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Housekeeping

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This New Year, The Fledglings are Flying a new approach

824 replies

HillsBesideTheSea · 31/12/2021 16:54

Hello and welcome to new and old.

If you are new around here. Hi, introduce yourself around the fire pit in the naughty corner where we are all sitting comfortably. The naughty corner is decked out with comfy, and snacks, and a place just to have a chat when things haven't gone to plan. We are a very long running thread but do love new blood stopping by to join us.

Welcome to those who are returning.

We had a chat on the previous thread about possibly trying a new twist on the fly lady system. We all know that the fly lady system is good for establishing routines when we follow it. But we also know that sometimes we need a quick hit of a big declutter. And that life has a habit of throwing curve balls making it very difficult to stay on track.

So this is the plan. Each evening I will post the babystep, a thought point and the flylady daily focuses. We are not giving up on the fly lady system but just bringing it into line with the individuality of our lives, and trying to resolve some of the issues that comes from being the family brain, trying to do all the things and generally having modern busy lives. The thought point is to try to get you to think differently. And may require a click on a link (video), a discussion on the thread, or just you considering things. I do not promise it will make you feel better, or magically change your house straight away. But hopefully it will help with the overall flow and approach. And may just tweak the twee out of the fly lady system to the point where it is now your system.

But before you entirely regret your choices in letting my try this craziness we are going to start with some key basics that I really do think has been incorporated well into the Flylady system.

  1. the mess, disorder and chaos did not happen over night. Give yourself the grace and time to fix it. (also known as roman weren't built in a day so don't kill yourself trying to get your house immaculate in a day)
  1. Goals vs system.
We will go into this a little more shortly but to start, the fly lady system has an end goal - a house which is tidy and clean that comes second nature. It achieves it by building habits and routines that make the steps needed to achieve that goal second nature. There is a lot of research that says goals don't work, systems do. And systems are built on the formation of habits.
  1. You are never behind.
You might not be making the progress you would like, you may have taken a break. But you are not behind. So again, give yourself a break and drop the guilt. There is probably a reason why you have taken a break - illness, other demands on time, mental health etc etc. And yes some days it is an effort to make sure that everyone is fed and ok. But that is ok, so give yourself grace that on that day that was exactly what was needed and thus you succeeded in the essential goal of the day. guilt is just going to make things harder than it needs to be. It is ok not to feel guilty if you did not do all the things.

I will be back later with links for tomo. I am posting them in the evening the night before because some of us are morning people, and some of us are night people. And this way everyone will be able to see prior to when they need to consider it.

Come park your broom in the new thread for a little while and have a natter whilst we wait to bring in the New year.

OP posts:
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Slingingcontest · 16/01/2022 15:14

X post Stillup

I completely get it Fly. I get really angry cleaning sometimes. Because in my head I’m going to sweep and mop the kitchen floor, which is a quick and easy job. But actually I have to get rid of all the crumbs from the bench from where DH has over-enthusiastically buttered his toast. But before I do that I have to clear the piles of crap he’s left in the way. Then before I can do the floor I have to take the washing from the clothes horse and put them out the way, and pick up various toys that DD has left on the floor. Then when I come to clean the floor I realise it’s filthy because things have been dripped and not wiped up, and the cupboard fronts are the same. So what should have been a quick mop is actually a hands and knees scrub and I’ve lost my shit

^^ Bloody hell! You are living in my house! Grin This is such a familiar scenario; I really sympathize! And I don't have a baby to look after too! Flowers

My DH is "pretty good" in his own way too, when he is available. But his messiness undoes all the good bits!

HazelNuttyElf · 16/01/2022 16:31

Red yes, it is an American frosting. I get almost all of my recipes from Pinterest. It was a vanilla cream cheese frosting. Everyone enjoyed it.
fly I agree with the others, DS is old enough to get his room sorted and clothes put away. I also agree that a headset is a life saver. My DS plays the Xbox with his friends and he uses his headset with the sounds going through it, instead of the TV. It really does help.

So far today I've had both cups of coffee. It's almost 9:30. I have a couple of hours before I need to get ready to leave for work. My plan is to do at least 1 LOL, maybe 2, and do some prep work for veggies for dinner tonight (cutting them up and putting them in the pan).
I best be getting moving or I won't get any of it done.

