It's July, Fledglings are Flying towards Freedom (hopefully!)

[EverythingDelegated]

Hello and welcome to the July 2021 Fledgling Flylady Thread. Thank you Willow for an excellent pair of June threads. Welcome to one and all, old hands and newbies, lurkers and longtime posters and anyone in between. This thread keeps us vaguely on track with Flylady and is where we post our Ta Das and Yes Ta Das (what we did yesterday 😁), our To Dos and To Didn'ts, and discuss anything that comes to mind (often not housekeeping!).

The beauty of Flylady is that you are never behind, the whole system repeats every month, just jump in wherever. The aim is to gradually get into good habits and regular routines that keep the house ticking over rather than having a huge blitz on it.

To help you with this I'll be posting links to Flyady's Flight Plan and other useful parts of the website, which is updated daily, it's also good to go in and have a browse (some of it is a bit twee though). Do NOT sign up for the emails, you will be inundated.

The system divides the house up into weekly zones, then in each zone there will be timefor decluttering, a small daily task (the Mission) and each day of the week has a theme too (eg Errand Day). You can switch things around to suit your circumstances, there is a weekly Sneak Peek page to help you plan ahead. There are also 31 Babysteps, small daily habits to adopt (eg wearing shoes around the house if you'd rather not). Finally Flylady wants you to make time for you and your family, so weekends are more relaxed.

Jargon
Flylady (and the thread!) has a little bit of her own peculiar jargon it can help to know:
S&S - swish and swipe - a quick go round a bathroom or cloakroom to keep it acceptably fresh
LoL load of laundry. We are not collapsing into hysterical laughter over the state of our washing baskets
Hotspots any areas that tend to collect clutter no matter how often you clear them - mine is definitely the corner of the worksurface by the kitchen door, and the bookshelf at the bottom of the stairs
5 minute room rescue a quick whizz round any room to create a semblance of order
Weekly Home Blessing (often Home Bleugh here) - an hour a week to keep the house acceptable. I think this can only be done in an hour if you only have one bed in the house to change, so take it with a pinch of salt. I spread mine over the week as I cannot get it down to an hour and don't have an hour to give to it either.
Ned and Ted - imaginary friends often draughted in to assist with washing and ironing
BRC Bag, or box, of Random Crap
(D)LMS (Didn't) Lose My Shit - often a necessary acronym around spouses and teens!
Naughty Corner - the thread's imaginary space for rest and recuperation when it all gets too much. Often stocked with soft cushions, blankets, drinks and snacks. May or may not have a free bar, fire place, sunloungers, hot and cold running barmen etc.
Cherry waves 🍒👋 - lovely type for cheery wave that stuck!
All Fed and No One Dead - a good outcome to a busy day.

The beauty of Flylady is that is can be adapted to any household setup - lots of DC or just one, or none; a partner / spouse, or ex, or those going it alone; those working within or outside the home; shiftwork, you name it.

Our motto is No Fledgling Left Behind, so if you are a returner or a lurker, welcome on board, there is always space her for more Fledglings.

Hi peeps

Exciting day yesterday, as Ancestry threw up a hitherto-unseen document which records H's paternal grandfather as the child and his mother as the "unmarried wife" of a WW1 casualty. Full names and correct date of birth so no chance of mistake. Seems to have joined up about 1910 and gone to India, possibly explaining why they didn't get married when the pregnancy became apparent.

Slightly less exciting to discover that there are at least three people of that name within that regiment (we know his number, enlistment place and alleged birth town but half the records were apparently lost in a WW2 bombing raid...). The promising one with the middle initial survived, which was annoying (for me, not for him obviously). And nobody seems to have War Hero Great-Uncle Robert in their tree. Still, we have a name which is more than we had on Monday.

Still hopping along the grass, all fed no-one dead essential laundry.

I think it happens to a lot of us from time to time Honey and its one of the reasons these threads are so great, we've all been there. If we had perfect homes we wouldn't be here. Try not to be hard on yourself, you've got a lot on your plate, try a little power-of-three tomorrow and see of that helps . Was it you that mentioned the JKR podcast? I listened this afternoon, it was lovely.

