Has you DS actually had fun at Oxbridge?

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I don’t often read about friends made, fun had or good experiences at Oxford or Cambridge. Pressurised environment is always mentioned and regret of not going to Durham, Bristol or Warwick etc. Does anyone have anything positive to share about their DCs experience.

Also
Have they managed to maintain old hobbies?
How have they coped with eating arrangements?

Did a negative turn out to be a positive?

My friend’s daughter is really enjoying herself. She’s from a state school background too

Not sure about hobbies or food as I don’t know her well enough

My DC is loving their Oxbridge experience! Friends were made on day 1, and the friendship group continues to grow. Over the breaks, DC's friends have been to our house and DC has maintained contact through chat and phone calls. Many of the friend group are in college together and have selected rooms in the same stairwell for the coming year. DC was not an outgoing individual during secondary school, but seems to be becoming more so.

DC maintained two hobbies and picked up a third at the Freshers Fair (a sport), and is now representing the university at the novice level. Additional friends were established through extracurriculars. Near exams, DC cut back on time spent on extracurriculars without issue.

Eating arrangements have been fine. The food in DC's college is okay and offered most, but not all, days. DC eats in the college dining hall when meals are offered and makes meals with friends when the dining hall is closed. The small kitchens are not great, but they're adequate.

Does DC experience pressure? Yes, but importantly, DC has time and outlets to relieve that pressure by being with friends and enjoying their hobbies. DC has strong organisational skills and can effectively plan their time for essay writing, tutorial preparation and longer-term needs.

I don't think DC could imagine themselves anywhere else. They are currently looking at master's programmes and want to stay at their current uni.

Not child but me - I loved it and made brilliant friends I still see 20 years later. It is what you make it!

From the things I read and hear (so anecdata!) there's a higher risk of finding the experience unenjoyable than at less traditional institutions but still plenty of people who do/did enjoy it.

I think kids should reflect on the vibes as well as the academic aspects carefully.

My cousin just graduated and she loved it. She got involved in a society for one of her interests, made loads of friends and has been all over the country pursuing that interest. Her parents went there too and did all sorts of extra-curricular sports and had a great time. They’re still very good friends with the friends they made there in the late 80s/early 90s.

I went to Cambridge and adored it. The best thing I ever did and made friends who are still some of my best friends 2 decades later.

worked hard, rowed, played music, plenty of time to do it all!

This describes DH too. His college friends are some of our closest friends (now with partners and children too). He had a much more solid social circle than I did at a non-Oxbridge university.

I loved it. Made friends for life, met DH, got dumped by someone else, danced and drank a lot, travelled, the learning experience was amazing and I found a new hobby that I kept up. It was also really stressful, but part off that was being a smart, maybe slightly autistic, young adult and the stress of growing up, which would have been similar anywhere.

DS partied hard at Cambridge! Has made lots of good friends and really enjoyed his time there.

I loved Cambridge, made a group of lifelong friends and did loads of sport (mainly netball and rowing). I do get the impression it's more pressurised now than it used to be when I was there because places are even more competitive.

I had a brilliant time! Made life-long friends and it pushed me to achieve in ways I will always be grateful for. It’s very work hard, play hard. It was 15yrs ago for me though so I know there’ll be differences now, but I think the collegiate structure is very special. State school background in case that’s relevant.

Did you go to Oxford or Cambridge?

knowing your school background is useful although I think home life and parents background and education is probably more important as lots of wealthy parents with with impressive education and professions send their children to state schools and vice versa.

My niece and nephew are absolutely loving it. They’ve met their first serious boy/girlfriend, best friends for life, huge range of opportunities and hobbies and travel.

Mine is applying shortly and I hope the same for her though of course it’s a long shot to get a place.

DH and I both went (not at same time, we didn’t meet there) and had time of our lives, made friends for life. I went to state school as do my kids.

collegiate structure and supervisions 1-2-1 teaching is so special. The environment is beautiful and inspiring.

I cannot see why anyone wouldn’t leap at the chance to go, to be honest!

I went to a trad, posh Oxford college from a sink estate and had a great time, and made friends I’m still close to 25 years on.

I was there doing sciences 20+ years ago but some things to reflect on:

• Yes, the workload is intense, but the opportunities are amazing in terms of teaching, access to latest research, which is stimulating in itself - one of my lecturers went on to win the Nobel. You make good course friends too through labs and practicals.

• Because it's intense, I think it can build stronger friendships, the "forged in fire" thing. My best friends are still from that time. Plus, the colleges give you an automatic community, especially the smaller ones - it's a good halfway house between school and a massive university if you're feeling nervous or are less naturally sociable.

