TAMOXIFEN**33**

[MaryAnnSingleton]

new thread - bring the trolley over here....

Evening All

Welcome Sparkle
Ask anything you want .
You may have gathered by now that NOTHING is off limits here !

Oh Shiite , lost my train of thought now ...

Have best of Brian Ferry/Roxy Music on TAPE CASSETTE !!!

PenPerson,we are planning a large life change involving change of jobs and location. dh is currently doing a very long commute which does him or the rest of the family no good. I want to be closer to the family members who showed real support through all the bc business. Sadly, my father died shortly before Christmas so it is a big regret we didn't do the move a long time ago. In some ways it feels like running away from the troubles of the last year and we maybe mad to do it now. In other ways it gives us a light at the end of a very black tunnel.

Good-luck to anyone with appointments today & too Sparkle and Corrong the past year has not been nice with all the treatment but you do get through it.

Crawls on before course for . Had worst night with pain - must be to do with over doing it at work (prob computer). Can sauron help?

I found the bottle fairy worked a treat with my eldest at 3 . She was reluctant to drop the last feed (I know it's slightly different to bf but she still liked the idea of it for comfort). Can you try talking to her about being big girl as copthall suggests and then produce some lovely gift .

Morning all. Bugger to welcome you on here sparkle
I tried to update last night but fell asleep before reading everything :(

Anyway saw another surgeon yesterday and everything is normal. Lumps I was worrying about are edge of muscle and bone that have appeared from under a layer of blubber
Was a bit emo so walked part of the way back to work. Remembered last year when talked to lovely friend after check up which set me off.
Anyway must dash - big city today on a course.

excellent news jane !
poor gig - am sure Sauron magic can be applied.

That's great Jane , I love a bit of good news !

1in8 good for you and DH to be making plans like that !

Well, last night she was actually more ok with not nursing than I thought she'd be. 2 minutes of very emphatic resistance then sleep. I decided to try cold turkey as I thought anything else would be confusing. We haven't talked about presents yet, but grandma is here so lots of distraction.

Sorry you've had to join the club sparkle - but these girls are lovely - although you not think so when you find that all that cake eating and wine drinking plays havoc with your waist line!

Finally got my new glasses - only waited five, or was it six weeks? Feel very much like the new girl in glasses as they are my first varifocal, and they are taking a bit of getting used to!

Is there a pic, snails?

New specs always make me feel tall and I'm only 5'1

Presents will be all you can talk about when she gets idea of it sparkle- big gig was all but pushing me out the door as came to associate hospital trips with presents . But glad nursing weaning is going ok.

Yes we want a new specs photo.

Shoulder a bit better as saw physio and am more drugged than lance Armstrong. Course was very good - was about anxiety and emotional stuff today.

Lots of good advice (mindfulness was stressed) from guy running it. He was suggesting breathing technique (5 secs in thru nose and same out thru mouth - need to do it for at least a minute and practice but is proved to help anxiety attacks).

Also had this idea of tapping your middle finger and humming to clear your mind when you cant sleep as helps focus mind so easier to switch off. Said the sleeplessness and feeling most shitty at silly o clock. Also said that its most abnormal not to feel at your worst then so trying to relax and sleep is a good tip.

Was nice to share experiences and stories except for one person who reckoned she felt ok and never worried about cancer and was it normal to feel like this. Obviously I am paraphrasing a bit but I did about this as she clearly hadn't got the bit where dr said to try to be tactful about what you say (was quite clear that she was about the only one In the room who fear of recurrence was not an issue).

But All in good- next week is about food and diet. I am allowed to ask questions so if anyone has any do let me know as can pass them on.

It's the weekend! Is it too early for a ?
gig so if she is so sorted, why is she on the course???

Mmmm food.

Didn't happen to be a course on dealing with pain and phantom pain was it Gig ?
Cos if it were , my bil and sil were on it today !

Last thing HND said to me was " don't you go on mumsnet and blame me for getting you drunk again"
Guess what ........... ?

Hnd you naughty woman -stop pouring into topsy.

Was general course on living well that didn't really cover pain today (and you are right jchoc that wouldn't be there if so together).

Would have been useful if it did as up again waiting for pain killers to kick in. I swear some of it is habit now when I wake up but seeing dr again on Monday so will tweak prescription more. I suppose good news is pain was bearable in day - it's night that is horrid.

Morning all

Blimey, this working business does so get in the way of catching up on everything. Been rather hectic getting ready for next week - have got lesson observation on Wednesday and World Book Day on Thursday so madly trying to get everything ready. Everything needs overplanning with my class, so they don't have a moment to get silly!

Amusing exchange overheard outside my classroom -
child 1: J and D (2 children in my class) kissed. . . on the LIPS!
Child 2: yes, s-e-x, s-e-x!
Child 3: yeah, that's what kissing is. . .

Hilarious. . .

Question - how can I subtly ask my counsellor how many more sessions he thinks I need, without it being awkward? Or is there no easy way? I am paying for 5 sessions at a time at the moment, because I don't want to be worrying about having cash every week, and have a couple more left before I need to give him some more money. I don't know how to bring it up. It;s going really well and I really think it is helping, but I know that I could get really reliant on him and end up going for months, which obviously becomes rather expensive! Any thoughts, oh wise ones?

coorong dx sounds manageable? I was diagnosed with 2.4cm grade 3 in January 2012 and I am still upright and breathing. Stick with us, and ask anything - we will inevitably know the answer!

pen looking forward to meeting on Tuesday (me and pen is doing lunch) Glad you liked your oncologist - I have heard pretty good things about him locally. One node - good news!

gracie your boss sounds great - glad to hear phased return to work is in place. Hope you're doing OK? How's the red patch?#

ONEINEIGHT ! Chemo buddy! good to see you! Sorry to hear about ds - poor lad. But good to have finished the Herceptin. Hope you are all doing OK x x x x

topsy I am on Trazadone - an AD with sedative effects and I love it. Apparently I am on enough to fell a horse quite a high dose, but I was doing exactly the same as you and only getting a few hours a night. I have been on it nearly a year now, and sleeping really well.

