It's so unfair

[Yatzydog]

It's so fucking unfair. If I die (suicide because I won't be lucky enough to have a painless accident), there is a huge fuss. Dd loses a mother, dh loses a wife, family lose a member in a shocking circumstance, work colleagues appalled. But if I don't die, no-one gives a shit about me. Keeps treating like I don't matter to them (because I don't). But if I die, they would suddenly care.

It's shit because I have to keep on living so others don't feel bad, when they don't care anyway.

I wish I could just cut a tear in the space-time continuum and never have existed. Easy eh?

Live for you. Be important to you.

This.

Seek support with your mental health, I’m sure there are lots of people in your life who love and appreciate you. If not, you can change the people you surround yourself with.

You know, non of them will really care after - well perhaps your child/partner, but not those in the wings so to speak

Why are you worrying about what others think?

Seriously, Im not being flippant , but spending energy on worrying about other peoples thoughts and actions, is wasting energy that you really could be spending on yourself

You can not control other peoples thoughts or actions - only your own

So live your life without passing a thought about how others perceive you - that's their stuff - you concentrate on yours

I do know how it is when you are spiralling into that place, you dont need to go there

I was listening to the radio just yesterday, they were interviewing an author who's supposed to be right up there ( meter heard of her before ) she's written a book - Let Them , and the discussion around it made so much sense to me. Let people think, act and behave as they will. Your stress/worry levels will drop, and you will free yourself

You cant not change other people, only yourself.

Evening.
We're just bobbing on here to say that we're so sorry to hear you're going through this, OP.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Mental Health page.
Very best wishes from all at MNHQ

I feel the same. I could almost have written it.

I have to live miserably just so others (who dont seem very bothered) don’t have to go through grief and shock.

i don’t know what the answer is. I’m sort of waiting for the point where it reaches such a low that I no longer care whether others feel sad. I get closer every day.