This isn't normal is it (TW - suicide)

[BeEasyonYourself]

Over the course of the last 12 months 6 friends have died by suicide. The latest being yesterday. I'd known him since I was about 9 and he's left his wife (known her about the same time) and two little kids. Other losses are my ex-BIL (we were all still friends), my friend's fiance and three other friends.

It's not normal is it? Over my life I've had an average of two friends a year die by suicide or OD or alcohol related illness. Has anyone else experienced this? I am massively struggling and I suppose just want to know I'm not alone.

I'm sorry to hear that OP. Unfortunately it is well known that contagion is a strong factor and the more people are told or hear, by media, friends, family, that life is terrible, the more it impacts them. For good mental health we need to step away from bad news sometimes, or at least balance it with more positive input.

Thanks. These are all people from different friendship groups though... I would never have expected the latest suicide, I saw him a couple of weeks ago and he seemed so happy. I don't know what happened. Same with BIL who was found after two months hanged in a forest overseas, I thought he was happy living there and had remarried. Two of my friends had fiancés and toddlers and everything to live for. I just don't understand 😔

Unfortunately yes, suicide is very common and it often has a ripple effect. Iv lost multiple people close to me from suicide one being my bf who died due to his brothers suicide. It's honestly the hardest type of death to deal with, iv attempted multiple times also.

I'm so sorry. It's fucking shit.

I've tried too, multiple times.

I'm sorry OP, it's an awful thing at any time but to have so many in such a short period of time does seem unusual.

Sadly I have experienced suicide of friends in the past and there is so much gloom and despondency in the news day after day, talk of war and violence and rioting in the streets, breakdown of law and order I'm not surprised that more people are taking this drastic step at the moment.

I’m a bit concerned this thread itself could cause contagion.

That's unfair to say she put a tw up and she has every right to talk about how she feels with out being made to feel guilty

I’m not trying to make her feel guilty. I started reading and felt worried. It sounds awful for OP, really, unimaginably awful. My only thought was if there was a common subculture where you were from, for example, knowing one-another from boarding school or residential care or a small religious sect where a common trauma from the past might be affecting them.

It's a proven fact that talking about suicide like on this thread does not cause suicide. However actually commiting suicide can absolutely have a ripple effect on others.

I know this is a terrible time and I understand the not understanding but really, it is their mental health that is not good. You've tried yourself which is very sad to read so I'm confused as to why you don't understand the actions of your friends. I think it would be a good idea to talk to someone professional for help.

You may be right. I am from a subculture (born into it - not all of my lost friends were part of it though and several didn't know each other at all). Argh I'll shut up now. Just so sad.

I'm very obviously mentally unwell though (have been sectioned several times). They seemed OK, happy.

Maybe I just attract friends who are also mentally ill.

There is no professional help out there. I spent 10k on a mental health retreat last year and it hasn't made any changes. I can't afford any more. I haven't worked for months.

Maybe I should just follow my friends' path.

No matter what the problem, nothing is worth taking your life over. Things in life are constantly evolving and happier times always come again. It always makes me sad to hear when people end their lives as there's an answer to every problem.

Please don't follow your friend's very sad path, OP. No matter how bleak things seem, your life is precious and you deserve to be here (as did all the people you have sadly lost). Have you ever tried speaking with the Samaritans, or Papyrus? They are a suicide prevention charity, and their number is 0800 068 4141. If you feel in danger, please take steps to keep yourself safe.

Please don't. There must be something, somewhere you want to visit, a food you like to eat, a tv programme you're following, music you enjoy. Concentrate on these things and try to do things that give you pleasure. I don't know what else to say OP, but I hope that things get better for you.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources You can also go to the
Samaritans website or email them on [email protected].

We see that you are getting some wonderful support from other Mumsnetters which is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters. But as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We have moved this thread to the Mental Health section.

Wishing you the very best,
MNHQ💐

Alcohol and drug use often pushes people to suicide too.

I don't need nor have I asked for financial support! I know it's just a standard post from you but honestly I'm in a really bad way at the moment and suggesting I'm after money is making me feel even worse.

I've been on here under different names for over a decade. I've had some real help. I'm not here to defraud people!

Which are both very prevalent in my background (I'm new age traveller, born and raised in a bus)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GqjUHB6hf9s

It doesn't matter, my life was shattered, and my heart's got holes. You left a child out in the wild and I was raised by wolves.

This is my childhood (not actual wolves obviously!)

Genuinely struggling to cope. Taken out of school at 13, let move into a squat in another country at 16. I've never had a normal life and I suppose my friends haven't either.

I’m sorry @BeEasyonYourself .

Are you in a grounded place now?

OP you deserve a safe, secure, stable home.
You deserve to put down roots and grow and flourish.
You deserve to feel life giving you a big warm hug and saying “I’m so glad you’re here”.
You belong. You are safe.

Can I recommend BWRT.

Please do not follow your friends path. They wouldn't want that for you.

I've never heard of this. I'll have a look, thank you.