I have crippling social anxiety - before I meet anyone (including those I know well - family and friends!) I get a terrible churning stomach, bad nausea, feelings of absolute dread, diarrhoea, horrible adrenaline rushes and very obvious sweating and blushing. I’m sure that everyone I encounter can see how uncomfortable I am and therefore they automatically dislike me and think I’m a pathetic person who isn’t worth knowing. CBT helped a bit and Sertraline has helped quite a lot but I often don’t manage to get to the doctor for a repeat prescription - they insist on a review every six weeks but life is so busy. I have to put the kids and work first. As a result I’ve had lengthy delays stopping and starting it again.
I can’t shake the feeling of huge self loathing, disgust and absolute hatred of myself. I’m a fucking waste of space.