

OP posts:
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swallowedAfly · 17/01/2022 09:16

Impressive Zireal - I feel tired just reading all that.

Furballs are on windowsills here Zoo - joy.

Morning all. Managed to finish marking set of books when I work up in the middle of the night. Schedule will still hold if I stay after school today and mark a set of assessments being done today then mark another set on my day off tomorrow and repeat Wednesday, Thursday.

We're in the bedroom now but I need to keep going with lounge so I think I'll aim at 15 mins decluttering bedroom each day I can manage it and chipping away at the living room. Before work today I would like to go through the shoe rack getting rid of shoes that are outgrown/knackered and taking wrong season or rarely wear shoes up to the cupboard upstairs where they should be before reinistating it in the entryway. Same for coats on the hooks there.

After school it would be good to clean round the doors/doorframes there - ie. front door inside and the door between entryway and lounge. These are mucky from tossed off shoes and animals coming in and out.

Tadas: (trying to count everything to cheer myself up)
-nagged ds out of bed into shower and dressed and out the door in time,
-took dog out,
-made ds packed lunch.

I need to have a shower and wash and dry hair which is feeling like a mission at this point. Going to have half an hour with my coffee and check emails - very easy for that to stretch longer actually as I'll check work emails and end up having a few jobs to do like setting remote learning.

SingToTheSky · 17/01/2022 11:20

Morning lovely people. DD1 off school again - as I discovered when I literally tripped over her sleeping on the living room floor. Thankfully the laptop I was holding seems to be fine, my leg not so much.

Turns out as well as being exhausted the other reason she doesn’t want to be in is that people keep hitting her broken arm on purpose. FFS.

Slow start but I managed my routines. Atomic Habits chapters really interesting today - about making habits as easy as possible, things like actually making the first two minutes the habit NOT the whole thing. So just aim to dust one shelf, hang a couple of t-shirts etc. It is easier to do a small habit like that because it’s not daunting and it’s easier to then keep going if you want to. (The author is much more eloquent than I!)

Anyway. Have got some stuff done so far. Need to think about what’s next.

po3.1
❗️Look through diary and cross check with list of work things etc
❗️Start writing maths questions for DD1 to do each day
❗️Towel LOL

SingToTheSky · 17/01/2022 13:34

Argh. Feeling the sting of procrastination here trying to sort the diary out wish I’d booked an exhibition earlier FFS

Mind has gone blank as well, so now I’m not sure what to do with the afternoon. This post is taking me ages!

po3.2
❗️Get DS to do more HE
❗️More work including sorting some dates for workshops etc
❗️Eat something for lunch

SingToTheSky · 17/01/2022 18:11

I’m in a mood. A really shit mood. People can be rubbish, I am so done with people. Except you lot.

po3.3
❗️Towels in dryer
❗️Dinner for Cagletini
❗️Finish watching Sort Your Life Out and try and quell the grumpiness

frankiefirstyear · 17/01/2022 23:14

Sing Thanks hope you're feeling better

One task today was filling in next month's calendar- income, outgoings, refreshing activities and task list.
Positive was the decline of £20 for me getting rid of tv subscription (I have no aerial and an ancient tv so hoping a steaming device will work from now on!) and the last payment for a debt is in February meaning March onwards will see a £55 saving which is almost 2 weeks fuel which I dread needing as it always has such a knock on effect.
Also crossing my mind is that DC dad is self employed, anyone have any clue when CMS review his payments? Guessing it's in April once they've worked out his income for 21/22.

Sorting out the next size dc clothes was a task and a half! But managed to get that finished today so my room is filled with tiny persons clothes mountains while I try to sort to sell. Boudoir is taking a back seat for a few days here (but dc's is on point!)

Hope everyone's getting on well, seems quiet tonight on here. Good night 😴

Redsquirrel5 · 17/01/2022 23:19

Creeps in and puts luxury chocolate in the naughty corner, subdued lighting and soft blankies.

Not much traffic here is it because someone has been throwing things?

Not much done today as I spent most of the morning feeling like I might be sick and from about 1230 with that bloody pain again. Still have it. Had paracetamol hasn’t budged it.

