child isn't keen on attending Bsc Graduation, thoughts please?

[Offtheygo]

Hello,
my son isn't keen on attending his graduation, in a couple of weeks.

Nothing particularly wrong more like a can't be asked/not interested. He has had a great time while there, but all his friends are/were on other courses so not graduating at the same time,
he is expecting a first or a 2:1 but hasn't been at uni that often due to low contact hours so I don't think he feels particularly attached/grateful or connected to it especially now that he has moved back home, he is looking towards his next steps.
He is intending to do a master's while living at home from septembre so I guess there is another opportunity for graduation.

He is not big into pictures and ceremony generally.

We are not British and havent' been educated here so I guess I wondering if everyone actually attends and/or has anyone not attended theirs and regretted it ?

It's an overnight trip with hotel booking due to early start of the ceremony and distance which adds to the reluctance, as he doesn't feel it's worth the cost/time etc

thank you for your thoughts.

No big deal. I didn't attend mine and never felt I missed out.

No big deal at all. Very long dull day tbh

If his friends aren’t there, it takes the good out of it, I think. Maybe do something as a family to mark the day, a meal out or something, to acknowledge his achievement. But I don’t think missing the ceremony matters much

He can graduate in absentia and just be sent the certificate in the post.

Maybe go out for a meal or something as a celebration?

I went to my first graduation under duress and didn't even tell anyone that there was a ceremony for my second qualification to ensure I was not put under any pressure to attend. Some people go and enjoy it, some people go and endure it and some people don't go at all. It's a matter of personal choice.
Personally I found it all a lot of dull, pretentious nonsense and walking across a stage wearing a silly outfit did nothing for me. Not attending would have had zero impact on me. Other people obviously find it an enjoyable day. Your son is a grown up, leave him to make his own mind up.

Your son will graduate (i.e. he will be awarded his degree) whether or not he attends the ceremony. I wish I hadn't attended mine if I'm honest, but my parents expected it. Celebrate his achievement as a family instead!

I think most of the fun is doing it with your friends.

And not going is quite common, I’ve heard of it many times.

It's fine to go or not go so I would definitely respect his choice in this situation.
Book something celebratory close to home instead with his choice of guests?

I didn't go to mine and never regretted it.

Didn’t go to any of mine and life is just fine

No big deal i don't think, we graduated by subject so weren't necessarily with friends either but the ceremonies were all within a short space of time so we made a point of meeting up to go out for a meal to celebrate. My masters course was much smaller (less than 20 people) so we were much closer. It's just a ceremony and standing around for photos! We didn't even get our actual degree certificates on the day, they got shipped out in the post weeks later.

I went to my first—it was great fun and I was with my friends.

I skipped my second because I was taking the course as a means to an end and wasn’t there to have fun or make friends. If someone had pushed me to make it a big deal, I wouldn’t have been pleased.

Follow his lead—ask him how he wants to mark the occasion in another way—a fancy meal, or similar?

I didn’t go to my second. They’re long boring days

Mine was a bit of an anti-climax, a lot of standing around, boiling hot, ceremony went on forever, felt a bit awkward with family there TBH and I felt I'd moved on after being home for a few weeks at that point. It was nice seeing friends but most of mine had graduated the year before because I did a placement year..

My DS didn't feel strongly about going to his, similarly he had been at home for a couple of months by then and felt he'd moved on, most of his friends weren't graduating that year either. We went up the night before and had a nice meal in a pub then went home straight after drinks and nibbles at the end of the ceremony which luckily wasn't too long. I did feel very proud seeing him in his cap and gown and going up, I do think it's more for the parents TBH.

Respect your adult son's choice, it is pretty boring and a long day. He still gets his degree.

I never went to mine

I don’t blame him. Like @AgeingDoc mentioned I was one of the ones who had to endure it because my Mum wanted me to. We had a few rows about it.

It was slightly more bearable for me because two of my friends were also graduating at the same time. It is a long, boring day. Can’t imagine what it would be like without friends to talk to, to pass some of the time you’re waiting around.

DD is similar for similar reasons. She didn’t make friends on her course (through her hall instead) and the end has been a bit anticlimactic as most of her grade was assessed coursework and she knew she was getting a 2.1 before she even did her only two final exams.

Very different to when I went and more people graduated on the same day because the university was much smaller and it followed an intense finals and dissertation period.

However DD loves a photo op so is going even though she says it will be very weird as she won’t know anyone.

If he doesn't want to go he doesn't have to, he'll still get his degree. Wild horses would not have kept me from my graduation and will not keep me from the next one (doing a second degree). Its important to me and I would love a chance to have pictures with my husband this time around, this will be the second time we have graduated together.

The logistics make it difficult for my DD. Next year she’ll move out if her shared house and then a week or so later have to return for the ceremony? It’s a seven hour drive or five by train each way. Plus hotel. And £50 to hire the gown. She’s not loving her uni nor has many friends there but she is very involved with lots of activities, but I think she’ll also give it a miss.

I swerved my BSc graduation; it had a run time of 3 plus hours in the middle of a July heatwave. I don't regret it at all; I just got ready for the after party instead!

I did however attend my Masters graduation which was a simple 90 minutes and much more lowkey and enjoyable

I have endured sat through 4 graduations so far and they are pretty dull. If he doesn't want to go, but has already reserved tickets for you please could you ask him to let the university know so that other people can use the tickets.

I went to my graduation. It was a let down. The ceremony was boring and then everyone went off, so I went to lunch with my parents and then home, feeling a bit like I was missing out on celebrations others were having. I could have just as easily celebrated with a meal out with family.

I can’t see any reason he would regret skipping it. If he wants, you can celebrate at home

I wasn’t that keen to go to mine but my parents convinced me, it was actually a lovely day in the end.