I am plagued with thoughts of killing myself. Whilst I don't really plan to do this, I do know how I would do it. I don't think I would because I lack the courage to do it, as opposed to feeling happy enough not to do it.
I wondered if anyone had any advice about what to say to a medical professional about this.
The thing is, I'm getting really tired of feeling this way. It's been this way for most of my life - although I do have pockets of happiness. I am better when my mind is put to use and distracted. I am a teacher. I read a lot.
It's just that at the moment I feel like I could cry most of the time. I am 44 years old and I wondered if maybe my thoughts had got worse because of the peri-menopause. I wondered if anyone had experience of that?
I'm on half term right now so I was hoping to get an appointment next week (as I am still off).
I feel a bit sad that I'm not bothered about living or dying. But ultimately I don't care and I suppose I do care, because I don't want to end my life, really.
Any comments gratefully received as I have no one in real life I want to share this with. Thank you.