• Students definitely had fun too! I was out almost all Thurs, Fri and Sat nights, and the colleges give you an extra layer of social things to do as well as clubs, departmental and external commercial stuff. You need good time management but it's by no means a monastery.

DD has just finished her first year. She has had a brilliant time. She's kept playing both her sports (one of the joys of the college system ks how easy it is to be involved in sport if you dont play to a high level), done some volunteering, been out a lot, and generally worked hard and played hard. She has loved being surrounded by really smart people. She mostly self caters, but has enjoyed the formal dinners etc on occasion.
We have got 6 of her Oxford friends staying here this weekend (we live by the sea!). They are lovely - funny, friendly, normal kids.
I think she is the sort of person who would have had fun anywhere tbh, but she feels like it has been a great choice for her.
(State school, from a fairly deprived coastal town.)

DH and I went to (met at) oxford. I had a bit of a mixed time, but i think that would have been the case anywhere and was more about my own internal stuff. DH loved it, still considers if the best time of his life. We both made some of our closest friends there. (I was also state school educated, first generation to go to uni etc, but from a family that valued and prioritised education.)

So much fun! I’ve got two at Oxford (from a very ordinary state school background). My eldest has just graduated after 4 amazing years and my daughter is just about to go into her second year. They’ve both worked incredibly hard but but have had a huge amount of fun as well and I’m so grateful for them having had this experience.

DS has not long graduated, state school. Loved every minute of his time at Oxford.

Oh, one bit of advice I would give is do a gap year first. The course load is high and it is pressured, even though often students impose that pressure on themselves. Doing a gap year beforehand gives wider life perspective and makes you better able to handle that pressure, along with the sports and socials as a relief valve. I didn't, and wish I had.

I went to Oxford. Home life was secure and supportive and my parents valued eduction, but we were not wealthy. Lived in a small house on a new-ish build estate, parents went to state schools etc. I had a full maintenance loan. Definitely a big mix of backgrounds there with some inevitable disparity, but I don’t remember that being a ‘thing’ in terms of my experience. For me personally it didn’t affect my friendships or sense of belonging. I think these things can vary from college to college though - they all have their own culture and vibe.

My DD absolutely loves it and there now doing E&M. State comp then state sixth form. She's very high energy and it's the first place that can keep up with her energy levels so she's much happier than she was as state comp, she also loved state sixth as she could work as well in job she loved. It's very full on during term time but that's perfect for her.

She does about 5 hours rowing every day which she started there which I don't think she would have done elsewhere since when I mentioned she should try it at 16 I got told I didn't know her well. Now she's just off to a 2 week all paid rowing regatta in China with tour of pandas etc representing Oxford. Also loves the balls and social side, traditions and beautiful old buildings. Her subject at her college is full of students from far wealthier backgrounds than ours, and we are comfortably off but some of these are the wealthiest people I have come across. But she gets on really well with them especially the boys. All of them row so they have that in common and they all go to rowing camps, Henley and other regattas, Balls together (she crashes, they buy tickets) and she organises a lot of it, coaches 3 teams and gets paid for it. She had a boyfriend at Bristol and he was night clubbing every night was loving it but very little work getting done and he said to her he regretted not applying to Oxford. I was glad she wasn't there as she would have been nightclubbing with him though if you have a more sensible child it's a great option.

I also loved Cambridge myself and came from a rural comp with very high unemployment rate, 10 percent did A levels, 5 percent of girls pregnant before 16, lots of fighting. Both found the academic staff at Cambridge and Oxford for Economics/ E&M incredibly kind and supportive, something I really appreciated after bad school experiences. The wealth of the universities and small groups contributed to that especially for quiet ones. And DD loves the free weekly giant posh doughnuts.

DD does seem to have more exams than I did at Cambridge, I had exams end of each year and no mocks, only finals counted. She has exams each term though only finals count. Everyone she knows loves it but one girl does get very anxious re exams. I only knew a couple who didn't love Cambridge and both those it was the wealth of other students but they kind of didn't give the wealthy ones a chance just assumed they were deliberately excluding them.

DD also got a week's free business school course with accommodation which is normally £5k a week and she loved that, meeting people from round the world and learning about drones, all food included and she came back with about 200 soaps, 200 shower gels etc as they told her to take as many as she liked and she took that literally. She does redistribute things here to families with nothing from her old company least.

At times possibly too much fun. He's gotten into rowing in a big way (having never rowed before uni) and there's a whole social life that goes with that, and he plays in a couple of bands so there's another whole social scene that goes with that. In between times a bit of work happens, so I'm told.