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This New Year, The Fledglings are Flying a new approach

824 replies

HillsBesideTheSea · 31/12/2021 16:54

Hello and welcome to new and old.

If you are new around here. Hi, introduce yourself around the fire pit in the naughty corner where we are all sitting comfortably. The naughty corner is decked out with comfy, and snacks, and a place just to have a chat when things haven't gone to plan. We are a very long running thread but do love new blood stopping by to join us.

Welcome to those who are returning.

We had a chat on the previous thread about possibly trying a new twist on the fly lady system. We all know that the fly lady system is good for establishing routines when we follow it. But we also know that sometimes we need a quick hit of a big declutter. And that life has a habit of throwing curve balls making it very difficult to stay on track.

So this is the plan. Each evening I will post the babystep, a thought point and the flylady daily focuses. We are not giving up on the fly lady system but just bringing it into line with the individuality of our lives, and trying to resolve some of the issues that comes from being the family brain, trying to do all the things and generally having modern busy lives. The thought point is to try to get you to think differently. And may require a click on a link (video), a discussion on the thread, or just you considering things. I do not promise it will make you feel better, or magically change your house straight away. But hopefully it will help with the overall flow and approach. And may just tweak the twee out of the fly lady system to the point where it is now your system.

But before you entirely regret your choices in letting my try this craziness we are going to start with some key basics that I really do think has been incorporated well into the Flylady system.

  1. the mess, disorder and chaos did not happen over night. Give yourself the grace and time to fix it. (also known as roman weren't built in a day so don't kill yourself trying to get your house immaculate in a day)
  1. Goals vs system.
We will go into this a little more shortly but to start, the fly lady system has an end goal - a house which is tidy and clean that comes second nature. It achieves it by building habits and routines that make the steps needed to achieve that goal second nature. There is a lot of research that says goals don't work, systems do. And systems are built on the formation of habits.
  1. You are never behind.
You might not be making the progress you would like, you may have taken a break. But you are not behind. So again, give yourself a break and drop the guilt. There is probably a reason why you have taken a break - illness, other demands on time, mental health etc etc. And yes some days it is an effort to make sure that everyone is fed and ok. But that is ok, so give yourself grace that on that day that was exactly what was needed and thus you succeeded in the essential goal of the day. guilt is just going to make things harder than it needs to be. It is ok not to feel guilty if you did not do all the things.

I will be back later with links for tomo. I am posting them in the evening the night before because some of us are morning people, and some of us are night people. And this way everyone will be able to see prior to when they need to consider it.

Come park your broom in the new thread for a little while and have a natter whilst we wait to bring in the New year.

OP posts:
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Stilllivinginazoo · 08/01/2022 08:22
swallowedAfly · 08/01/2022 09:10

Well done THAT.

So far my achievements include spur of the moment booking of flights for Easter holidays now that testing and isolating upon return has been scrapped. Very excited to see the sea and sunshine and old friends again soon.

Have to sort out what to do with animals and have to get ds a new passport.

THATlittleCRACKER · 08/01/2022 09:13

Ty zoo i have already had three Brew up before 6am due to dc6 and a poonami incident 🤮

Only my big two have been back in school so far, middle two back on monday. Not looking forward to being back on school run

HillsBesideTheSea · 08/01/2022 09:41

We have scrapped. The country where the folks wanted to go still has a 2 week quarantine in a hotel at your expense. Which when you only have 2wks holiday makes the entire thing pointless and ridiculously expensive. They are gutted to be missing out on big family stuffs as a result. I am gutted not to be having them out of the house for 2 weeks
So just be careful Swallowed

Sorry another one that kinda went awol. Another one who does not recommend 2 units of study at the same time. Nor getting behind so you have a crap ton of catching up to do.

we made flavoured vodka for christmas. It didn't get drunk at Christmas. we broke out one of the flavours last night. And I remembered why i don't drink. Gives me sodding insomnia Hmm So feeling rough this morning. AND i never did get out to walk in the snow yesterday and it is all gone this morning Sad

Crap ton of things to do and I am going to need a list to keep me accountable. But first links, coffee and clothes. And perhaps a pain killer for the spinning head
.

OP posts:
HillsBesideTheSea · 08/01/2022 09:47

Yesterday's babystep was the bedtime routine - what do you need to do to prep for tomo? It was also date night and clean your car out day.

Today's babystep is to write down your morning and evening routine for the start of the control binder.

Today is family fun day.

thought point: been a week of flying. How is it working for you? what are your successes? What are your need to figure this out things? What fits with how life happens? what doesn't and what is the cause?

Launch pad

Amusingly the fat fairy has not updated her website from December's habit of the month. A good reminder that none of us are perfect and there will often be a small job that gets missed.

