Hi,
Did you start a simialr thread last week, Bit? I read it and really felt for you. When I get depressed it makes me cut myself off from everyone. Like no one has any idea of what is in my head and I can't tell anyone either.
Your ex is still on your sofa? This can't be helping you feel better.
Have you got something to look forward to? Just a small thing to focus on to get you through tonight.
Hope you are feeling better soon.