SingToTheSky · 16/01/2022 16:37

Feeling a bit blah. Want to get sorting but my brain isn’t working! So it’s hard to know what to actually do. It’s taken me ages to come up with this utterly fascinating power of three Hmm

po3.3
❗️Take a few bits upstairs for the game Kallax and the selling cupboard
❗️Put LOL in dryer
❗️Collect rubbish/little bits of clutter and more pens/pencils upstairs

foxessocks · 16/01/2022 17:11

Just waiting in the car while the kids are having their swimming lessons. Today was a lot more productive than yesterday. Dh went to the tip. We went for a walk with friends in a country park. I cooked chicken thighs and veg for lunch. Dh cleared out the space which will be the utility room and started laying the floor. I cleared the spare room / office and hoovered it (still got bags for the charity shop in there but its much better)

Even did some if my puzzle and the kids did homework .

I've had a headache all day but still feel better than yesterday when I was just completely miserable all day and didn't really do anything.

up that scenario sounds so familiar!

foxessocks · 16/01/2022 17:12

Good luck with your power of 3 sing!!

frankiefirstyear · 16/01/2022 17:23

Oh flyThanksI understand how overwhelming it can be, especially as there are others around you not pulling their weight. I used to get so frequently overwhelmed and I'd feel like running away, I'd go out alone in the car to scream the place down and cry. My exH was a gamer and I used to get so wound up from it. Frankly my view was that it was unhealthy for him to be ranting and raging over (well anything really) but a pointless game was just ridiculous as a grown man. The fact he'd be so het up about that but then have no energy to even fix himself a meal or have a shower etc was one of the main reason I lost all respect for him. Thankfully he was banished to his game room so I could fill out the sound of it all. He also had to have the sound turned down (our dog wound get upset by it) to avoid the echo and he had headsets.

We spend most of the weekend out and about but have managed to baseline the house both days and also unearthed all of DC's next age clothing after a growth spurt so that was a major extra task I had put on next weeks agenda. Also happy to say that all this weeks tasks are complete plus others so been a massive win for me! Just about to tackle next weeks list but realised it's bathtime so will do that after the dishes tonight!

SingToTheSky · 16/01/2022 18:31

Thanks foxes have had some success. Definitely slow and plodding but it’s gradually getting rid of stuff and putting other stuff back where it should be.

po3.4
❗️Continue rehoming stuff
❗️Go through big BRC for any obvious stuff I can put elsewhere (even if just a more relevant BRC!)
❗️Use now empty pen box to store DH’s random stuff - that way he can go through it all in one go rather than me asking

SingToTheSky · 16/01/2022 18:32

Well done for getting stuff completed frankie!

IWasWillingToGoWassailing · 16/01/2022 20:28

Fly I'm really sorry you're struggling. Off the top of my head, I've forgotten how old your DS is, but I think he's 14/15? It was at 16 that I gave up expecting DS2 to put clothes away neatly folded. That doesn't work for him. As long as things were sorted into clean / wear again / dirty I learned to live with it. It's very different from how I keep my clothes, but it was bearable. The only real rule was ironed shirts and suit / blazer was hung up, and that stuck after a couple of meltdowns on my part.

SC, Up I know exactly what you mean about little jobs being blocked by other ones and then LYS. Far too often "I'll just sweep the kitchen" has to start with "DH's muddy boots are in the middle of the floor" and it all goes downhill from there.

Today has been insane. I ran out of one med this morning because I lost track of time, and DH says he thinks I'm letting things slide. I'll show him letting things slide if he's not careful! However, instead of taking to my bed in a snit I have:
❤️ Done LOL1
🧡 Sorted out the towels in the airing cupboard and under the bed and identified 5 so old they are rags and can go
💛 Put everything neatly back in the airing cupboard
💚 Walked the dog
💙 Dropped off fabric recycling as part of the dog walk
💜 Dried LOL1
❤️ Stripped our bed and put in LOL2
🧡 Sorted and handed out 3 previous LOLs
💛 Made gingerbread chocolate brownies with DS3
💚 Dried LOL2
💙 Put things away under the bed
💜 Made onigiri for packed lunches
❤️ Put books into the spare room so there is enough space on my bookshelf
🧡 Remade our bed
💛 Remade DS3's bed
💚 Ironed the Christmas linen and put it away
💙 Made food for DD, who is struggling again
💜 Received and put away the Tesco order
❤️ Made cauliflower cheese, pie for tea and jam tarts with leftover pastry
🧡 Run cleaner through the dishwasher
💛 Portioned out and frozen the stew DH made
💚 Found space in the fridge for the mac and cheese for tomorrow
💙 Run the DW three times
💜 Updated the calendar in the kitchen for next week
❤️ Hoovered downstairs

I'll give him letting things slide.

