Should I worry if my Year 13 daughter does not want to go to university?

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My dd is in Year 13 at college. She works hard, on target for good grades and has said she doesn’t want to go to uni. She’s not sure what she’d study. But I worry about her missing out on the uni experience. 80% of her cohort are likely to go to uni following the figures college released on last year’s cohort. I worry she will be lonely as college with friends has been very very mixed and she’s not got a strong group and we live in a small town.

It’s not. Around 36/37% of 18 year olds still go. Apprenticeships have barely made a minor dent and there always were dc who could not be bothered and preferred to stay at home and get a job. The majority of grads do get an earnings premium for going because degrees give access to the better paid careers.

The ‘uni experience’ is, for most, vastly overrated. It’s not ‘the time of your life’ and you won’t always make ‘lifelong friends’. For many it’s lonely and hard, even the most confident extroverts struggle at times. And it’s certainly not a reason to go.
Help her explore alternative steps forward.

40% of people have a degree now. That still means the majority DONT.

My son is 18 and hasn’t gone to uni, some of his friends have, some haven’t. He’s at college one day a week and working as an apprentice in a trade. I’m just happy he is doing something he enjoys whilst earning and qualifying with out thousands of pounds of debt

I always find it a bit weird when people state that one of the reasons for going to Uni is that they “made life long friends there”. You do know that those of us who didn’t go to Uni still have some really good friends don’t you?

I’d talk to her about what her plans are. She will still have another year of free education if she wants to do another course.

Ideally you’d want her on an apprenticeship or working and studying, either at College or with the OU.

Employers seem to be favouring young people with a proven work ethic right now as they can be a safer bet so she may do well in applying for apprenticeships.

If she has a job and isn’t going to just lay about unemployed, don’t push her. maybe she just needs time to reset and find her true road.

Uni is pointless u less you actually have a desire to be there and are studying something that you really want to pursue. Otherwise it’s a debt machine.

Uni is a waste of time now unless vocational. Even the “uni experience” has gone to the dogs. What course did she do at college? What a-levels? I think my 16 year old currently doing A levels is a waste of time personally, but he will most certainly be needing a job at 18. Poor lad wants one now but can’t find one. We just are not investing in our young people. I feel sorry for all the kids who do the right thing.

There might be a little bit of adjusting when her friends head off, but she will make work friends and her current friends will come back for the holidays.

Its no point going if she doesnt know what to study but I would say a lot of people take a gap year now to earn money and think more about if its what they want to do.

I agree that the Uni experience may be very different from what a lot of previous graduates have had. So many seem to commute these days and if they don’t, a large proportion of their course probably will.

The sometime obsessive idea for 17 year olds is insane. How can some know? You go through school, one stage to the next, regardless. Now you hit 16 or 18,its a tree with many branches to explore. Some you may fall off, others you can use to climb higher, maybe on a different branch.
Live life. Work with people of all ages and experience, work a season in a youth hostel, meet people and find out what else is out there.
I work in FE. the past few years uni applications have dwindled
, this year I have less that 1./3 wanting to apply. The press on loans and the reality if the debt, I can't honnestly persue them it's an investment on their career, because it's not.
The uni experience is part time work to survive, clubs and societies are expensive and students do not have time to run them..

Thanks everyone. I’m not these days if the type of career she’d be suited to required a degree. Socially I do worry that she could be lonely but as people have suggested you could go to uni at any age.

She doesn’t have a definitive plan but wants to look for work and apprenticeships and I’m supporting her with that though there’s not much out there at the moment that don’t want an almost immediate start. She’s not lazy so won’t doss about as she likes to work.

Let her make her own decision. I would say we expect kids in the UK to follow a certain path, have their life decided/figured it out when they are 15: GCSE, A levels, university, etc.

As long as she is working, she can decide to go for a course/apprenticeship, later on.

hey. I decided to go to college instead of uni and it is the BEST thing i ever did! i had the new experience of meeting new people and eventually going clubbing etc (once of age lol) and yet didnt have any of the debt! i went straight to work after college and its been fab!

3 of mine didn't you don't have to go

More and more young people don’t want to go. It’s ok. University isn’t going anywhere, and sometimes people do need time to learn more about themselves.
Best thing she can do is get a part time job. Start researching apprenticeships, keeping her mind open to different roles that she is unfamiliar with.

This is such a good advice. They are all different and have their own path.

I went to university and didn’t make any friends. Probably as I was working full time also. But either way it’s not a guarantee. If she is satisfied and working I can’t see any reason to worry about it. University is expensive and complicated and doesn’t suit everyone.

University is for any age. I actually think for most youngsters that it’s advisable to take at least a year out to learn who you are, work, save maybe travel a bit. Not wanting to apply at 18 is quite sensible but if at a later date they wish to it’s open to them, going and doing the wrong degree or worse dropping out is an expensive mistake

I'm 52 and not in touch with a single person from my undergraduate degree - and I am a pretty social person with good friends from pretty much all stages of life. So to me, the potential for the whole Peter's Friends 'friends for life' thing is a very poor reason to commit to something you otherwise don't want to do. It might be the time of your life, it might be an expensive and socially unexciting slog.

I think uni is good if you need to be trained in a profession. Health sciences, law, engineering, that kind of thing. Otherwise, don’t bother. Your daughter will make friends to socialise with if she takes up an alternative training route or apprenticeship.

Ask her to look at the Not Going To Uni website. It might give her some ideas as to what to do next.

I think you should only go to uni if you have a clear plan and need for it! Dd1 goes tomorrow and we will be subsidising her rent and living costs at £850 per month. That’s will full loan she can access. It may be she gets a degree through an apprenticeship.

I’m wondering how old your sil is - did she go even it was free and basically everyone did minimal work and drank lots? It’s not like that these days. Since people say school is the best days of your life, others say uni and the rest of us say the best came after when you’re in work and earning. Everyone is different. Let dd have space to find her way.

My SIL went to university in the states (she’s American) and came away with a lot of debt but still says it was absolutely worth it and is in touch with lots of the people she went with.

I think hands on learning is probably best but she doesn’t seem overly motivated to look for apprenticeships but that might improve once more start coming out (the local ones have a close date within the next month or so).

shell make friends via her work or training. I made some great friends from my first job. Or she joins a gym, joins a local girls who hike type fb group, etc. Dd who is a young adult has made friends by those sort of groups. If the town is so small that there isn’t such groups then she could start them? Or maybe she will get a job in a bigger city? She He might not stay local?

@ProjectFailScary Unemployment stats are higher amongst non grads than grads. Not knowing what career you want at 18 is a huge drawback to getting a career. It’s not easy to get a job and work your way up.

I was listening to a debate on Radio 4 this morning about education. One issue highlighted was poor apprenticeships and the very average degrees offered on some of them. Apprenticeships at degree level are like hens teeth and dc are being sold a pup to think they are as easy to attain as a university place. It’s just not the case. For some dc the breathing space in the first year of a degree allows for sussing out careers and how to work towards a good cv.

I work for a bank, yes they are closing branches, well done are but they are taking on staff. The majority of banking staff don't work in the branch, they are in the background. I have also just secured a role at another bank, they are definitely taking on staff 😂