It's so fucking unfair. If I die (suicide because I won't be lucky enough to have a painless accident), there is a huge fuss. Dd loses a mother, dh loses a wife, family lose a member in a shocking circumstance, work colleagues appalled. But if I don't die, no-one gives a shit about me. Keeps treating like I don't matter to them (because I don't). But if I die, they would suddenly care.
It's shit because I have to keep on living so others don't feel bad, when they don't care anyway.
I wish I could just cut a tear in the space-time continuum and never have existed. Easy eh?