What ho! I've invited a boat-load of Johnny Foreigners to afternoon tea.

[allhailtheaubergine]

I want to do a bloody brilliant English Afternoon Tea.

I have the time, the inclination and the cash to make it really good, and I'm not a bad cook so will be making the lot.

I thought this was just the sort of thing Mumsnet would be perfect for advising on (and bickering over whether the milk goes in first).

So...

Victoria sponge?
Scones?
Cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off?
China cups and saucers?

Scones with proper thick clotted cream and strawberry jam.
Dainty cups of earl or lady grey tea
Definitely cucumber sandwiches (or nice cheddar and marmite if they are forren for a bit of a challenge!)

Scones with sultanas or without?

I'd do plain ones but you could split the batch of mix and do both.

Clotted cream isn;t usually popular with foreigners - I would go for the Victoria sponge.

Doubt I'll find clotted cream over here anyway. In fact I'll be lucky to find fresh cream - have seen it occasionally but usually can only get Elmlea or UHT.

Scones without sultanas for cream tea please! Also egg and cress sandwiches and proper darjeeling tealeaves (earl grey in the mornings)

egg mayonnaise and cress sandwiches.

Which country are you in? In Belgium?

Finger sandwiches, no crusts, with cucumber... Also Nice Ham ones. Maybe some rare roast beef with horseradish.
A poached salmon?
Strawberries and cream?

Gah! Starving!!

It is with Americans belgo...clotted cream, mmm...in fact the last time I was in Boston, Rhodda's was on sale in the local fancy imported food deli.

Hope it goes well!

Is it any particular foreigners who don't like clotted cream belgo?

belgo I'm also curious who doesn't like CC- from my experience the Dutch and Austrians I hang out with love the stuff! Is it China that they don't like dairy/ cheese and things?

Still think you should give them marmite, probably on toast soldiers with a dippy egg

Just the impression I have from speaking to lots of non-brits.

Hugh F-W had a 'recipe' of how to make cucumber sandwiches 'correctly' in the Observer or Sat Guardian magazine if you're interested?!

And def no raisins in cream tea scones (so speaks the wife of a Cornish man!)

HFW cucumber sandwiches

Cheese scones (Delia recipie) with Philly and cucumber and tomato (I don't like butter)

At Kew Gdns Orangery I had toast spread with honey,cinnamon and brown sugar then popped under grill.
Their cake was so thinly sliced it was early see-through
Millionaire shortbread

Without for scones please.
UHt cream will be fine tho obv not clotted cream perfect.
Poached/smoked salmon on brown bread with butter and lemon
Cucumber sandwiches
Egg sandwiches
Victoria sponge
Lemon drizzle cake or some other slice cake. Maybe a Ginger one spread with butter?

Marmite sandwiches, surely?

Super!

Thanks everyone.

Yes, of course, a slice cake. I have a wonderful dense ginger cake recipe somewhere too - I think it uses fresh ginger.

Thank you for the cucumber sanger link.

I think I will dpo marmite sandwiches too, just for everyone's reaction!

Sorry though, am not in China or Belgium. You're welcome to scoot down to Oman though if you really need a scone :)

Mini meringues with cream and raspberries.

oi oi people I'm a Jonny Foreigner and I love a good cream tea! (clotted cream is yum)

No sultanas in the scones.

Deffo VSC

Maybe some macaroons or eclairs?

Scones with raisins (that's how it's done in Dorset) but also some without
Finger sandwiches with:egg and cress, cream cheese & cucumber, smoked salmon
Assortment of little cakes - victoria sandwich, battenburg & last time we went out for Afternoon tea, they did mini eclairs & meringues.

Eclairs have a touch of the French, though, Slubber. Choux pastry surely veers into patisserie?

Cheese scones?

No cheese scones. Savoury food must be sandwiches. Nothing else.