I ahve thrown Ds1s homework in the garden. I threw shoes and a bowl of ice cream, which is now dripping down the wall

[Saltire]

I cannot cope with them anymore. I've had it. I am sick of the whinging and the answering back and the defiance and the swearing,and the fighting and waking at 5am and they just never bloody stop.
I am sick of being in pain almost 24/7, I am sick of not sleeping properly and being woken by my next door neighbours fucking kids running about till midnight scremanig and yelling like its playtime, or bad pain in my legs and feet na dhands and arms and neck,or the dog whining to get out.
I am sick of this place, it's horrible and I hate it. I hate the house, the area, the RAF, my neighbours, the people who I see at school everyday..

I don't even know why I am writing this, becasue it's me, and no one will give a toss.

So sorry to hear you are having a terrible time, it is hard being so far away from anyone you know. I am not far from you, please if I can do anything get in touch, even if it is just to have a chat, clean the ice cream off the wall or get you out of the house.

Hope tomorrow id better.

Everyone loses their temper with children at times. They will know you love them. Just say that to them tomorrow morning.

See the doctor about depression... ban ice cream from the house - sugar/junk food/sweets etc is a known thing which makes depression worse and alcohol.

saltire do anything to get help.I know what it is like to be in that sort of pain as you know and it is important that you have support as the fact that you are ill is enough for your kids to cope with they don't need anything more.You are doing your best but you need help xx

Saltire, how are you feeling today? I hope you have had a better day.