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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

DS/DD off to Uni? - Empty nest support thread

999 replies

rustybear · 31/08/2006 20:09

DS is off to Warwick in October - anyone else feeling old? Or are there any old hands with advice ?

OP posts:
mumeeee · 17/11/2009 11:13

Feeling a bit sad to day, DD2 isn't very well she's had a sore throat and a bad chest for the past few days and I just want to be there for her. She did say last night she's feeling a bit beter. Also I'm worried she's not eating properly.Oh well she'll be home for Christmas and I can fed her up again.

fuzzywuzzywombat · 21/11/2009 17:15

My DD went to a uni only an hour away on the train, Ive been to settle her in, and visited once and shes been home once also, b/f and best/f visit her, shes settled in to lovely accomdation gets on with her work, has made new good friends, has 2 part time jobs, still awaiting student loan so all in all its all pretty normal and happy....apart from the fact im absolutley devastated without her, i cry every day, its a supreme effort to do thing (but i do)and i pretty well know im depressed. Im so hugely proud of her and dont want my feelings to spoil her experience but its a massive strain hiding this. Do other Mums feel this? Ive tried to speak to other mums at work etc and they just seem so pleased to get rid of their children, or in another 6 months time will my feelings have all gone away?

mumeeee · 21/11/2009 23:05

You do get used to it. DD1 went to uni here in our own town. So although she was in Halls I did see her quite ofeten but did miss her a lot. She's now married and I felt very lost after her and her Dh went to live in London.But that's antother story,
DD2 is about 3 hours drive awy and whie I miss her a lot. I don't often feelsad. Only at times like the othr day when I knew she was ill and I couldn't help her. I've spoken to her since and she is fine now. She'll be coming home in a few weks for Christmas and I'll ebjoy having her home. But I know she is growing up and needs to get on with her life. Having DD3 still at home helps.

Milliways · 22/11/2009 00:04

DD is home this weekend as we had her school A level cert night last night. First time we have seen her since she left at the start of term.

She was desparate to find "snacks" in the fridge that could be raided

DS & her have been giggling away together - it's lovely.

Oh, and I got her a load of tinned food to take back with her.

mumeeee · 22/11/2009 23:42

Hi Milliways. Has your DD gone back now? I gave DD2 a goody back of food to take back with her when she was here in October. She texted me last night in answer to something that I'd texted her, She finished with I can't wait to se you at Christmas and I love you lots. That bought a tear to my eye.

Milliways · 23/11/2009 17:12

Aah!

Yes, she went back Sunday pm, and met a friend (by pure chance) at Kings Cross so they did the last leg together.

She is so looking forward to having some real relaxation at Christmas - we can all spoil her then.

webwiz · 09/12/2009 08:52

Are all the DCs due back soon - DD1 finishes on friday but I'm not picking her up till next tuesday as I think she is going to do a bit of end of term partying. She was home last weekend for her Grandfather's 70th birthday party and she has transformed into a helpful, reasonable person. She is sooo different that we have started referring to her as "the imposter" (you wouldn't believe what a pain she was just before she went away!). She's looking forward to having a rest at Christmas especially as she has a busy end of term with exams and assessments.

Milliways · 09/12/2009 18:53

DD finished last week but has a job at the Uni helping out with the students staying over for interviews for next years intake, so comes home next Wed.

She has been set a pile of work to get through in the hols though.

mumeeee · 12/12/2009 12:03

DD2 finished on Friday. She is coming homw tomorrow by coach as we are unable to pick her up. We will be taking her back but I'm not sure when her term starts again.
I'm really looking forward to seeing her. It was her 20th birthday on Wednesday (9th) and the first one she has had away from home. I sent her a small parcel ( her proper present is here) and phoned her on her Birthday, She was out with friends and seemed to be having a good time.

mumeeee · 15/01/2010 13:10

Took DD2 back to uni on Saturday after having her home for a month. Felt sad leaving her again, but I konw she's happy there and has made lots of friends. Has anyone elses DC's gone back?

webwiz · 17/01/2010 15:36

DD1 went back on the 7th so she could get herself sorted out before term started on the 11th. The drive took a bit extra because of all the snow but she was keen to get back and see friends. Its been easier to get used to her being away than it was in September and this will be a shorter term so Easter will be here in no time

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 17/01/2010 15:43

ds2 went back last Saturday. He seemed to have more stuff than when he went in September. I loved having him home but worried more about him when he was here then when he's away. At least his student loan money turned up on time this term.

