Okay.
Smacking, yes. It is not good. The fact that you know that it is bad is a good thing.
That you feel guilty is a good thing.
But what you choose to do about it is what marks you out as the person you could be.
So what are you going to do? Will you give up? Or will you try?
Everyday we try and it is bloody hard but the fact we try makes us good people and good parents.
You give up and it's all for shit.
You keep trying and you are amazing.
which considering how you just keep trying all this time I think I know the answer to that one, you are more.