OP posts:
SingToTheSky · 08/01/2022 09:49

Eeek that yes I doubled up once, never again! Well done for doing the assignment.

I was so grumpy last night, don’t know what’s up with me at the moment, pretty much everyone (fledglings excepted!) is annoying the shit out of me.

YesTaDa
🚀audiobook
🚀sorted and put away some reading books to use when Cagletini is bigger
🚀collected dirty crockery
🚀LOL
🚀bit of digital decluttering/organising
🚀bit of work including getting started on another project
🚀put away some bedding

This morning I have managed to get back to my basic routine after a couple of days where I just couldn’t. Probably would’ve stayed in bed a bit longer first, but my friend has already messaged saying she’s on her way here. We aren’t having lunch till 12 so I’m a bit worried about being a vaguely interesting and alert friend for a good hour and half before we even get to the pub especially as Cagletini won’t be here to play with her 2yo. Argh.

po3.1
❗️Breakfast
❗️Move laundry on and put towel LOL on
❗️Room rescue bathroom

HillsBesideTheSea · 08/01/2022 09:51

Ah but the toys will be new and shiny and not theirs Sing that always helps imo.

OP posts:
ExtremelyDetermined · 08/01/2022 10:13

Morning all,

Enjoyed a Saturday lie-in after two years of having to set the alarm for 7 to get DS out on his paper round (now given up). Miserable weather here today, grey and very wet. It snowed for a while yesterday but only settled in the higher villages, not in town and even then was only a sprinkling. Much warmer today though.

Flying wise - I fell into that classic trap of needing to reorganise one kitchen drawer and ending up dong most of the kitchen. It got a bit messy, but is done now apart from that very first drawer the contents of which are still out. Solution centres around decluttering some oven trays I think. We have far too many, I'm going to count later, but they are all useful for different things.

I have done a fairly big digital declutter, thousands of emails and nearly a thousand photos over the festive break. Need to sort the photos into albums now for easier future use and make some photobooks.

I have been thinking about the blocks though. When we re-did the kitchen we moved the cat feeding area to the dining room where it has stayed, but have noticed we are not cleaning the mat the bowls sit on as often as we used to - probably because there are 4 bowls on a rubber mat needing at least two trips back to the kitchen for washing if we're not going to risk dropping them all (all breakable). We had been tending to wash the wet food bowls after use but the mat and dry food bowls less often. So I have been looking at either bringing them back into the kitchen or finding a rigid tray so it is easier to pick the whole lot up and carry it through. Also stacking bowls instead of a mishmash of different ones.

Today needs to be an admin sort of day. I have got a phenomenally busy week coming up with 4 non-work meetings including parents evening, plus a family birthday and blood donation. DS has a hockey match this afternoon, he can get there himself but I might take him if it carries on raining so he isn't soaked before he starts, it's a couple of miles away.

Shannara - I have found the book Self-Help for your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes helpful. It is an old book but still very relevant. My DS (who is nearly 18) has struggled with work experience too, he had some arranged for after his GCSEs but that was in 2020 and it didn't happen as the business closed due to covid. He managed to get a bit of part time work with a friend's dad and is now volunteering instead, but it's not easy, he has SNs.

Hills - sorry to hear the people haven't been able to go ahead with travel plans, it's so hard to plan anything at the moment.

Red - I think that marzipan might be a Christmas only thing at Sainsburys, I just checked while doing next week's order and it was no longer there. Hopefully be back next year. Hope you are free to go out again soon.

YesIReallyHave · 08/01/2022 10:17

So I am dipping in and out of here (as per usual). Just got a lot going on. Yesterday was very productive though.

Yesterday's tada:

  • Contacted energy company about faulty energy meter. Some of you may remember that this has been going on since September. I have raised 2 sets of complaints, had over £100 compensation but still waiting for the meter to be changed.
    *Went food shopping
  • 2 loads of laundry away and 1 wash on and out *Paid for school dinners & trip to theatre *Booked a night away with bestie *Helped with revision *Rang hospital for follow up of my complaint - still not heard back from department *wfh for 2 hours *plus dinner, school run, s&s, tidy spaces

Today's tada:
Wash on

To do:
Wash out
Clean laundry away
Watch film with DS (family fun)
Lunch and dinner
Get Boosty out for bedroom, plus dust & tidy the room
Hoover downstairs as it's been a while - Boosty has been doing it.
Get off social media
Have shower (self care)

Hills when I used to drink I got insomnia too. I thought I was the only one because everyone else seems to sleep more.

