Hi all, I'm looking for some advice.
I've been diagnosed with borderline personally disorder for about 10years. Recently iv been experiencing some odd behaviours.
I was struggling to sleep, I couldn't get to sleep and around 1.30am whilst laying there I had a overwhelming sense and fully believed someone was in my house, walking around as I could hear someone walking downstairs, I thought whoever this person was they were going to kill me and hurt me. I was too scared to make a noise or move. Now looking back at this there's no evidence to suggest this, all windows and doors locked, nothing taken, didn't see anyone, didn't hear anyone leave or arrive.
This isn't everything I'm having hugely strong believes that my husband is abusive, emotionally, verbally, I feel like I'm going mad. Now realistically he isn't the brightest person, he's mentally got the age of someone who's 5, (he has learning disabilities) but the thoughts around it all is frightening .. I have thoughts like I can't go and speak to anyone professionally due to he will use this against me, he's plotting things behind my back, I honestly thought he was in my house the other night tormenting me when realistically he was at his house, thoughts that he is also plotting to secretly get police, psychiatrists, mental health teams to take me away, that he's watching me if I go out, that he's in my house when I'm not there.. even though he's at work.
I also see shadows, occasionally hearing voices inside my head, my mind is so loud sometimes and chaotic , my mind races constantly. I'm struggling with making decisions even simple ones, I feel I'm loosing touch with reality and distinguishing what's actually real or not.
What's going on with me?