Mind you, I'm now beyond exhausted and may be too tired even to get in the bath.

Slingingcontest · 16/01/2022 20:49

Aren't you meant to be still recuperating Wassailing? Take it easy now please! Flowers. Hope you don't feel too sore tomorrow.

If my DH said to me that I was "letting things slide" my response would not have been half as mature and productive as yours! Although I would be surprised that he'd noticed tbh!

Hope you are feeling a bit better now Foxes, Sing and RedSquirrel

Very well done Frankie! Star

No gaming in this house thank heavens; it sounds v unsettling

Take care everyone!

SingToTheSky · 16/01/2022 22:27

Yes, remember your Word of the Year wassail don’t do yourself an injury just to prove to your husband what the rest of us know to be true - that you do a huge huge amount for your whole family! 💕

Mind you my new year aim hasn’t gone that well yet - family fun - all a bit tricky with the effects of my injecment (for newbies that’s what my littlest calls injections!) - booster was on 3rd and I still don’t feel quite right

Didn’t get much of a look in the big BRC in the end but lots of progress made today - really pleased.

po3.5
❗️Test and put away all the pens (plus tape, paper clips etc) I found in our room
❗️Write the week on the board - diary check with DH
❗️Laundry away

HazelNuttyElf · 16/01/2022 22:31

I'm 😱 at DH saying you're letting things slide wassailing did he trip and hit his head, forgetting you just had surgery not that long ago?!
Sing don't be too hard on yourself, it's hard to figure out what to start with sometimes. Making a list helps me when I get overwhelmed.

Ta Das so far today:
🐧 LOLs x3 (including putting them away)
🐧 thawed chicken thighs & ribs for tonight's dinner
🐧 started prepping vegetables for dinner tonight, managed to slice my finger nail, deep enough to make it bleed, talk about painful
🐧 currently at work, taking my break, 2 more hours before I go home.

On my way home I plan to put the Jeep through the car wash and vacuum it, if the line isn't ridiculously long.
I was going to do gel on my nails again, but since I've injured one of them, I should just do a nail pamper (not including the one I've hurt) to neaten them up and give them a break from gel. It's going to take a few weeks to heal, I'll probably have to wait until it grows out 😭
Anyway, back to work I must go..

HazelNuttyElf · 16/01/2022 22:33

X post Sing! well done for writing the week on the board, I remember weeks where you didn't and wished you had by Wednesday..
Okay, really am going back to work now

SingToTheSky · 17/01/2022 00:07

Haven’t actually done it yet hazel as I write my power of three lists to motivate myself rather than after the fact 😳 just finishing the clothes now (started while watching some anime episodes with the Caglets) and all the trips upstairs are embarrassingly tiring!

But I will cling onto the knowledge of how annoyed at myself I’ll be if I don’t. So once I’ve put the last clothes in drawers I will go downstairs and write it (as that also means I can put the chalk pens in the new pen drawers! 🤣

Redsquirrel5 · 17/01/2022 00:15

Wassailing how dare he!

I would be telling him that he had a short memory and that he should be glad that you are here to do anything. You are supposed to be recuperating. Things wouldn’t be sliding if he pulled his finger out and did a bit more.
Ooh I feel cross on your behalf.🤬

Frankie 🏅for you.

Hazel I love Pinterest except that I have loads of emails that I haven’t looked at yet. I need to Declutter my in box.

SC we still have a box at the bottom of the stairs. DH asked me about it but since I filled in on the 6th I couldn’t remember whether it was full or what was in it. I don’t think he has looked in it and although he said on Friday that he would put it in the loft it remains there. He has had the house to himself elf nearly all day as I went to Mass, then coffee back for lunch and out for choir back at 5pm. He did make the tea though.

Sing I am going to try and get my injectment tomorrow. I get similar funnies from BF two youngest grandchildren who have both turned three before Christmas and a little girl at church who has also turned three. They do make you laugh and it is said so sincerely.

Foxes sorry you are laughed with headaches, horrible. Great to be getting on with some projects. Have a look on Pinterest there are some very clever ideas for laundry rooms and other storage ideas. I have started a new collection.
I have two bags for the charity shop maybe if I cleaned out my boot last Friday I could have done something about them.

