Hand Hold HIV Test

[anxietycat]

Just a hand hold really & any advice.

I have recently found out that I have an auto immune disease picked up on a routine blood test. They are currently doing a number of blood tests to try & find out which illness but one of the tests is for HIV.

I'm absolutely terrified this will be positive. I have been with DH for 18 years & I know for a fact that I have not cheated & I'm as certain as you can be that he hasn't so not sure why i'm so frightened.

Is it possible to have it for that length of time & not know? I really don't think I can cope with having to wait for these results, my mind is all over the place

I'll give you a handhold OP. It could be literally anything but I understand your anxiety. I remember my blood being tested for HIV along with the routine bloods when I was pregnant and, although I was 99.999999% that it'd be negative, I still had that wee seed of worry.

How long until you get your results?

Thank you, any time now I think. I had the blood tests on Monday & some of the other results have started to come through on the NHS app

I'm trying so hard to hold it together at work

Oh gosh, OP, I think everyone who has an HIV test, whether in pregnancy or before starting certain medical treatments for auto-immune diseases or cancer, feels like this - a lingering sense of 'but what if???'

You are extremely unlikely to be HIV positive. And it is now treatable to the point of complete remission. Park your worry and negative thoughts away for most of the day, allow yourself a very short 'worry time' once a day, and then get on with other things. Best wishes

Given your circumstances it's highly unlikely to be HIV, but even if it is, it's so well managed with medication now. It's not the death sentence it used to be (I'm sure you're aware of that already. I don't want to sound patronising). I understand though that that would lead to difficult questions around how you came to contract it, etc.

It's just a routine test I'm sure but I totally get how you could get anxious about it OP.
I'm sure you'll be negative. From what you say I think the chances of it being positive are remotely slim. Handhold and hope it comes through quick!

HIV test results can take longer than the others, OP. Don't read anything in to it.

This is a natural response to finding out doctor results, everyone is nervous even if you know for sure its a weird and strange experience that isnt nice, dont stress

thank you, it's not just the illness but dealing with DH & the fact he must have cheated as well as dealing with an illness. I am massively over thinking & getting into a tizz when it could well be negative.

@AutumnCrow great advice, I will try to reschedule a worry time for tomorrow

I'm sure you'll be fine, OP. Getting results is always worrying.

I learned that at Mindfulness classes! Works for me.

I’m a doctor. We test tons and tons of people for HIV. Even some people who’ve had a nasty chest infection. It’s just part of looking for a huge range of causes. Very routine. If you did have it finding out wouldn’t change if you had it or not, but it would mean you could have a normal life expectancy with treatment. Honestly it’s such a common blood test we do please don’t panic.

Can I ask why you think your DH must have cheated? Auto immune diseases have hundreds of different causes

You don’t have HIV. If you caught it 18 years ago you’d be dead by now. And if you have kids it would have been identified during pregnancy.

The only way you could have it is if your DH cheated (which you think is unlikely), and his affair partner was someone with HIV (also unlikely), and he caught it (much harder to catch it than people think), and then he passed it to you, and he has no symptoms despite the fact he would have had it longer than you.

In the kindest way, your anxiety is running away with you.

It's a routine part of autoimmune work up.

No one in your clinic seriously thinks you have HIV. However they do need to show you haven't got it if they want to prescribe you treatment that affects your immune system.

Only if the HIV test comes back positive, the other tests they are doing are non contagious

Thank you, that actually really helps. I don't have children so don't think I have been tested before.

How are you doing @anxietycat ? And any result yet? Hope you're feeling better today.

No result yet, still waiting. I’m worried that’s not a good sign but have set myself morning, lunch time & evening to check the app as I’d become quite obsessed checking constantly.

Well done for putting boundaries round your anxiety! That's not easy.

Let us know won't you? I'm so sure you don't have HIV, it's just your anxiety and imagination talking.

You'd be dead by now.

I understand anxiety and have suffered myself but please try and bring a little logic into this situation. I also (sorry) find it quite offensive having a relative with HIV who genuinely has a reason to worry.

I will let you know but don’t post anymore other than that as I really didn’t mean to offend someone, that’s actually really upset me
I’m sorry

You’re offended because someone is concerned that they may have the same illness as a relative of yours?

Please don’t make OP feel even worse than she does, she’s not done anything remotely wrong.

Honestly I have a friend with HIV and I’m offended on his behalf that she’s offended on her relatives behalf. He’d tell her she’s a dick.

Hope you’re alright OP, very unlikely to be HIV given the circumstances but we all have different reasons for our anxieties. Hope things work out well. Don’t be afraid to reach out for support if you need it.

No news is good news. I know it's hard but try and think positively x