It wasn't me and I haven't listened yet. If anyone has a link to hand that would be great.

Hills you are a wise woman, and/or a little further down the road by the sounds of it. Thank you x

If we had perfect homes we wouldn't be here.
Totally that. 💐

I’ll join you in the “aaaargh” corner, feeling a tad panicky about how many plates I need to spin. I know I’m doing the right thing planning DS’ year 8 more now, but there’s so much other stuff I need to be doing, and I keep switching between totally loving this busy new lifestyle and smashing my to do lists, and sitting in a daze on the sofa with my phone in mindless scroll mode.

I should probably reassess my to do lists because after doing a few essential bits on them, I ignored them.

One day I’ll earn that adulting badge… today is not that day.

We haven’t even started prepping the walls in the bathroom either. 🤦🏽‍♀️ DH was shattered when he got in, and Cagletini was being a right madam. At least DH doesn’t have his usual appt tomorrow (much as it’s hopefully helpful long term it is pretty horrible in the short term each week) so maybe we can try and get some stuff done before my job centre meeting, and then I’ve got maths at some point with my friend’s DS so the boys can hang out after.

Sing- goodluck for the bathroom when you start it.

Honey- dont be hard on yourself, as there is no perfect house here. Just trying paddle my way out chaos. You will get there.

I am so sorry to hear what happened to your poor tree! I am glad you told the driver. I saw a programme on bbc 1 in the morning with Gloria Hunniford and they did a item on damange to fences by delivery drivers- they were caught on cameras. After sorting that all out i am not suprised you didnt feel like flying. Hope you are ok now.

Here's the link to the radio programme: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m000y5th

Sing being busy means you need to recharge by mindlessly scrolling through phone, surely? Need time to recharge and process for the next bit of busyness.

zoo, honey how are you feeling today? hills thanks for the advice re: DS temper. ED how's the kitchen looking?

Ta-da
Bed made
LoL on
Bin emptied and rubbish out
Recycling out.

Feel a sense of achievement. Best bit was it took less than 5 minutes for whole lot 😁

🍒👋🏼 to everyone else. It's sunny and I'm feeling more optimistic. A productive day is a happy day.

Oh one more ta-da that I forgot to add:

Wiped front door (outside side), it is a magnet for dirt and grass cuttings, you name it.

💐 for those struggling with angry teens, we have had similar points particularly with DS2. They do seem to come out the other side, but it is so hard while you're mired within it. Actually getting them to tidy after themselves has been a huge flashpoint, and one that is still ongoing His ADHD, even when medicated, definitely doesn't help Hills you speak wisely.

Merryhouse how exciting to partially break down a brick wall! Tedious about the loss of records during WW2, though, I've fallen foul of that before.

Zoo hope you are ok today. If your get up and go has got up and gone, that is your body telling you to rest. Trying to push through it will only lead to more such messages until you keel over. Please be careful. Hope the ED clinic with DD2 goes ok today.

ED hope the kitchen is taking shape!

I had many more personals to add, but they've all fallen out of my head. I shall content myself with offering 🍒👋 to all and hoping you all have a good day with compliant children, enough rest and good things to eat.

Welcome, also, to Sing's new plant Esmeralda. We have Mickey the Monstera in the living room now and I live in daily fear of his having reached ceiling height / taken over overnight.

I've totally lost my thread on where I was on here, so I shall start again today.

Ta Da:
❤️ Cup of tea
🧡 Kitchen cleared after DS2 cooked

To do:
🌞 Get out of bed and put clothes on
👙 LOL
🌞 Clean washing sorted and people told to collect
👙 Make bed
🌞 Decide on and defrost tea
👙 Hoover
🤭 Take DS3 to holiday tennis course
👙 Work - almost finished 17th century Cornwall stuff
🌞 Work out work income pipeline as I've totally lost control of it

Yesterday was unexpectedly liminal here - DS1 and GF had gone home, DS2 and GF went to work and to look at a flat (!!), DD took DS3 into London for bubble tea and a sit in Soho Square, DH had a London jolly with new colleagues lunch meeting. I was here entirely on my own and my counsellor asked me to sit with feelings rather than making myself busy with House Stuff. It was strange and rather uncomfortable, but I survived it.

