So I was diagnosed with OCD years ago. It's not the germaphobe obsessive cleaning type- but the need for things in my home environment to be a certain way. I do clean probably more than I should and I've been told I come across as very 'precious' when it comes to my home. For example, I absolutely cannot abide shoes in the house. If someone is in my home wearing shoes I will sit there tense, on edge, anxiety going through the roof. If something like crumbs are left on the counter after my DH makes himself toast I absolutely cannot relax until I've cleared them up. When guests visit and they take off their coats and hang them on the back of the dining chair I have to move them to the coat rack before I can relax. Those are just a few of many many things. The best way I can describe it is in my mind, certain things about my house are 'right' and things have a 'right' and a 'wrong' place and if they're in the 'wrong' place I get stupidly anxious and can't relax. In my mind shoes belong at the door in the porch, crumbs belong in the bin, coats belong on the coat rack etc. I know it shouldn't matter- and I feel absolutely awful that I make such a big deal out of stupid things.
The really problem comes when we have visitors. I can't bring myself to, say, ask them to take their shoes off because I'm terrified of appearing rude. My DH has told me I absolutley am being rude when I ask people if they'd mind taking off their shoes so I don't do it anymore which means I can't relax when people are over. I've also been accused of being rude for putting coasters under people's drinks and clearing away empty bottles pretty much as soon as people have finished drinking. People bringing dogs over is another thing that really sets me off as I get so stressed out about the hair and the drool and their claws marking the floors but it seems like literally everyone I know owns a dog and they're all on the furniture type of dogs but again because I don't want to come across as rude and I want to be accommodating I never say anything. I had a friend come to stay and I spent about a week before barely sleeping thinking about how I would cope with the dog being there for a week. When she was with me I was just on edge the whole time because the dogs things (bed, toys, blankets, dishes, crate) were all over the living room (again in my OCD brain these things were definitely 'wrong' and shouldn't have been in my living room) not to mention the hair and the sticky marks from her chewing her treats. Also she had her shoes on the whole time too.
I want to be able to enjoy people visiting but how on earth can I say I don't like shoes or dogs in the house, or go about cleaning up after people the second they put something where I think it shouldn't be etc without just appearing rude and horrible and unwelcoming? Am I just an awful person for being so 'precious'? Should I just get on with it and keep my stress and my anxiety to myself in order to be a better host? It's making my life really difficult.