SingToTheSky · 08/01/2022 10:51

Indeed hills :o we are playing marble run

This New Year, The Fledglings are Flying a new approach
IWasWillingToGoWassailing · 08/01/2022 12:54

Afternoon all! I am taking the weekend today off because it is my birthday! 🥳🎂🥂 i have been spoiled with books and art and bath stuff and cake and DH / DS2 are cooking. 🥰

HillsBesideTheSea · 08/01/2022 14:36

The people kinda tore up my to do list for today. Not mad as it was replaced with stuff that needed to be done, but still Hmm also need to figure out tea as forgot to take stuff out of the freezer yesterday.

My brain is mushy today.

OP posts:
merryhouse · 08/01/2022 14:52

Hipy papy bthuthduth thuthda thuthdy willing Cake

Good news: the duplicate order has been cancelled
We are taking offspring south next Friday (actually, must discuss whether I'm going too - can't fit all four of us plus hard tuba case, depends whether S1 wants to go earlier or not)
Both of them out this evening, so the vastly-reduced Panettone will have to wait for another time
Car has a new brake caliper and so forth so with any luck won't be making weird vibrating noises
Walked to Tesco this morning for milk and tomatoes
Still haven't read any of any of my books Blush

HazelNuttyElf · 08/01/2022 17:25

Happy birthday wassailing! Definitely take the whole weekend off for sure. Not having to cook is the best thing in my opinion, I do like cooking, but not on my birthday (or mother's day).

Sing that marble run looks fantastic!

hills flying has helped me focus on areas of the house, it's also given me permission to do a little bit of a job for a short time instead of going until it's finished. Like sorting out paperwork. I have been getting my clothes out ready for the next day when I work, which really helps me in the morning. I would love to stick to the routines better but with working long days I don't have the energy to do so. I do try to fit as much in on Tuesdays since I'm off, but that's also filled with appointments and errands as well as cleaning. I'm still working on finding a routine that works for me, but one I have continued with is to wash my sheets on Tuesdays.

Yesterday was a full day of work, followed by cooking dinner (as per usual) even though I didn't feel like cooking and wanted to go out to eat, DH reminded me that I said we're having a no spend month. Not that I had forgotten, but was going to make an exception. I'm so glad I did just get on with dinner as it was a success (and easy to make).
While I was waiting for the meat to finish thawing we played pool, we haven't done that in a while, despite having our own table 🤦‍♀️
DD & I went to a couple of stores, we had returns at one (so got some money back) and I had a gift card for another, so bought a planner for home, I still have money left on my card so let DD use it towards her purchases. I still spent no money!

To do today:
☕ have a 2nd cup of coffee
☕ write the meal plan for the week
☕ create the shopping list
☕ create the grocery pickup order for later today
☕ pick up said groceries
☕ make dinner for tonight to take over to ILs

Between placing the order and picking it up I would actually like to make some more of my truffles for everyone to have. I had extras of most of them that they could eat, but not their favourites: Oreo truffles & peanut butter truffles. Both don't take long to make.

Anyway, I best stop procrastinating (something I've been getting better at over the last few months) and get myself that 2nd cup! I'll try to stop back on here later.

HazelNuttyElf · 08/01/2022 20:23

It's quiet on here today.

Ta Das:
📒 meal planning sorted
📒 list made
📒 pickup order created & scheduled
📒 updated budget planner
📒 Showered, dressed & makeup on
📒 LOL started
📒 windows opened to air out the house

I'm about to put clean laundry away, DC did just about all of it yesterday, they have been slacking all week, so threatened to take away Xbox for the weekend if the house wasn't cleaned. Both bathrooms were clean, just about all laundry was washed and dried. I think they even vacuumed and mopped as well. DW was rotated. DS is currently playing on Xbox with his friends (online, with his headset), I think he earned it! DD is at work, but it seems she pulled her weight yesterday as well.

frankiefirstyear · 08/01/2022 22:10

Red hasn't thought of going to a breeder just because the prices are so ridiculously high now but I will look into that thank you ☺️ and another good point fly thank you, today I did see a family looking for a home themselves before using a rescue - something I've not seen happen until today, unfortunately that particular dog was too big for us ☹️ won't fit in my poky two up two down

HillsBesideTheSea · 08/01/2022 23:35

Happy birthday wassailing hope you have a fabulous weekend or relaxing

OP posts:
SingToTheSky · 08/01/2022 23:45

ta da
♟reading
♟shower/hair
♟room rescue bathroom
♟played with friends toddler and went to lunch for a catch up
♟LOL

Redsquirrel5 · 09/01/2022 00:19

Happy Birthday you have to make it a weekend now because of the faffing/ logging on/ losing bits meant I missed it?💐🥮

Redsquirrel5 · 09/01/2022 00:40

Now for the rest!