S&S and gave the toilet a good clean as the back was dusty near the hinges and then I just carried on.
Made bed
DH wanted to go to M&S I think it was there ads yesterday. I did mention the Plant based items. I couldn’t shop there every week it is dear. Anyway I bought a few things to try. The ‘I’m not a meatball’ , not chicken and a pizza base as they only have one type of pizza and it had lots of chilliest and those red pimento things which are quick hot and spicy. I bought a base and some tomato sauce and vegan mozzarella. The sauce is really good and I put mushrooms and cherry tomatoes on it. Easy and although I didn’t feel like eating I did have some.
I thought it might be wise to cut down on meat and have some veggie things.
DH told me Hobbycraft was shut. On the way back he said aren’t you going? He ended up telling me to go. So I bought some wool to make my sister a hat and scarf like mine. The colours are called sunset. I need to do my challenge scarf first. I think I will crochet this one for a change.
Helped load dishwasher, wiped worktop.
Did a LOL and have one in ready to set off tomorrow.
There was no booster clinic on today nearby so probably go tomorrow.

Sing that is awful that people are hitting her arm that would really hurt. Not surprised she doesn’t want to go in. I would be telling them she is not safe at school.
Hope you awake happier tomorrow.

Redsquirrel5 · 17/01/2022 23:22

Just misses Frankie. That sounds like a good plan.

ExtremelyDetermined · 17/01/2022 23:33

Been at work all day, then home for half an hour, took DD to swimming (40 min round trip but DH went to pick her up so I didn't have to do it twice).

Had dinner - DH and DD won a breakfast pack in the pub meat raffle last night so bacon, egg, sausage, black pudding and mushroom - pub obviously not doing Veganuary. I had the McPlant burger in McDs the other day, it was very tasty.

Anyway, after that I completed my tax return, typed up minuted of a meeting (PTA) and did some admin for the swimming club, sorted a few things for tomorrow and have gone to bed.

Sorry you're still in so much pain Red, hope you feel better tomorrow.

Sing - that is awful about the girls banging DD's cast. When is she due to have it removed?

Fly - that sounded like a good plan for the day, hope it worked out.

Frankie - sounds as though you had a productive day, £55 extra will be very handy.

Time to go to sleep, night all.

SingToTheSky · 18/01/2022 00:21

ta da
💎audiobook
💎shower/hair
💎lots of work online
💎maths with DS
💎paid chemistry invoice
💎towel LOL
💎wrote out 16 days’ worth of practice maths questions for DD1
💎painted with Cagletini, then washed the brushes while DH put her in the bath
💎DLMS
💎made sure DD1 did her agreed maths questions
💎managed not to fall off my chair when DD1 asked to do another set of maths questions!!! There are no words as to what a huge deal that is for her!
💎ordered food of some description from Tesco. Meals? Perhaps.

It was indeed quiet this evening, sorry if I scared people off with my grumpiness 😳 since lockdowns I am becoming less tolerant of rubbish behaviour from friends (but not getting more assertive about it, so I just seethe more…). But thankfully sitting with DD1 chatting while doing maths was actually nice and cheered me up a bit.

Very busy day tomorrow - facilitating my first workshop as covering for staff sickness. My boss is going to be there too for tech/moral support which is lovely but also a bit scary as she will see me doing all the intro stuff and I feel a bit more self conscious 😳🤣

So I should really try and sleep. Night all

SingToTheSky · 18/01/2022 00:24

ED her next appt is Friday - hopefully having the pin removed although she’s worried they’ll decide it’s not healed well enough and need to put something in permanently. It was healing well at the last X-ray though so fingers crossed.

Right. Think I need some quiet time watching an episode of The Middle before sleep - still feel a bit adrenaliney from being in a mood all afternoon 😳

Ladyrattles · 18/01/2022 00:54

Red I've been trying out lots of the M&S plant based stuff too. I'm not vegan but have developed an egg allergy since full menopause. The plant korma curry is nice but a bit hot. The plant chocolate cake in a pot is £4 but the nicest thing I've had in ages.

Sing back when my DS had his leg in a cast the other kids at secondary school would kick it. Kids can be truly horrible. I put in a complaint.

Ta da spent most of the day creating a pie in the sky wish list for the garden and photoshopping the items into a photo to see how it would look. I did shine the sink (first time in a week ooops) and went around again wiping up all the Martian looking dust (the downside of living on an active building site). It gets everywhere and is constantly blowing in. I also spent an evening with friends online which was nice.

HazelNuttyElf · 18/01/2022 03:57

Sing that's so great that DD1 was wanting to do even more maths! I'm glad it helped improve your mood.
frankie well done on paying off a loan! That's always a great achievement.
Red sorry to hear the pain keeps coming back

Not really much for ta das today, mostly relaxed, did gel on my toenails and enjoyed spending time with DD. I did make dinner tonight and filled the DW. DS & DH rinsed the dirty dishes for me and put the clean ones away. I wiped the countertops, inside the microwave and shined the sink.

