I'm trying to rethink holidays for our family and would really appreciate experiences from other families with neurodivergent children, particularly where the children have quite different needs.
We have two children who'll be 8 and 6 next summer. Both are autistic/ADHD, with demand-avoidant/anxious profiles, although they present very differently.
We've done a fairly traditional Mediterranean resort AI holiday for the last four summers. We've just come back from Crete and, although there were lovely bits, it's made me realise the format isn't necessarily working that well for us anymore. I also get run down and ill and spent a lot of this holiday and after trying to recover.
Some of the things we find difficult:
• Airports/flying are stressful, particularly for our eldest, and all the transitions involved make the beginning and end of the holiday hard.
• Our eldest has a very restricted diet, so eating in hotel restaurants/buffets can be difficult and repetitive rather than a treat.
• She can become overwhelmed by heat, noise, crowds and too much activity and needs significant downtime. She can be perfectly happy spending a day in the room/relaxing, but that can leave us feeling as though we're wasting an expensive resort holiday.
• Our younger child is almost the opposite and needs a LOT of movement, novelty and stimulation. He wants to swim, explore, climb, play etc, so sitting around doing nothing isn't particularly relaxing either.
• Neither child is likely to happily disappear into a kids' club, so we don't get the usual parental downtime that can make an all-inclusive resort worthwhile.
• Sightseeing-heavy city breaks wouldn't work either — too much walking, transitioning and adult-led activity.
• We need enough structure/things available that nobody is bored, but enough freedom that we can abandon plans, split up, eat familiar food and have quiet time without it feeling like the holiday has gone wrong.
So I'm wondering what other families with similar dynamics actually do for holidays? I'm increasingly thinking self-catering might suit us better, perhaps a really good campsite/holiday park in France or elsewhere in Europe, with a pool, beach/nature nearby and activities available but not compulsory. We'd have our own space, could cook familiar food, and could have days out mixed with days doing very little. Driving rather than flying also appeals, although we're open-minded. But I feel like it wouldn't be very relaxing.
Equally, I'm interested in completely different ideas: UK holidays, Center Parcs-type breaks, villas, cruises, road trips, trains, activity holidays, splitting a longer holiday between places etc. I'm less interested in a particular destination at this stage than format that you've found actually works.
Ideally we'd like something during the summer holidays next year, partly to break up the six weeks, but we're also open to going at another time of year if avoiding peak heat/crowds makes a significant difference.
Budget isn't unlimited, but I'm happy to spend decent money on something that actually works for all four of us rather than paying thousands for a conventional family holiday and spending half of it trying to manage everyone's nervous systems!
If you've cracked holidays with ND children with conflicting needs, what do you do, where do you stay, and what specifically makes it work? Any advice much appreciated!