I have times of terrible anxiety but have never felt like this before with sudden waves of utter despair. My husband has throat cancer, he has just finished treatment so now needs to find out if it has worked in three months time. I’ve convinced myself it hasn’t. My dad also has cancer. Today I’ve convinced myself that my mum has hep c from blood transfusion she had 48 years ago - she is my best friend.My son if 17 is addicted to cannabis and is behaving really badly a lot of the time. I just want out right now. If I didn’t wake tomorrow I would be at peace. I’m so scared of how quickly my brain has gone to such utter despair. I’m due my period any day now too. Not sure the purpose of my post. I have no plans to do right now but it’s the only comfort I can get is knowing I can stop it.