Frankie I found something interesting for you.
The first needs a Warning if you type in Cocker spaniel breed register it takes you to the Kennel clubs register where it shows lots of info AND photos of 🐶 puppies. There are two not far ( about an hour) from me and they have black bitches. One has puppies ready to leave.😭

However in the info at the top it says it has a list of dogs too that need homes just like the woman said. Now these are likely more than a rescue centre but you never know if someone has had to give up a dog because of moving etc they might feel more like wanting a good home. They are updating their list at the moment but hope to have it on soon.
There is a refuge near us do you want me to look? We live right in the north of England like 20 minutes from the Scottish Border.

Hazel Great start as you mean to go on. Turning off the Internet works well too.

Merry hope the pannetone I bought BF was good. She loved it and my thought for the Time afterwards was thoroughly approved of by GS3 when I mention kid’s treats tin🤗

Sing looks great fun!

Yes fab list.

Hills oh dear but at least you won’t worry about them bringing them back. Could they go to Lthym St. Anne’s or somewhere so you get the break.
Ed ah yes. May have some left over still in the shops. Might persuade DH to go on Monday.

That you are a bloody amazing woman! Six kids /Christmas/ six kids/ New Year/ assignment in. 🥇

Post before I lose it. Playing funny buggers.

Ladyrattles · 09/01/2022 01:00

Hope you had an amazing birthday wassailing

Sing I really want to come to your house and play with that

Ta da's
Tennismeal planning for next week
Tennisfixed cat area
Tennisshower/dressed
Tennisbraved B&Q for tap adapter
Tennisdusted tv and bench

Tomorrow's 'to do' is an outing with DH & DD,DD,DS. Fingers crossed no fighting & no ibs.

Redsquirrel5 · 09/01/2022 01:09

So despite all the weird headaches( seeing jagged shapes in black and white, auras and thumping heads, very bad stomach aches, feeling cold, feeling hot, coughing a bit more than usual. We haven’t had/ got Covid! PCR back negative.

So now I need to book booster. Ring GP and try and get through. Will leave until Tuesday. Monday you start losing the will to live and the music and updating message😖😫

Up late. About 11 as I was awake during the night with awful cramps. There is definitely something weird going on in my stomach, intestines.

Checked out sitting room and pleased with the result.
Tea.
Watched Bake off New Year. I just love Kim Joy. They all did well you can see the confidence now.

Started in kitchen. Quick tidy.
Put marzipan on remaining cakes.
Made Royal Icing as DS1 wants it instead of fondant. Used balloon whisk and new box of icing sugar and sieved it too. Made a lovely batch and able to keep some in a box. Iced all his cake (smooth sides and frosted top )and spent ages making trees to go around the sides in threes x 4. I didn’t have any green and no colouring so made them a very trendy black and dusted with icing sugar. A little sprinkle of silver dust on top.
I had the radio on and took my time so felt very relaxed oh and I used up the rest of a candle.
DH was impressed! Shock he noticed.
Will ice others tomorrow but need to dry out first.

Cleaned all the mess up and washed up.
Dishwasher loaded.
Put Kenwood away.
Took everything out of corner cupboard. Wiped, Decluttered very old herbs x3. Reorganised spices. Returned everything after wiping and re organised. This took a long time.

Wiped and cleared all work top. Checked egg. Threw out egg.
Cleaned sink.
Made soup for DH.
Made omelette for me
Made cheese board for DH.
Washed up
Used dishwasher.

Snuggled up in bed after swishing the s

Stilllivinginazoo · 09/01/2022 06:03

hazel I love pool!hope you manage to squeeze in a few mins for yourself
Red the cake sounds fab!would e loved see a pic of that!

HazelNuttyElf · 09/01/2022 06:50

I wish zoo when it's my turn to cook for the family I always seem to overdo it, at least a little bit. I didn't get any time to myself today that didn't involve cleaning of some kind. It wasn't a bad day though.

More ta das:
🍹 grocery order picked up and put away
🍹 dinner made, took a while. I made chicken Alfredo casserole (keto, so no pasta involved), fettuccine on the side (for whoever wanted it), shredded cabbage, pan fried (that I used instead of pasta).
🍹 cleaned up our kitchen, including rotating DW
🍹 took dinner over to ILs, where we all ate together, I had to finish cooking a few things there
🍹 did dishes and cleaned up their kitchen (they don't have a dishwasher, so everything is hand washed)

So tired, it's almost midnight here. 🍒👋 to everyone

HazelNuttyElf · 09/01/2022 06:52

Red the cake sounds amazing, I would also love to see a picture of it!

Lady sorry I missed welcoming you, as well as all the other newbies! I hope your enjoy your family day tomorrow

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