**24TH** TAMOXIFEN thread !

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we go...

MAS I know what you mean. All of this has really brought forward thoughts of the things that have been holding me back but that I haven't dealt with properly. I have less patience for them. Before I wrestled all the time about whether I was right to feel the way I do about a lot if stuff and let people bully me into forgiveness. Now I'm starting to see that the ones who deserve my trust the least seem to have to ask for it the most. If I could really trust them, they wouldn't need to keep asking me to. I need to make a lot if changes after all of this is over.

Very well done in illustrating the book. :-)

Well done in managing to illustrate a book and go through treatment, I think that's amazing.

Autumn, they will almost certainly have a plan for you. I hope it goes well.

Blogging is great, I have one - are we allowed to share our links? Mine is nibblesandnipples.co.uk.

If the above post gets deleted, it's because I posted my blog link and not because I said anything naughty, honest.

If it's still there, well... Then this post is redundant, carry on.

you are allowed to link to blogs bubble -will go and find it...I'll link to mine...
It sounded a bit boasty -the illustrating a book during rads- it wasn't meant to be- it's just that I am self employed and mustn't turn work down ! It was good for me to keep going though and have something to work on.

foud it bubble and am now following you !
mine is here obsessiveillustrator.wordpress.com/2012/05/23/observations-and-the-joys-of-lettering-18/

Was thinking of starting a blog. Do you recommend that site you use mas.

And completely agree dx brings out your demons. I cannot recommend therapy or counselling highly enough.

autumn candle lit for you.

Will be back later to celebrate no more rads

yes, it seems pretty good and simple to post on gig
Hooray for final rads today- will put something nice for you on the trolley !

Morning ladies. I hope that you are all well. Thank you gig for the candle. Oh Christ. I don't want to go. Coffee for couirage

Thank you so much everyone.

I'll read those blogs when I get back!! Looking forward to it! x

Thinking of you right now, Autumn. You must be sitting in a corridor somewhere waiting for your consult. Will keep everything crossed for you.

Gig, last rads !! We should celebrate. Might bake a cake. Any requests? Was thinking a lemon sponge on a summer day might go down well.

Bubble, hope your team call today with wound advice. btw, you are the only other person I've ever heard of who is allergic to Aqueous cream. Me too. My lot said they'd never met anyone before, so we're unique. Will go read your blog later. Thanks for sharing.

Ned how are you today?? Hope feeling a bit better and more energised.

And Snoopy, how's day 2 feel?? Hope you got lots of sleep and are feeling not too icky.

Waving to all others. Have an extraordinary amount of work to do. Plus will have to dash out in a bit, as DS just reminded me that he can take a cake in for his classmates tomorrow, and that no he doesn't want one knocked up baked by me. It has to be a chocolate one from M&S.

The Consultant , she says I can go home !
Just have to wait for drugs and GP and district nurses letters .
Will write more when I get home

Hip Hip for Topsy. That's brilliant. Hope the pharmacy bring your drugs soon. xx

Such a lot of posts to catch up with ! - so I won't attempt to answer them all, just say hi and do some funky old lady waving to everyone

Topsy - hurray for going home, - will you remember what your house looks like? - take things slowly for goodness sake, lying on sofa, scoffing nice things and watching Tom Jones on youtube is all that is allowed. (Did you see my link to Tom in action a few days ago? - that man can DANCE!)

jane - well done on getting outfits for DD, TKMaxx is brilliant for occasion wear, I hope DD has a good time.

snoopy, well done on getting first chemo out of the way, and Ned hope the injections improve things a bit (I always started mine the second day after chemo, but they were trialling them then so maybe it's changed)

Autumn - will be thinking of you today, good luck, candle lit here too xx

Bubble - hello nice to see you, but sorry you have had to go through all this BC business, and at such a young age - it must have been a big shock to get your diagnosis. But it's great you are through the majority of your treatment, and also that you had no spread to lymph nodes - excellent
Regarding the sore patch of skin definitely ask for a special dressing when they phone you, - it will stop your bra rubbing. Also someone on here recommended a patch of silk in your bra over the sore place is supposed to be good, it was a special kind of silk, - sorry that's not very helpful as I can't remember the name of it, but I'm hoping someone else can!