Ashokan welcome back to us!

sparkle sorry you have to join us, but we know pretty much all there is to know about everything, so ask away.

HND tipsy with topsy? Again?!!

Hope people got nice plans for the weekend? DS won a WHSmiths voucher for Player of the Month at football training so going into town to spend it this afternoon. May possibly have had something in my eye on the sideline when he was awarded it. . . it was very windy, maybe that's why my eyes were watering a teeny bit. . .

Love to you all x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

arf @ your children ned !
I think it's fine to bring up the tapering off of sessions in your session - just say you feel awkward mentioning it but I think it's a good sign to be able to feel you can finish them (and you could always go back for a top up if you felt it would help I'm sure) I spent years seeing a very expensive psychotherapist (it was very strict analysis in fact) and felt unable to prise myself away - huge transference had gone on and I was totally attached to him.It ended thankfully by his relocating to Australia (very extreme !)
Not only has my credit card been defrauded but also my current account -wail !! but both credit card people and bank are on to it.

thank you thank you for the warm welcome.

Just needed to drop in - I thought I'd look up some cancer blogs as they're a format I've enjoyed before. The first 4 were by people who had either died or were dying.

F*ck. I was not ready for that.

Sparkle- I avoid google or website (including even macmillan) as they depress the hell out of me for that sort of reason . Stay here - It is safer.

As the stats guru always says (our very own amber light), most info on net is very out of date (or just not there- dr google has no oncology qualifications).

Also the net (which I realise sounds a bit rich) is a bit of a magnet for the mad and desperate stories. You rarely get the I am not doing too badly type thing as opposed to the I am desperate , as generally those people don't feel a need to/hang out much in the net forums. You can apply the same logic here (you don't get many happy relationship or ttc stories on those boards).

You are in treatment now , doing something about your bc- the odds are definitely moving in your favour.

Ned- I echo mas advice (which is a bit rich as I am still with my therapist 5 years on). But counsellors are different as they are meant to be an aide as you need them rather than something deeper and more long term like psycho therapy. Maybe just phrase it as you have x number of money for sessions so can you agree a plan for what to cover.

- I had to put these in as big gig doesn't understand why I have no pictures in my post so she chose them.

Whoops sparkle. Thing is as gig says blogs are self selecting. The majority of people have treatment and go back to work and don't have time to blog - if they did it would be really boring. I work with someone who had bc 20 years ago. Thing is I didn't know until my dx when she told me. Its 18 months since my dx and apart from a bit of paranoia and being less risk averse than I was, things are pretty much ok. My mil also is 10 years on from a mastectomy and doing well. Odds for bc are improving all the time. Natural to have a wobble at diagnosis but treatment is doable and you will come out the other side. ((Xx))

Hi,
Ned - Due to my HR role I am in contact with our in-house counsellors at work and it is no problem for the individual to raise the issue of how many more sessions might be required/helpful.

Sparkle - just want to say hello and that I very much agree with jcchoc and Gigs - I'm on of those women who've had BC and gone back to work so have hardly any time to come on here - so take heart as there are lots of us! I found this thread a wonderful support during 2010 and just pop in occasionally now to say hello and that I'm thinking of you.Stay away from the Internet and work with what you actually know about your own individual situation - its hard as the information comes out a little at a time as you move through tests, op etc, but honestly, if you can, just deal with what you know and try not to let your brain whizz round all the unknwons as I found you just can't continue like that.

MAS - very sorry about your fraud - hope the bank is helpful. DH loved his card! I don't like to think of the (albeit small) amount of money I have paid for it being nicked!!
x

Sparkle, get away from blogs and web forums!! And google ye not. Your odds of doom are 1 in 100. That's the current fact. Be in really good contact with lovely people. Take vit D. Carry on with life as normal as you can and have all the fun you can fir in. Your body will do the rest. All that is pure science.
Hi everyone else :-)

well said amber -wise woman.
SR so pleased he liked the picture hope he had a very lovely birthday.

Thank you ladies (?), that was exactly what I needed to hear. I found a couple that looked funny and positive but ignored the rest. I also found some of the titles amusing (f?ckoffcancer, cancer is hilarious, titsup) and plan to use some seriously dark humour to get me through. Because I do intend to get through.

Good thoughts to anyone out there.

Sparkles, I don't do hugs or hand holding but here's a to cheer you. My family live in Australia - and the few in laws we have are at the other end of the country so, yes we don't have family locally. I do have what I call cup,of tea friends, the sort you can pop in for a cup of tea without ringing first, and I've told most of them what's going on so I think they're all ready and able to help entertain the children if needed. That said, we're not posh or rich, but we have a spare bedroom, so last year got an au pair. She gets the girls to school each morning and collects them afterwards, entertaind them etc. I think that will make life easiest for us - the whole school run (they walk to school) thing being managed.

Biggest concern is that I'm in the middle of a PGCE and it looks like my op will be in the middle of my second teaching block. I failed last year (for various reasons) and I hope that with four weeks off following a mx / reconstruction I'll be able to complete this. Any teachers out there think I'm dreaming?

P.s. lovely to see the sun out, that's the one I miss having grown up in the outback