I have a lot more cleaning I want to do tomorrow, after my hair appointment that is.
Oh, I did take the Jeep through the car wash and DD helped me vacuum it.

Night all, 🍒👋 to everyone

Stilllivinginazoo · 18/01/2022 05:54

Frankie most satisfying when bills balance out.aa great achievement.my utilities seem to be rocketingwhich is concerning.i need ring eon and get meter checked...
*Sing" kids are horrid.isDD is ok.and 🌟over extra maths!
Red hope you feel better today and results are in soon

Forgotten rest of personals again.apologoes to those I've missed
I did girls room of doom yesterday and the boy dungeon which generated huge amounts laundry..dd2 came in ranting needed pant and dock wash urgently as levels were critical.alightly mollyfied by finding them hung up to dry when went upstairs to shower!
She has English lit assesment / mini a level mocktoday so nervous wreck
DS on part-time table so he today
Hoping to make headway on front room

ExtremelyDetermined · 18/01/2022 07:11

Morning all, another cold, cold day. I went out to the garden shed to rotate the milk to the fridge out there (we use the milkman) and my hands nearly froze on the bottles but the frost on the grass was so pretty with the outdoor light on.

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

Links for Tuesday

Flightplan - today's mission is to spend 15 mins chucking out anything that does not belong in the boodwa (master bedroom).

Tuesday is Plan and Play day. I definitely need to do some planning. Both for work and personal stuff.

Stilllivinginazoo · 18/01/2022 08:00

ed cold here too(freezing fog)
Amazes me lil zoo wears school jumper and blazer and walk 25 mins in NO COAT.she says the leg warmers help....

Tada
Cats fed
Wash on
Kitchen surfaces wiped
Kitchen floor swept
Wake dd for meds
Internet banking
Breakfasts sorted
Snacks for lil zoo(don't "do" lunch at school.dd doesn't eat either just takes dextrose tabs☹️)
Repeat remind D's to get up(he's only in part time but needs to be ready before 8 on days is in so needs maintain the routine)
Girls have just left
Need pick up some cat kibble today for the girls(sainsbo didn't have their sensitive stuff)along usual bread,milk etc

SingToTheSky · 18/01/2022 08:50

Morning. Feeling like a zombie this morning. DH brought me breakfast in bed though.

Routine not happening today, I will shower soon though. Might need painkillers.

DD1’s still at home again… although she’s going in later apparently. Not entirely sure how to handle all this as until recently she’s been excellent at getting herself up and in, generally keen to attend school and not miss a day. Turns out it is mostly accidental arm hitting that she’s worried about so it isn’t a big bullying issue like I assumed thank goodness. Emotionally she actually seems better than last term, happily getting on with homework, eating better. Maybe it’s just that the typical teen struggling with mornings phase has arrived?! I think she is struggling more with sleep so that is probably what needs to be tackled 🤯😩

Must stop waffling and get on with stuff. Definitely need a power of three…

po3.1
❗️More breakfast and painkillers, and drink water
❗️Get H&M clothes and receipt ready for DH to return (hoping they’ll at least give a credit note) while he’s in the next town over with DS as the local branch has now shut
❗️Shower and make self vaguely presentable

Oh god. Big day. Workshop first then straight into staff meeting then a maths lesson. Will be on zoom/teams pretty much constantly 9.30-3, I am not used to this! 😬

Slingingcontest · 18/01/2022 08:51

Morning ED ta very much for links.

I have to cry laugh at today's mission...if you could see our boudoir...just that one task could take all day Blush or longer ...Blush ...I have no idea why it has got so bad ...something to do with everything being shoved in here to make the rest of the house presentable over Christmas. And oh my lord the stacks of clothes piled up everywhere! Partly because DD often gets dressed in here because it's next to main bathroom. And partly because I have got even fatter than usual over two lockdowns and can't fit in to the clothes that are stuffing up my wardrobe (which were my original fat clothes). So my even-fatter clothes are drifting around everywhere. The whole thing is depressing and will take days. You can hardly see the floor.

I am going to start tackling my weight again from 1st Feb btw I have it all planned! From long experience, I know never to start new eating regimes in January! Too depressing! And despite really cutting back on buying fancy Christmas food this year, we still are finishing up the last fancy packs of nuts and things!

