I’m feeling suicidal for the first time

[famlam]

I have times of terrible anxiety but have never felt like this before with sudden waves of utter despair. My husband has throat cancer, he has just finished treatment so now needs to find out if it has worked in three months time. I’ve convinced myself it hasn’t. My dad also has cancer. Today I’ve convinced myself that my mum has hep c from blood transfusion she had 48 years ago - she is my best friend.My son if 17 is addicted to cannabis and is behaving really badly a lot of the time. I just want out right now. If I didn’t wake tomorrow I would be at peace. I’m so scared of how quickly my brain has gone to such utter despair. I’m due my period any day now too. Not sure the purpose of my post. I have no plans to do right now but it’s the only comfort I can get is knowing I can stop it.

Firstly I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Secondly, do you currently have any support for you with your anxiety, from your GP, a mental health service or similar?

Oh my goodness what a lot you have on your plate! I don't know what to say to comfort you but I know what anxiety and despair feels like. Thankfully I haven't experienced either for many years but I remember how debilitating it was. Have you considered making a double appointment with your GP to discuss how they can help? You might also benefit from some chats with Samaritans. Call 116 123 free.

Hi famlam,

We're sorry you're feeling so low. We can see you're already getting some good support on this thread from other Mumsnetters, but we just wanted to add a few links which might be of help.

Here's a link to our general Mental Health webguide which lists lots of organisations which can provide some real life support.

If you're feeling really low, please call the Samaritans on 116 123. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected].

If you find texting easier, please take a look at Shout's website. Shout 85258 is a free, confidential, anonymous text support service. Its trained volunteers are available all hours of the day and night to listen and support you to get to a calmer and safe place.

Here too is a link to Mind's support page which has tips for everyday living which can help when you're feeling overwhelmed.

We hope things start getting a bit easier for you soon.

So sorry that you are feeling so low. You have a lot going on.

I completely understand anxiety. I have struggled with it for years. In January I had a mental breakdown. Literally suicidal. It was terrible. I’d never felt so low. In my case it was triggered by HRT and the menopause. I saw my GP urgently as I was so scared about how things had changed so quickly. I was given antidepressants (which I’d had before) and within a couple of weeks I was feeling much better.

You must go to see your GP. That is the first step to getting help, you don’t need to feel like this x

Yes definitely seek help from the gp if u haven’t already @famlam you have an awful lot going on I’m not surprised your anxious and although it won’t change the current situations with your husband, mum etc it might get you some help so you don’t feel so despairing and overwhelmed by it all. ❤️