I'm really struggling to find reasons to go on. I have no friends and family and struggle to meet people. An eating disorder that I don't feel I can control at the moment and means my BMI has crept up to over 53.
For the last two years I've been in a relationship, we haven't been able to see each other that often because of Covid. He is classed as very vulnerable and my job means I'm in contact with new people every day, so it's only recently that we've been able to see each other in person with any frequency. He has been told this week that he is unlikely to live longer than a year or two. I'm completely in love with him and he does care deeply for me too but he feels that he doesn't want to continue our relationship and progress to moving in together etc. He has a young daughter and wants to spend the little time he has left focusing on her, he also doesn't want for me to have to become his carer and watch his decline.
I understand why he has made this decision but I'm absolutely devastated, I just want to spend the time he has left with him as much as possible, but I know he's not going to change his mind.
I'm also worried about my future financially, I don't have any debts but I'm almost 38 and not on the property ladder and don't have any savings really. I live in a fairly awful rented flat and desperately want to live somewhere else.
It really feels I have nothing to live for