Love to everyone else, Sometimes you will be towering over me now that you are a giant. i thought I was 5'2" but last time at the hospital they measured me and apparently I'm five foot one and a half - which of course means I'm also fatter than I thought I was

love to all xx

Congrats on scan snoopy. Bubble-the thing I found most help post rads was to blow a cold hairdryer on the area under the boob for a few minutes every now and then. It must be a proper cold setting though. If you haven't got one then a fan ( even a little hand held one) works as well. I used to use those panty liners with silk to protect from bra band.

Hooray for topsy - double celebration for gig & topsy with smee's lemon cake -yum !!

Congrats. on no more rads Gig

lemon sponge sounds excellent Smee, put me down for a slice (or three)

Better watch it Kurri, between us we'll scoff the whole cake.

Hello greylady. How are you now?

MAS, how was the concert last night??

*smee feel ok thanks very weary this monring and Mum came over an made prridge for me and felt much better after that. I am so lucky to have a super fit 76yr old mum next door. Had a shallow bath but have to go down hosp this after noon to get picc dressing sorted as think i maybe lent on it too much last night and bleeding a bit.

Didn't go to picnic last night as starting to feel queasey and then felt teribly sick until next lot of anti sick tabs so took a Lorazapam to help with sicknes with it worked but will ask for bit more down hosp today.

There are v good round here as they have managed to get district nurse to come one a week to change dressings.

Hope everyone ok today, not so much sun but lovely and warm. x

It's a parapharyngeal space tumour. Fancy talk for neck tumour. It's grown into my face too. They did a fine needle biopsy and I've to go back next week to see the results and he'll tell me if he can take it out or not. I saw my CT. It is HUGE!

They said that the results of the biopsy will deopend wether or not they can remove it but I read about this tumour and I know that benign one can become cancerous if left to grow over long periods so I'm going to ask them to assuage my concern with that if it is benigb. It should be. 805 of these tumours are and I am only 28. Thinking positive!!

Snoopy - sorry you are feeling sick and weary, - def. ask the hospital for more anti sicks. I was told to make sure I took my anti sicks before I actually felt sick, - in anticipation of feeling sick IYKWIM.

It's great that you have your mum next door, she will be a huge help to you

Snoopy take it easy and Hope sickness eases a bit.

Topsy that you are on way home... Didn't Tom do a song about it [[

r]]

Autumn - sounds like getting some answers but hope that biopsy etc can be done quickly so you get reassurance . Did they say anything about helping you with your discomfort?

Rads finished- fingers crossed that my sunburn doesn't get any worse .

yay for no more rads gig!!! That must be a huge relief! Hope you get relief from the sunburn too!

Poor snoopy (hugs) Hope you feel better soon.

The consultant said that there is nothing they can do to make it more managable except for codiene, which I feel I have been given too much of. It diesn't even help anymore. It feels like the tumour is trying to push my ear out and it causes pressure behind my right eye which I worry about because it's my only good eye. The other is blind. I do hope that all of this is considered when deciding wether or not to operate because, even if benign, it's still massive! benign just means non cancerous not unproblematic. I think they should use a different word because benign means harmless and i don't feel unharmed.

They did the biopsy at the clinic today. results for that next Thursday.

Autumn - x-posted, - that sounds so painful. I hope they get back to you very soon with some answers and a plan for treatment, can you ask you GP for something stronger for the pain? Codeine sounds a bit feeble for dealing with it

And yes you are absolutely right about the word benign - nothing growing in your body that shouldn't be there is 'benign' - that makes it sound like a good thing!! , and in a confined area it's going to be hugely painful, - so sorry for you having to put up with this

Completely agree with kurri on benign- as you aren't exactly symptom free!

And I would be wary about dr google- its usually out of date and quite often musings of the desperate or The mad. Your dr probably better placed to help.

I'm going to phone my doctor just now. I have a couple of questions that I forgot to ask anyway.

OK, staying away from google :)