Milliways · 17/01/2010 20:24

DD also went back last Saturday, and has just had her first birthday away from home, which is odd. She took a hue cake & all her presents with her as the post hadn't been working around here due to the snow - akthough there was a lot less of the white stuff at Uni end.

She has also got a job abroad for the whole summer, so that will be even stranger

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 17/01/2010 21:50

What will she be doing Milliways?

RustyBear · 17/01/2010 21:57

Love the way this thread keeps getting revived - can't believe it's nearly 3.5 years since I started it!

DD went back last week, we did the trip to Exeter & back in one day because it was supposed to snow again on Sunday & then it never did.

She's already sorted out next year's house - it was booked by the end of November - it seems to get earlier & earlier!

OP posts:
Milliways · 17/01/2010 22:12

Hello Rusty. DD is talking about sharing a house next year! Probably more fun if you all get on.

This thread will be going when your DD has graduated and got a Masters

Saggars, she will be working on a campsite (yet to be determined) as receptionist / kids club person.

RustyBear · 17/01/2010 22:23

Well, DD had to take a risk on who she shared with for this year - she'd only known them a couple of months before they had to start house hunting! They do seem to get on OK - though next year she'll be in a house with just 4 girls, instead of 4 guys & 2 girls, so it won't always be either football or shooting games on the TV...

OP posts:
Milliways · 17/01/2010 22:39

Ah, DD has an advantage then in that the houses are owned by her all girls college

mumeeee · 19/01/2010 13:00

DD2 has only been back at uni for 10 days. But my Father in law died on Sunday,we let her know that evening, She seemed fine,but last night we got a phone call from her asking if she could come home. She sounded very upset. We said of course she could come home. So she's coming home this evening for a few days. She's brining some uni work to do and has asked her friends to let her Tutors know. It's nice to know she still wants her Mum and Dad and also that she won't let her work get to gfar behind.

mumof3teens · 19/01/2010 19:48

That is sad mumeee. DS1 & DS2 went back to uni on 3rd Jan DS1 is in the middle of his finals. Cannot believe it. He will finish them on Friday and is then home for a week before he goes on 2 month elective. Hate it when they go back, but soon get back in the swing again. DS3 just finished AS exams.

mumeeee · 24/01/2010 23:17

Well DD2 went back to uni again today,she has assesments this week. She is looking and feeling much beter than when she came homeon Tuesdat. She is coming back next wekend for the funeral. It's in Birmingham and she wants to travel up with us,

mumeeee · 15/04/2010 12:16

Well DD2 has just left to go back to uni after her Easter Break. She has only been home for 12 days this time and has been out quite a lot catching up with old freinds. always feel strange after she's left but I know she is doing wel at uni and has made Loads of new friends. I can't believe she has nearly finished her first year at uni it only seems like 5 minutes ago we were leaving her for the first time.
She is now looking to Share a house with a group of friends nex year. They have got one house in mind which is right near her campus. They are viewing it this week. The only trouble is they will have to pay rent for the summer if they want it. They do really want it so if they do get it she probably won't be home much in the Summer.
How is everyone else feeling noe thieir Dc's are coming to the end of thier first year?

webwiz · 15/04/2010 16:27

I can't believe these first two terms are over with! DD1 has been home for the full four weeks over Easter as she wanted to have a rest (she was ill with mumps for the first week) and get on with some revision for her exams which start in a couple of weeks. She's upstairs packing at the moment (I can hear very loud thudding music coming from her bedroom) as I'm taking her back tomorrow.

She already has a house sorted out for next year and annoyingly the rental period starts on August 1st even the term doesn't start till the end of September. They wanted the house though so have gone for it anyway.

We are just starting the whole university process with DD2 who's in year 12 now. I can't imagine how quiet it will be without them both - I won't have an empty nest though as DS(13)will still be at home. I've told him as he'll be the only one at home I'll be able to shower him with love, he looked horrified

mumeeee · 16/04/2010 00:02

DD2 has only had 2 weeks off for Easter. But she did have a reading week in February. Which meant she didn't have to go into uni.
She is a bit late sorting out a house but they have first refusal on the one I mentioned. Her group of friends just need to talk about it and find out if they are all happy to pay rent for the summer.

pippop1 · 12/05/2010 16:31

I sometimes send my DS an online shopping order from one of the supermarkets. It's really appreciated and the delivery charge is usually free if you spend over a certain amount or choose a strange time of day. If not it's not too much and you can send them heavy stuff (such as washing powder and toilet rolls) that are difficult to carry without a car. If you send cider/beer you will be v popular and it's better than sending money as you know they will eat well.