Should I worry if my Year 13 daughter does not want to go to university?

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My dd is in Year 13 at college. She works hard, on target for good grades and has said she doesn’t want to go to uni. She’s not sure what she’d study. But I worry about her missing out on the uni experience. 80% of her cohort are likely to go to uni following the figures college released on last year’s cohort. I worry she will be lonely as college with friends has been very very mixed and she’s not got a strong group and we live in a small town.

Family business doesn’t count! They always had a job! @Rhubarbsoap As I said - building trades! Entirely different. They are not doctors or lawyers are they? A rental company doesn’t require a degree either. You just need to have a deposit and borrow.

Yes, a very good degree and a clear idea about a career does enhance lifetime earnings. Doctors get the best returns from degrees. Economists from LSE do better than economists from Wolverhampton. So university and subject matter. There was a good survey on subjects by the IFS and some subjects don’t pay enough to make them worthwhile eg Acting and fine arts. Others are marginal eg English. Stem is largely better for pay but obviously people who become well paid lawyers mostly haven’t done stem. So career choice matters too.

The two most successful people in my school year didn’t go to uni. One started in a bank after A levels and worked her way up to a six figure salary and has just retired at the age of 57.
The other trained as a nurse via a teaching hospital. Worked her way up the management side of nursing and earns a seven figure salary as a CEO of a health company.

If they have retired at the age of 57 they did their A Levels nearly 40 years ago! That's hardly relevant to now. Banks are not taking on staff. They are closing branches. Investment banks want graduates. Nursing is now a graduate profession ( although you can do a degree apprenticeship) There is an argument to be had about whether they should be grad professions but that doesn't help YP today when they are looking for a job!

You seem to be more concerned about your DD's social development than any other reason for her to go to university. She's being sensible IMO, especially if she's not even sure what she'd like to study were she to go to uni. I would not be advising any of my DC to go to university these days unless they were absolutely dead set on pursuing a medical career, or law or teaching, or a very specific scientific field. Incurring £50k+ of debt in order to have "an experience" is not sensible. She's much better off working and figuring out what she wants to do with her life as she matures. If she finds she does need a degree to do something that she later wants, being that she's capable means she'll have no problems as an adult learner. So please don't pressure her to do something that you are not going to pick up the pieces of 4 years down the line when she's no job prospects and no money. Who's to say that she won't form friendships and a social network through her work anyway?

No. If my DC didn’t want to go I would support that and help him make a plan.

One option is applying and deferring or not going, you’re not tied. She could also apply the year after if she felt she missed out.

If she doesn’t want to go now she shouldn’t - it’s a huge commitment if your heart isn’t in it. Life is long. There always time.

I wouldn’t worry about her not wanting to go to university if there is nothing in particular she is passionate about studying.
Our eldest went to uni because she wanted to but our youngest didn’t and has taken a very different path in her working life.
She has zero regrets and has so far done better than her peers who went to uni.
She doesn’t have the student debt and has plenty of opportunities to progress in her chosen career.
University isn’t for everyone.

No. She needs a plan and goals after but uni is NOT the only way

@SylvanMoon It’s not debt though is it. It’s an investment in yourself to get a better job. Most law grads don’t become solicitors or barristers. Nearly all
medical students become doctors. It’s not route 1 to success to do a vocational degree.

DS is 14 and also very sure he doesn't want to go to uni. He's doing well at school and is certainly bright enough but much prefers more hands on learning. His current plan is to apply for a deck cadetship with a cruise line - probably electro technical but also interested in deck cadet.

I'm really supportive of this plan, a good amount of the learning is still classroom based at Southampton Uni then the rest at sea where he can earn money with no living costs and see some of the world.

Just aim for your kids to be happy! At 18 it’s their life. University isn’t just for 18 year olds and she’ll always have the option and the qualifications.

dc 1 went to a RG Uni, A* student, working now as a PA in a large multinational law firm earns less than her 17 year old BTEC level 2 3 GCSE’s sister! Her sister will have to compete level 3 at some point to move up the pay scale and might even need to consider higher level qualifications later. DC1 has options to move up in lots of directions within the company because of her degree- swings and roundabouts!

DC2 is repeating her final year, working in a chicken shop, living her best life with no idea what’s next!

you have to let them live!

Why are you happy she's repeating a year?

She’s 22 and a grown up - it’s her choice, she had a rough final year for valid reasons and she made the choice to redo it - I’m happy she’s in a good place, in love, working hard and enjoying her life.

To be fair, she doesn’t even need that.
She can wing it her whole life if she wants. We need to stop telling people they have to plan things. They actually don’t. Just grab a few GCSE’s and then do whatever’s you fancy whenever you fancy it.

@Sodthesystem Have you said that to the 1 million NEETs? If only it was that easy! Grads have lower unemployment rates than non grads.

We are a very university oriented family (both have worked in academia) but I don't expect my children to have to go to university. There are plenty of ways forward in life that don't involve university. Trades, technical or vocational type jobs, for example. I do expect my children to have a realistic plan, whatever that may be.

Ultimately in the end you need money and need to pay bills (unless mum and dad are funding you forever). You can probably have a few years of this, but what are you going to be doing when you're 50? Living in a house share?

Yeah but why would not planning mean that would happen? Or, planning mean that it wouldn’t?

You just go out and get a job and work your way up at it. And if you don’t like it, quit and do something else. You can have all the plans you want but there’s nothing to say they will work out.

Also, personally I might like to live in a house share when I’m fifty. Sounds like it could be a laugh. Better than a few other things…like marrying some old guy that needs you to be his nursemaid.

You only need plans if there’s some goal you really want to achieve. Other than that all you actually need is a basic idea of where to earn dosh as and when you need it.

I’ve lost count of the number of my students who say they don’t want to go to uni. By May when their peers start getting offers they regret it so whatever else she does make sure she applies through UCAS just in case

@JustSayyNo What technical jobs? I guess car mechanic? Maybe repairing appliances but there’s huge competition for such jobs. There’s few shop jobs but there’s hairdressing and nails. It’s a case of planning though as they all require a job with training and a decision on what job!