Sing hope your dd1 is ok? That's really awful about the other students hitting her cast..Shock And sorry you've been let down by your friends. To give a perspective from the "other side" ...I am aware I am not being a good friend atm...and it's because I am all peopled out with everyone wfh ...which sounds utterly ridiculous when there are only 3 of us here ...but I am virtually never alone nowadays ...and I relied on my "alone times" to "regenerate" if that makes sense.

Ladyrattles exciting about garden plans!

Sorry you are still feeling rough RedSquirrel Flowers. I know I have repeated this too much on here but don't rule out gynae issues, even though your symptoms are digestive. I used to get horrible nausea, and stomach pain , bowel issues, and regular vomiting in the evening 30 mins to 3 hrs after eating dinner (sorry for tmi). Went on for years! Utterly miserable! Had all the tests which came back fine. Docs all said "categorically no connection to gynae issues". Even consultant gynaecologist (a bloke) who did my surgery said that! Had hysterectomy (full works owing to large fibroids and mahoosive ovarian cyst) and all my symptoms disappeared overnight! I can now eat like a horse! (And do! Blush But it is partly because it's such a pleasure to enjoy eating my dinner again without awful repercussions! ) Hence the reason for my fat-even-fatter clothing! Grin

Too few doctors look at issues holistically in the round (they are very much bound up in their own specialties). And "women's troubles" often dismissed or minimised (even , wierfly, from my v experienced and lovely female on/gyn). When I told her and consultant surgeon about this post-op, they both discounted it , I guess because it didn't correspond with what they had been taught at medical school so somehow couldn't exist! Looking back I feel quite angry about it really because it impacted quite badly on my health for years and years ...to the extent where having a sick bucket by the bed every night "just in case I didn't make it to bathroom" became perfectly normal! Envy I had got used to feeling permanently grotty and put up with it! So please, please, make sure that is investigated if they rule out digestive cause. And do not be fobbed off

Good luck to your DD with her mini-mock A-level today Zoo! I always tell DD that to be nervous is not altogether a bad thing because (a) it shows you care and (b) it spurs you on! (As long as nerves are not paralysing sort of course.). Hope it goes ok Flowers

Star for financial planning Frankie

Speaking of which, I have resolved to buy no clothes at all in 2022!

Star for work on kitchen Zireael

I must get on. I should have started work at half past instead of withering Grin!

Have a good day everybody!

Hope you are ok Hills!

Slingingcontest · 18/01/2022 08:56

X post Sing glad it is not bullying! We found old-fashioned alarm clock (one which she had to get out of bed and walk across room to turn off) in addition to phone alarm was best for DD as she can easily sleep through latter somehow!

swallowedAfly · 18/01/2022 09:06

The struggle with mornings stage is a shock when it kicks in Sing - ds had always been a crazy early riser so it I'd taken for granted how easy mornings were till it switched. He's off with a migraine this morning. Though he says he has a sore throat too so need to do an lft once he's feeling a bit better and on the move.

I've grocery delivery this morning (they get to see the one square meter of clean and tidy that is the entryway lol) and then I am giving blood early afternoon - I could do with packing up things that need returning and hauling them with me as the post office is out in that direction too and I don't want to end up landed with things I don't want or need because I didn't return them in time. Haven't done that many times, oh no of course not Hmm

Have been dealing with ds so now need to go take the dog out, make coffee and maybe bring up an armful of clothes to put away. Then I will try and kick myself into the 15 minute bedroom declutter.

StillUp · 18/01/2022 10:15

DH’s paternity leave has come to an end so it’s back into some sort of routine this week for me. Surviving so far!

Ta da:
⭐️ both DC dressed and fed (DH helped with DD1 before he left) plus myself showered etc
⭐️ DD1’s bed made
⭐️ dirty laundry carried downstairs and an LOL in
⭐️ upstairs bins emptied
⭐️ got DD1 to school on time
⭐️ tea and toast for me, feed for DD2

Trying to get her to sleep so I can crack on. I’m quite good with my morning routine now, it’s definitely habit, however it takes me until lunchtime to get it done at the minute, coz, hungry newborn. Evening routine is a big stumbling block for me. I did shine my sink last night and it makes a big difference. I’m going to set some alarms a on my phone to remind me to sort tomorrow’s clothes/bags out, and I’m going to collect some bits together in a sort of Evening Routine basket as a prompt - vitamin D, moisturiser, tweezers and nail scissors so I can keep on top of self-care. My lovely new storage arrived so I’m going to try and do some organising of drawers/bedrooms/cupboards this week, plus little bits of cleaning here and there. Need to do a 2 minute room rescue everywhere today I think.

