**24TH** TAMOXIFEN thread !

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we go...

Yes, google thee not!

I'm here, sort of. Week from hell. Just about to go to have portacath thingy removed under local. Not looking forward to the sensory hell that involves for this particular small aspie, but hey ho.

Hugs/ all round.

Yay gig for end of rads! Take care of that sunburn!

snoopy take it easy, my love. Listen to your body, eat what you fancy and take your anti sickness meds. kurri is right - Definitely easier to keep under control in advance, rather than taking more meds if you start to feel sick. Glad your mum is on hand to help out.

smee at DS not trusting your baking! Perhaps M&S an easier option. . .

topsy so pleased to hear you have been released. Take it easy and eat cake

MAS great video on FB - hope T enjoyed performing!

autumn getting more information about what you have is positive. Just take it easy on Google - its very easy to get freaked out by too much out of date info.

kurri had first injection this morning, and doing ok so far. I think the problem last time was that I didn't move around enough cos feeling crap at home and then in hospital bed, so am trying to keep mobile, even if I don't really feel like it. Just very tired and drained. and cake anyone?

Probably missed loads of others news, sorry. Waves and big hugs to all x x x

X post amber take it easy. Sorry to hear your week proving stressful. Good luck for the portacath removal. Hope it goes OK. on for you x x

nabs and cake from Ned. Think your theory on getting out and about might really help. I know it did me, even if it is one heck of an effort some days.

Autumn, benign's a step up from malignant, but still bloody awful if it's causing you pain. Surely they can do something. You definitely need some answers, though I agree, step away from google, as that way madness lies.

Topsy, are you back yet??? Come celebrate your homecoming and Gig's end of Rads. I have just cycled to M&S and back for cake for DS's class. Will hide it from the lot of you.

Amber, sounds like a sorry old week. Hope removal of portacath isn't too ouch. Be nice not to have it, but I know those appts are tough for you.

Snoopy, sorry you felt so sick. I was told same as Kurri, so take the anti-drugs before you're feeling sick if you can.

Better get on with work. Lovely outside today. Perfect day.

Amber sorry for your crap week. Sending love and hugs for you and don't google.

I really hope results come though asap.
x

Your right about drugs ladies I am going to keep ahead of the game.

Posting and running as I'm off to see some kittens and hopefully pick one that's right for us. and to all that need them.

ooh kittens !!
Just popping by to eat some lunch and say hello...
Benign always sounds like a kindly thing when it obviously isn't always
Concert was great smee ! T enjoyed it all I think
Must dash as need to do more work before taking ds with me to pick up S from art club then whisk T for hair cut and walk S back to her house.

A big hello to Bubble from me and a shout of Woop de doo! for the end of rads, Gig!

MAS - glad the concert went well.

Amber - holding your hand and distracting you with cake as the portacath comes out. Hold tight.

Love to all - am trying to hit an already extended deadline, so frantic!

Ow. Home.

for amber

Hello again, all. I have been reading all your posts but can't keep up.

Amazed - but v pleased for you - Gig has now done rads. It's been a very quick few weeks from my viewpoint, obv not from yours, i know. Pleased too to see topsy getting her release papers, Sometimes too back home after back op. I see Amber back home now. i'm sure you must be relieved to have that behind you. Autumn, I see lesion is benign - totally get what you say about this being shitty regardless - and hope next week will bringa plan to do something to make it all much better for you.

One of problems of posting a list is that I'm going to leave someone out. A big apology. Like i said, i can't keep up ...... welcome to new people, hello to 'old' and good luck vibes to all who need them.

i plan to do muffins for ds who has just finished his 2nd exam in 2 days. Now a gap of 2 weeks till next one. I'll put some on trolley, of course, but ti might be tomorrow before I manage it as quite a lot going on here.

xx

amber - hope all is going well for portacath removal, - am hand holding in spirit xx

MAS - concert sounds fun, glad it went well.

Don't work too hard Sometimes, and Smee that goes for you too.

Hello Baskets - those muffins look good, ,

HOME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Going to lie down on the sofa as the trip home wore me out !
Think I'll be back on form tomorrow after a good nights sleep in my own bed

Hooray - thank goodness topsy, get on that sofa and rest, rest, rest.

Fab news! Welcome home Topsy! x

I've decided to tell you all what is happening here as I need to get it all out. Or some of it. I think if I let it all out though I'll fall apart. So here goes ..... as I've said before I have various autoimmune problems. Basically bits of my body don't like me very much. Anyway, I've known for last few months there was new problem with my liver function and Ive known for a few years this might eventually catch up with me, though I'e had a few good years of it being quite stable and feel v lucky this has been the case. The jury is out as yet on exact dx, but none has brilliant prognosis though there are treatments available, so not absolutely dire yet. If you want o know more, Dr Baskets gives you pernission to look at Patient UK (if you must 'google' then this is an okay site IMO), and in this case it's not your disease so okay. It looks like I have either Autoimmune Hepatitis or Primary Biliary Cirrhosis. The real doctor caught up with me earlier this week - i've been doing my best to avoid the issue, patient from hell that I am - and most recent blood tests not good. More bloods next week, a scan in a few weeks, and re-referral to a specialist.