And DS2 did not take the flat, the whole thing was smaller than his bedroom here (which is about 12 foot square) and he reckoned they'd kill each other. Also, the choice was sofa OR bed.

Right, must get on. Tennis beckons.

Morning all.

Sorry for late links, today is Thursday and our mission today is the high level dusting in the living room, which for me includes the top of the fridge-freezer .

The Flight Plan is here flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-60

Also Thursday is Errand Day, I don't think I need to do any physical errands but I have a lot of emails to deal with so I am making a list for later.

Where's Red? We have an exciting delivery due this afternoon, it weighs about a ton and will be finding its home in the kitchen. I will post photos later.

Kitchen is starting to take shape and we are getting into a routine for doing without it, it is a bit like camping. I am actually enjoying having the kitchen table in the front room, I'm sitting at it now, telly on low in the background for the Olympics, nice view from the window, sun streaming in. DCs are heading off on the bus to nearest big town at lunchtime so I will be doing some work and catching up with aforementioned emails.

Sorry to not be keeping up with the chat, I have been a "light touch" thread leader this month, but I am trying to keep up with you all.

Up - I was also scrolling up and down looking for a new poster called Esmeralda .

Yup - thanks for the link, sorry for mistake over who posted about it. I really enjoyed the podcast.

Better go again.

:o I shall inform Esmeralda of all the welcomes. I’m sure she could join in, she’s probably better at housework than I am at this point.

I also want a monstera! And Esmeralda did have some lovely yellow equivalents in the shop which I’m very tempted by… should I call it Quasimodo?!

I didn’t wake up till almost 11 😳 granted it was a late night but still. Sadly my wonky* achievements so far are purely delegating a bit to DS, finalising my home ed book purchase list for a group order with friends, and defeating the boss on Pokémon Go 😳

Yay ED! 🤩

Right. C’mon Sing.

po3.1
❗️Get dressed
❗️Print job specs for new vacancies
❗️Try and somehow decide the plan for today and maybe the next couple of days

*I did try and write “only” but frankly the autocarrot’s decision wasn’t wrong, so I left it.

i got a not too expensive monstera from B&M recently. Much cheaper than anything i have seen anywhere else but not the cheapest plant i have ever bought.

Another who thought zoo was greeting a new poster and I couldn't see her post

Oooh at new delivery ED. Please do post a pic. Maybe needs a name too.

IWill well done on surviving sitting with your feelings. I would find that rather anxiety inducing I should think.

Ta-da
3rd LoL out drying
Tidied living area and hoovered
Started packing for weekend away.

Lunch made for DS
DP back. Phew.

To-do
Get milk (had words with DP)
Pick up dry cleaning
Return goods at shop
Think about what to have for lunch

That’s where I got Esmeralda hills and in the larger store they had a monstera too 😀

Thanks Yup - will listen later.

Bit gutted at the minute because I agreed to go out with a guy for a date the other night, had a nice evening. Then ended up talking on the phone for 2 hours last night and was getting quite into the idea then tonight he sent me a 'picture' and it was just like oh, I see, you're one of those. When I expressed that I wasn't comfortable with it I got the oh you're overthinking, why do women make problems where there are none kind of attitude back I don't even know how I'd go about explaining to someone who doesn't 'get' why sending unsolicited pictures like that isn't a good thing so game over I guess.

Went swimming at an artificial beach today. Windy and chilly and our picnic was swamped by wasps but had fun. Just a bit gutted now that what was looking to be potential fun and company over summer is now gone.

I have just retrieved the teen. He has been home 15mins and all he has done is whine and complain about the state of the house.

I am off out to run some errands teens can be twats sometimes. but he might have a tiny bit of a point, just a teeny teeny tiny bit

I also thought it was a new member and scrolled back two pages😳 but now you mention plants I do vaguely remember you mentioning giving it a name.