ED we don’t currently have a wardrobe, just a dress rail until out new wardrobe is built so I got out of yesterday’s mission completely Grin. Thank for filling in for Hills - hope all is ok Hills!

SC I’m going to start the weight loss on 1st Feb too. We can do this! Remember it’s ok for the boudoir to take days, we are in there all week and chilling away at it is progress even if you don’t get it all finished.

swallowedAfly · 18/01/2022 10:30

That's a good idea Still - I have some cute just nail in little shelves I haven't got round to putting anywhere and I could put one above my bed with cleanser wipes and night cream and hand cream on it.

swallowedAfly · 18/01/2022 10:31

To clarify if I just put it on my bedside table it will soon get buried under meds, books, cups and goodness knows what else ends up there.

Slingingcontest · 18/01/2022 11:05

One of the stupidest things I ever did was to buy bedside tables without drawers and (closed) storage so I sympathize with lack of space SwallowedAFly! I like a lot of books, plus lamp, tech, meds& vits, hand cream & Emery boards etc, tweezers and magnifying mirror, notebook & pens, carafe of water and glass by my bed! And it looks a right mess! Grin Think I am going to spray paint the tables and use them in our sitting room where we desperately need side tables and buy some old bedside tables with shelves and drawers from a second hand furniture shop.

I didn't do yesterday's mission as I daren' t look on the top of the wardrobes Grin. Don't know what has happened to me lately as I used to do this sort of task spontaneously and regularly without needing reminding!

Thanks for the support and encouragement Stillup yes we can do this! Smile. [ Shakes enormous glittery pom poms while looking regretfully at last box of Christmas biscuits] And best of luck to you "flying solo" without DH today; which must be a big adjustment Flowers. You sounds as if you are doing crazily well though and are really on top of things! But don't overdo it! Flowers

Hope your DS feels better soon SwallowedaFly and Star for giving blood!
[SC emains suspiciously silent on subject of "lingering returns" ...Blush ...suffice to say ...Vinted is a fantastic invention and my tardiness has swelled dd's coffers quite substantially! Grin]

Waves to Hazel, That, Foxes and everyone I have missed!

Anyone seen Toostressy recently btw? I hope she is ok.

swallowedAfly · 18/01/2022 11:19

Some of the returns are unwanted clothes that I bought ds for Christmas and he has already re-spent the money Slinging the other item is a hugely expensive pair of Fly boots that I treated myself to only to find they dig really badly into my heels so they def have to go back and I too have already respent the money Blush So I must kick my butt into sorting it.

I quite like giving blood and have quite a rare blood type plus ds is O- which is the universal donor blood so feel I have to set an example and normalise it as they'll need his blood when he's old enough even more than mine. On a selfish note it also takes about a thousand calories to rebuild the blood they take lol.

Tadas:
-Walked dog
-Threw out two pairs of shoes that had been cluttering my shoe rack
-Took out all rubbish and recycling
-Put away groceries which required sorting out the freezer and throwing out random crap that has been in there forever and deciding to defrost a load of prawns in order to make enough space
-Emptied dw but am refusing to refill as I want ds to do it
-Read and answered work emails despite it being my day off
-Dealt with a to do from Universal Credit
-Checked bank balances and moved money around

Currently back in bed with coffee trying to warm up and build up motivation to find returns labels and pack things up ready to lug with me to the post office before blood donation.

SingToTheSky · 18/01/2022 12:00

I am awful for lingering returns. I try and avoid buying clothes online because I know I won’t manage the returns - makes me really anxious for some reason. The returns DH is taking back today have been in my drawer for ages (overbought for DD1’s dance show trying to find something that worked!) and I’d kept the receipts safely. The third item was from tk maxx in my town but DH is hopefully getting that sorted in the next one over which has a branch. I’ll have to do the decathlon one myself at some point. However there are shoes I bought for an interview in July that I never wore (interview ended up having to be on zoom, but the shoes were too big anyway) and I need to sell really.

Workshop was good. The boss said after “you did great, I’m never helping you again” 🤣 staff meeting cancelled too as others can’t make it so, thank goodness, I have some time to relax now - maths at 2. CBA with another power of three, might just make the most of the peace and quiet while everyone is out!

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