Most of all, this time I feel so bloody angry. New concept for me. When this all began, when my boys were very little I was just very scared, and sad etc. Youngest is 14 on Sunday so i've had a really good innings as they say (I hate that expression, sorry can't think of a better one just now)with no major ops, treatments, just at times a very stressful waiting game. But he has extra support needs, as does 19 YO, so I'd prefer not to be ill too. (That's an attempt at levity, not being especially self indulgent). I know everyone on here feels the same. Preferring not to b e ill, I mean. Now i'm just angry and t'd off. Not sure what to do about it. Maybe start a blog ..... I love other people's blogs BTW just not sure i could do it myself. Anyway that's the potted version of my tale.

Hope i'VE not dragged anyone down with me. I just feel if I'm to do more than lurk on this site, I need to be honest about my own situation. Some virtuul tablet on trolley, girls. Hope you all have a summer of sorts, even those of you hainge treatments, feeling ill, sore, etc. Weather brilliant here just now.

Oh, topsy, glad to see you home and lying on sofa. No need for duct tape, j'espere. Pretentieuse, moi?! Being in own bed after hospital stay can never be overrated IMO.

Crikey, sorry about typos in above screed. Sent before checking end bit. Ho hum. life too short for careful editing perhaps. Off out to hang next wash. The joys. Remember waht i said about the small things being a pleasure?!

On a lighter note, every time since yesterday when out in back garden I think of you lot. Why, you ask? Well after kk's tales of Lawn Gate a few weeks back, my neighbour has beaten this. Quoi, you ask! Only a 12 Foot (ish - I never could estimate distances, so maybe more) flag pole with a StAndrews flag. Yes, we are in Scotland, ina small rural town, so think very parochial, but I can't decide whether it's annoying, funny or just really weird. Well, it's all three methinks. Off to hang washing and ponder this further ....

Baskets - thank you for being so honest . It must have been very difficult to live with this and your two ds for so long. And you haven't scared me- just want to send you some un Mn hugs and support .

As for the 12 foot flag pole - nice...we have naked kids in a paddling pool next door (fortunately that is it although their dad has admitted to dh he likes a bit of naturism so I hardly dare look).

And on a lighter note, I will blog If you do

Not your two ds as such - was responding to your piece about not wanting to be ill when have them to care for.

Wow, baskets you have so much to deal with. . . I second gig - thank you for being so open with us. Stick with us and we can support you in any way we can. Lots of big hugs winging their way to you from sunny Dorset x x x

at flagpole!

gig overheated DS had to be swiftly dunked naked into his paddling pool after school today. Significantly improved his mood.

topsy love - welcome home! Lots of cake needed to aid recovery, methinks.

Doing OK here - surprisingly not too bad after injection this morning. My hands are flaking rather alarmingly, especially around my nails, but am applying lots of beautiful Cath Kidston hand cream my mum bought me. Hoping it will do the trick.

Hope everyone else ok this afternoon x x

baskets thanks for sharing so honestly with us-am glad you could but very sorry that you've had so much to deal with. I think blogging is a good idea- I would like to read it certainly.And you too gig
Hooray for topsy being home and well done to amber - hope it wasn't too awful.
ned Was thinking of your ds and his body temp problems.
Have walked a very hot S home - bought her a cold drink as I felt guilty for dragging her to T's hair cut- have also made appointment for me to have some colour -hooray and a trim...
Mum is apparently lacking vitamin D according to rheumatologist (I nearly wrote git there after sparkle's ds's rheumatologit.

Seems I'm fairly immune to local anaesthetic as well as sedatives. 3/4 hr of furtling about in uncomfortable ways. Now stitched, patched up and at home. Doc has a great sense of humour and offered me the chance to have the portacath to take home and make into jewellery
Er, umm....

baskets, what a long haul you've been through. I should imagine not knowing exactly what's wrong is a hell of a way to live to, as it's so intangible. I totally get the anger. I'm sure we've all felt that to some degree.

But hooray for Topsy. Finally home and all infections now banned.

Ned my skin did that too. Keep going with the moisturiser. Definitely helped with me.

Amber you need treats. Am piling M&S chocolate tea cakes no the fb trolley. Bet you won't miss that thing.

Sometimes are you sure you should be working already?? Don't overdo it.

I just took DS and his friend swimming and we couldn't get in because the pool was full..!

So glad Topsy has made it home safely :)

Ouch Amber you need to take it easy too.

Just back from a swim, and feel happier already. Have been missing out on exercise the last couple of weeks.
Lunchtime went paddling in the fountains near work. the atmosphere in the City Centre was great and loads of little children in their swimming kit cooling off. And adults fully clothed doing the same!