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Higher education

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Daughter does not want to return to University

80 replies

Rina1971 · 27/09/2025 06:59

Dropped daughter at Uni last weekend she dismissed us so all good. Day 2 lots of tears and so it went on. By day 4 she was unwell but said she was going out and an hour later another call to say could I talk to her till she slept. At 3am she calls clearly unwell probably Freshers flu, chatted till she settled. Next morning she is not online without fail she is usually up by 9am but nothing. I panic call security in her halls and they do a welfare check finding her with a high temp and delirious. After a check at medical centre I bring her home, she cried and cried calling me "Mummy" and wanting hugs. We talk a lot and she tells me she cannot return, that she hates being away and just wants to be home. To give some context she cried for two weeks before Uni asking nto stay but I persuaded her to try. Now I am so conflicted she is asking my advice but clearly it is her decision. She has missed swim trials which was so important to her but is clearly too unwell.

OP posts:
RainySundayAfternoon · 05/10/2025 10:53

@Rina1971 That’s so great to hear! She’s found what’s right for her, after being brave enough to admit the other uni didn’t feel right. Well done all of you 😊

wellywonker · 05/10/2025 11:21

Couldn’t not comment. This was my DD 3 weeks ago. She has now transferred to a local Uni and is so much happier. She has come to the conclusion that living away from home is not for her at the moment - she likes her home comforts too much. It’s not for everyone and it may not be right for your daughter at this time. Sending hugs to you both - I know how stressful it can be.

namechangedohmy · 05/10/2025 11:24

Take a year out and get her counselling and work on improving her resilience but via a gradual process. Been there and I promise it gets better.

namechangedohmy · 05/10/2025 11:26

Apologies, didn’t see your update Op. glad it’s worked out.

spiderlight · 05/10/2025 15:03

Really glad she's settled - that sounds like a perfect outcome.

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