I woke up feeling a bit better this morning. The pain had gone. It came back though and I am back to the low level pain. I need to book a booster slot and the hospital but I meant to talk to GP about that and I didn’t because he was explaining about the test and I then forgot I might wait until Tuesday and hope he phones with the results. I don’t really want to go to either hospital choices for my op and would like a third choice which he is quite pro normally. Also our main hospital is full of bloody covid at the moment. It is ‘at crisis’ last week. Someone in the village works as an assistant on the covid wards.

Are we in the boudoir this week? Mine certainly could do with it. I am going to collect all the random boxes and bags and sort and hopefully find homes/ charity shop the contents. I need to regain the floor space.

MC are you feeling any better after the weekend? I hope so.

I wish Dancing would come back. Hope she gets the WiFi sorted.

Right I am snuggled down ready for sleep.

Oh one thing DS3 phoned at lunchtime because he wanted to know where his sister was now because of the tsunami. I didn’t know about it but I was really thrilled that it made him worried about her safety. He does care. He hasn’t spoken to her for nearly three years. Apparently he did send her a text to say Merry Christmas😳

🍒👋🍒👋🍒👋🍒👋🍒👋🍒👋🍒👋🍒👋 to everyone.

Ta da list is short.
Made lunch, tidied away.
Put plates in the DW
Took wash out of machine and hung on Everhot.
Shined sink. Love Barkeeper’s friend.😂

swallowedAfly · 17/01/2022 00:24

After all the stressy emotion I marked 15 books, vacuumed the entry rug and the area at the bottom of the stairs which also accumulates hair and dust and where the dog crate usually sits then ended up falling asleep really early so am now wide awake. Have taken the dog out, fed and put him in his crate and come back to bed and will try and finish marking this set of books and then take meds to try and help me get back to sleep.

Thanks for everyone's comments and kindness. Hormones are definitely in the mix. Ds does use a headset so it was just the music he was playing and the shouting. Think I can handle one or the other but not both.

He will do some things round hte house but I find the nagging and battling rather than just getting on with it exhausting and frustrating. It's also a bit of a trade off between resting and getting things done - rightly or wrongly I really seem to need to rest on my days off but they're also the time I have to get things done around the house.

I also think I just feel a bit done in by nearly 15 years of being a single mum and all of the responsibility for everything falling on me and becoming like a stroppy teenager.

SingToTheSky · 17/01/2022 00:36

yestada
🤦🏻‍♀️Errrm… got through the day? DLMS?

ta da
🦔LOL
🦔reading
🦔sorted the rest of the pens/pencils etc
🦔sorted a bit of BRC
🦔collected some rubbish and recycling
🦔rehomed various things
🦔made and sent maths homework and zoom link
🦔put laundry away
🦔wrote the week up on the board
🦔movie night (Hotel Transylvania 4) with Caglets and made the effort to watch anime with the older two

So tempted to stay awake watching more Sort Your Life Out but it’s late and I really must resist!

Ladyrattles · 17/01/2022 01:31

Sorry I've been a bit awol over the weekend. I did read everyone's posts but I had a break from cleaning so nothing to report.

The kids couldn't go on our weekly day trip today (various reasons including a university essay and adhd insomnia), so DH and I ended up wandering round the metrocentre by ourselves for a bit of exercise and some light shopping. It was really nice as I hadn't been outside in days.

But I felt absolutely terrible as the change in plans made us forget we were supposed to take our 18yr old for his booster.

HazelNuttyElf · 17/01/2022 05:39

Sing I had forgotten the PO3 is a list of to Dos! But I do see that you DID get your week written on the board, as well as the rest of an impressive list.
fly well done for getting things done today. I'm sorry that everything always falls on you, but now DS should be pulling his weight. If he stays now, maybe his future DP will be grateful!

I got home from work a little bit ago, stayed 20 minutes later than scheduled, but they don't mind.