😃Ed I was going to ask you this morning if you had one coming. How exciting. Wait until you have baked potatoes. Slow cooked lamb,
Mediterranean roasted veg and Pavlova. If you got a book make the Sticky Toffee Pudding and everyone will be your friend!
Looking forward to the photos. I haven’t named mine yet but most people do.
Supper is out, will be back.

Oh FFS honey I’m sorry you had one of these. What is WRONG with these men?

Tada!

No name yet, also no electricity but she is here.

honey i recently had: "What's the problem with just one kiss..." Like i have told you i wasn't interested, i'm still not interested. So it would be a big problem. Sorry about the dick pict.
The attached picture always springs to mind as a response:

Honey that is so shit. Why do they do that

I don't know. He was doing well, he was 'in' if you like so totally sabotaged. I am wondering if they genuinely don't get that we don't want them because they'd be delighted to receive the equivalent.

Right. I’ve sorted the laundry downstairs into piles but that’s about all I have done this evening. Job centre appt was good, as was my maths lesson. Cagletini had two sessions outside on her balance bike (catching yetis apparently… just grateful she didn’t mean me :o) so it’s been a nice day other than the nagging feeling of having shitloads to do.

po3.2
❗️Take laundry up and put away
❗️Use wallpaper stripper in bathroom
❗️Decide plan for tomorrow

You’re right yup I definitely do use the phone scrolling as a way to reset after being busy or overwhelmed. My problem is I do it far more than is actually helpful :( I relax more when I read or even just watch something interesting/funny on my phone.

Gammon, pineapple, mash, carrots and spring cabbage. Yum.

Teens
Ah almost a distant memory for DH and I now but reading the thread it brings it all back. I did it by talking and occasional ranting. The fact we lived somewhere without transport helped. A carrot to dangle.
DH did it by silent action. A bin bag removing mess clothes, plates, mugs etc. He would get annoyed and put everything in it then into the bin. While it had the drama factor it was annoying to me who had probably bought the clothes and scrimped myself. Granted he only did it twice. She went spare!
One of the boys is very neat so we had no problem with him other than he was bullied and refused to go to school, refused to go to another school but was fine at 16.
Eldest quite tidy bit of clothes on floor, DS2 messy. Still messy but keeps his house clean and works long hours.All the boys could cook and bake. Started them at 3 so could make scones, biscuits and buns by themselves by 8 and could cook a two course meal by 14. DS1&2 could use the washing machine by 14 and DS3 by 16. New machine and he was a little slower. Jobs were rooms, washing up every night unless they had cooked. As 3 one washed, one wiped and the youngest put away. DD was little.

At Nurture training we were lectured about the brain and how it re- wires during teen years. It was very interesting and explains a lot.

Not much cleaning going on here.
I have been engrossed in the Olympics. It started with the dressage. I used to watch a lot with mum when I was a teen and this year I have the time so I have been sitting watching lots. I used to love the gymnastics so I watched that. They were amazing. The canoeing before I got out of bed and after a few jobs the 7 a side.

I have been cleaning out four handbag and a bag.
Vacuumed while the news was on. Swept the kitchen and cleaned worktops and loaded dishwasher. Fed hens and watered tomatoes taking off some of the leaves.

Hills wise words and yes doesn’t it move fast when you miss a day or two.
Dancing I would answer that there is a lot more to teaching than meets the eye, it is stressful and lots of staff are leaving the profession. No one needs to know your personal reason.
I would say that tutoring would be ideal if you want to do it. So many children are behind now I am sure many parents would be glad of a tutor. I used to have one for DS1 when his teacher had him reading books well below his ability.
Sing your doing really well with your volunteering and teaching.
Wiilow is that DS and ‘ not the girlfriend’ - goodness. You are probably pleased he had a reality check.

Honey hope you have a bit of time for yourself. Can you just shut the door on it? DH sometimes hid the PlayStation or just the lead if teens were shelving jobs until later. Might that be a way of gaining his attention. Not giving in is tiring but the way to go. When they leave home they appreciate you more.