Nearly every day when I wake up I am disappointed. I have been on antidepressants for years. Have tried loads of different ones and now my psychiatrist says that the only thing left is counselling. But that can’t take away the mental pressure from adult DS, who pours his ASD rages down on our heads. He has been away on a lovely holiday and now has come home angry with the world. He can be so sweet and loving, but also screams and rages at us. I can’t take any more and just want to end everything. I am so ill (multiple conditions for decades) and am getting old. Just want it to end.