HazelNuttyElf · 17/01/2022 05:45

I actually thought I posted the last post 4 hours ago!
Since then, we've eaten dinner, mostly prepared by DH & DS. It was delicious 😋 we then cleaned up the kitchen I rotated the DW, then we sat and played bingo as a family. I have taken a shower and now I'm in bed.
DD wants to go do something with me, just us girls tomorrow morning. We're thinking late breakfast or coffee somewhere, her treat! I hope to get back on here tomorrow at some point.
🍒👋 to everyone

Stilllivinginazoo · 17/01/2022 05:53

fly thanks to weird life I lead I am effectively asingle parent,totally get how hard that us.also in Peru and my lms moments are,at bestBlush
You did more than "just wash a little bit if floor"
You folded laundry,mentally noted other jobs etc.cat poo in the bath I'd deffo fix myself as I know it's done properly.mine tend to furball inconvenientlyon beds when no one's there.I just wanted to say it's ok to get cross over DC mess sometimes.i try not to let rooms bother me as much as I did.how they store clothes is not my circus.as long as I can see the floor and laundry makes into baskets I try to step back on itworking here on getting zoolets on board to help it's a sloooow progress,hampered by my inability to be consistent as it's quicker to do it myself
So far I've got D's on pet duty(feeds morning and night of 3cats,and dies bird feeders outside/checks access to water isn't iced over)
Dd2 does bins and recycling to big bin
Lil zoo is another kettle of fish.as depressed I'm struggling get her to even wash...
Just wanted sent sympathy,solidarity and reminder a LOT of us are in a similar placeFlowers
Red hope results are in soon
Wassail let me at him with the shovelAngry

Forgotten rest of personals,sorry everyone.im at that low ebb on dark cold January along lots personal crap piling up at mo.will try better to keep up and work on this bear pit!!
Bbl with a good tada,promise!

ExtremelyDetermined · 17/01/2022 07:11

Morning all,

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

Flightplan.

Today we are indeed in the boudoir and our mission is to declutter the top shelf of our closet. I must admit I rarely go near mine as it's very high, we keep washbags / travel bits up there and they haven't been used much in the last couple of years. Also some nick-nacks. I could deal with those perhaps.

Monday is home blessing day, when we are supposed to dust, hoover, empty bins and change beds in the space of an hour, even if the house was immaculately decluttered that would be ambitious but as per yesterday's posts when there are toast crumbs etc to deal with first

Our monthly habit is shining the sink, I must admit I have slacked off a bit since the start of the month. Has anyone seen the pointy stick?

IWasWillingToGoWassailing · 17/01/2022 07:14

Ah, thank you all for solidarity. I can't understand DH at the moment, yesterday evening he suddenly flipped back to "you're doing too much and not resting enough". WTAF? Hey ho. I did far too much yesterday and the bloody dog was up at 3am then up for the day at 6am so today will needs must be a quiet one.

Stilllivinginazoo · 17/01/2022 07:23

Ed I snapped the pointy stick in fury at some point.i am currently whittling a new oneGrin

Tada
Cats fed
Wash on
Harpic lav

Kitchen
Windows wiped
Sills wiped
Surfaces wiped
Sweep floor
Wake dd2 for meds
As lil zoo awake woke D's and had joys of multiple lft tests and grouchy teens
Breakfasts done
Lunch for D's
Snacks for lil zoo
A out go brave the bathroom...

Zireael · 17/01/2022 07:28

Morning all, I have been AWOL for a week thanks to work being horrendously busy, my birthday and just, well life really!

I meant to post this last night but fell asleep...

Yesterday spent the entire day washing, wiping and cleaning new kitchen, then brought all the packed up contents down two floors from the loft. Then unpacked said boxes - tinned and packet food, utensils and equipment worked out where everything would live.
Also used as an opportunity to throw out food items/ingredients past their best and any utensils etc we no longer use.
It was an unbelievably exhausting day but absolutely wonderful to have a kitchen back.
Also stripped all the beds, washed all the sheets etc and remade the beds.

Ta Da
Animals fed - we have two puppies, two cats and two chickens.
TD emptied, reloaded x3
Hunted down clothes strewn all over DS’s room and put on to wash
Sorted pile of outgrown uniform to put on school’s preloved uniform facebook page
Ordered medication
Took all china down from the dresser and packed into kitchen cupboard
Utility room rescued from heaps of washing up - mostly items covered in dust from all the building. All washed, dried and put away.
Trip to library with DS to find books to research his school project
Started DS homework
DH went to B&Q to buy paint for the decorating coming next week
Made appointment with British Heart Foundation furniture shop for them to collect our old Welsh Dresser
More laundry in
Hauled said dresser into the garage with DH ready for collection next week
DH took a car full of cardboard to the recycling centre
DS bathed and nit checked, put to bed
Tumble drying folded.

Off to work in a monment and will catch up on the rest of the thread later