Cancer Support Thread 94 - Sweetness and light - the two noblest of things.

[LemonDrizzle10]

@tilllly and Daisy.

All of this.

Take your time @Dogfood Do you feel you can share a little if your diagnosis with us? Not a problem if not.

@Enigma52 I have thyroid cancer.

Okay, thanks for sharing. Do you know what your next step is appointment wise?

@Enigma52 I've had one of my thyroids removed. Biopsy revealed cancer. CT scan booked to check if spread. I'll have other thyroid out (same op again) then several radioactive iodine drinks treatment to kill cells

@Dogfood you can do this. One step at a time.

And @Dogfood you will find you are stronger than you ever thought. Don't be afraid to get up, change the bed and sort your house. I love a good clear out me ( DP loves to hang onto stuff, just in case!)

Dh has taken the food shop in today for the first time. He had no choice as I have simply not got up. I'm still wallowing in bed in self pity/disbelief/mental pain. Not eaten for 24 hours. Can smell he's cooked himself a breakfast. My DM will be over soon. I'll have to get up then. I've messaged my surgery to request dizapam/sleeping tablets/ anything to get me through the anxiety/mental pain. I can see the sun peering through a small gap in the curtains. It looks nice out. Usually, I'd be in the sun right now. But instead I'm laying staring at the ceiling

@enigma52 ty xxxx

@Enigma52 I want to get up, I really do. My head hurts from crying last night. I was screaming and wailing. I'm hungry. I can hear people going on about their day. None of them have cancer as they enjoy the sunshine. I've said only 2 words to DH today. He thinks I'm staying in bed to rest. Im staying in bed as there is no longer any point to getting up. Nothing matters any more. But I want to be able to get up

Oh @Dogfood we get it, we’ve been there. There is always someone a few clicks away on this thread to listen. And support too for dh if he’s struggling via Macmillan etc. you are not alone.

@thesandwich ty xxx

@Dogfood you are scared, angry and confused as to why this is happening . You are reacting normally to a totally abnormal situation, remember this.

Things will matter in a day or two, I promise. But right now, your mind is clouded with this news. When is DM due ?

Dm due around 1-2pm.. I've managed to get dressed, put sheets in the wash and tidy the kitchen. Made myself a cuppa. I've asked DM not to talk about it when she arrives as DC don't know.

Well done @Dogfood super proud of you. One step at a time, okay?

I’m getting ready for. Bruce Springsteen. With a Picc line with the chemo on getting washed is going to be a challenge

Well done @Dogfood .
@EachandEveryone oh wow! Enjoy! Saw him live in the 80s. Amazing.

Ooh @EachandEveryone what a treat! You’ll get pretty sweaty jumping around to the Boss so a cursory wash now won’t make any difference.
I’m packing to go to the South of France to watch the Olympics. It’s 34 degrees there! Eek. I’ve got a swollen arm and leg already so am expecting trouble but it will be worth it!

@Dogfood well done. Take it hour by hour and don’t look ahead. You are doing fine!

Hugs @eachandeveryone hope you enjoy the convert x

Ty @enigma52

Why do i feel so very embarrassed and ashamed to say I have cancer ?

@Dogfood because it's such a bloody shock. Your world has been tipped upside down, whilst everyone else is merrily getting on with life. But, your inner core strength is going to be greater than its ever been, trust me, I know x

*concert not convert

I really don't want anyone at work knowing, other than the boss. My team will work it out as I'm going to be having time off. I've already had 2 weeks off for the first operation.

I don't want to be a Cancer patient

I don't want to feel ashamed to have this awful secret. But I do.

Please help me. I'm crumbling.

On Monday I have a scan to see if it's spread.

Breathe.. you are going to be okay. You've nothing to be ashamed of. You don't have to be a " cancer patient". Don't let it define you.

I've just read that I've got to have dye put inside me for the scan next week. Either by drink or IV. The scan could take up to an hour and 15 mins. I have huge anxiety in situations where I can't just get up and leave, the scan will be absolutely horrific. Its Panic attack territory which will mean an overwhelming urge to pee (huge side effect of panic/anxiety for me). I can't go. I just cannot do it. Its one of the worst situations I could be put in.

What the hell do I do ?

It's dye contrast, to highlight any further areas of concern. Usually they inject the dye half way through the scan via IV. It often gives a funny sensation (like you are peeing, but you are not!)

You know you must go, so I think given how anxious you are, ask the GP for something to relax you. Maybe @catmomof3 could share what she found helpful? What day is the scan?

Also, tell the medics beforehand, how anxious you are. They are used to working with anxious people and will help put you at ease.