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Original poster

Health Anxiety - Part 5

528 replies

AJ297 · 12/04/2021 14:48

Sorry if someone else was going to do this, I just didn't want to lose you all 😂

@MrsWhites
@argueifnecessary
@tmh88
@Skyliner001
@TheSilentStars
@hildagardecrowe
@BigGreen
@goolies
@iamsodonewith2020
@KAP232
@polkadotpixie

Sorry if I missed anyone!

OP posts:
tmh88 · 21/04/2021 17:27

@EXA1912 sorry to hear that, sounds so difficult what you are going through have they said what they think it could be?xx

tmh88 · 22/04/2021 06:37

Morning, how is everyone?

Dollsandfoo · 22/04/2021 06:43

Am not to bad now I have gotten myself up and out of bed and ready for work. Didn't sleep great tho. My body just will not let me sleep last about 3ish in the morning so obviously am awake then worrying about every possible illness I might have . Hope everyone is feeling ok xx

HildegardeCrowe · 22/04/2021 07:40

Morning all, well done for getting out of bed @Dollsandfoo, hope your day goes well. Are you still doing well @tmh88? I seriously can’t go on like this, I have a small mark next to my fingernail and have googled and am terrified about nail melanoma. I’ve already sent an online consult to my GP practice to get reassurance. I find one symptom after another and get no peace. Not eating or sleeping and cancelling on friends, not to mention being unable to work.

My life has totally unravelled and think I will just tell everyone that anxiety/depression has finally got the better of me and not to expect anything from me. I feel so bad for lovely DD not having a functioning mum (she’s away at uni and doesn’t know how bad I am). Also sweet 90 year old mum, don’t want to worry her. I don’t want to get out of bed and I don’t have to (apart from walking the dog). I suppose this is as bad as it gets and I’m almost hoping that I’ll be diagnosed with an incurable illness and that will be that. Sorry for self-indulgent post but feel so desperate. How are you@EXA1912?

Dollsandfoo · 22/04/2021 08:07

@HildegardeCrowe don't apologise. Were all here because we feel the same. I know you don't want to worry your daughter but maybe telling her might help. She will want to support you and maybe thats what you need right now. Just getting ot off your chest may help. Sending lots of love x

tmh88 · 22/04/2021 09:14

@HildegardeCrowe I’m sure your daughter would be so understanding and want to support you through this! I’m sure your nail will be fine but for peace of mind and sanity it’s always best to get these things checked ❤️ Don’t say sorry, there is no need! All working through things together x

HildegardeCrowe · 22/04/2021 09:16

Thank you! I think it’s best if I tell close friends that I’m not good ATM and find it hard to make plans but want to keep in touch. Do you think that’s ok?

tmh88 · 22/04/2021 09:19

@HildegardeCrowe yes definitely ok! It’s always best to share these things with someone x

Dollsandfoo · 22/04/2021 09:22

Definitely. I bet you will feel better for telling them xx

HildegardeCrowe · 22/04/2021 09:31

Thank you both. Wish I’d stop reassurance-seeking from GP but they’ve already booked me a phone appointment on Monday! I think the mark is from where dog bit me but taking ages to heal. It’s the second contact I’ve had with them this week (usually weekly). Everyone here is so kind and understanding, helps so much x

MrsWhites · 22/04/2021 10:24

Morning @tmh88 and @DustyHoneydew, glad you are both doing well.

I was going ok being quite rational (by my standards anyway) but yesterday some vagina anxiety got me again (I can’t believe I’m actually writing that - what has happened to me that I actually have vagina anxiety 🤣). I’m feeling a bit better this morning, like you say dustyhoneydew it’s easier when the sun shines! That treatment you described sounds good, I might have to look into something like that.

@Skyliner001 haven’t seen you posting for a few days, hope you are doing ok x

Dollsandfoo · 22/04/2021 11:29

Am now in work having a complete melt down because I think my left thigh muscle looks like it has a swelling on it. I own a dog boarding kennels so spend most of my days on my feet walking dogs. I hurt my leg back in January wasn't reay sure what I did but hospital said I had torn a groin muscle and was probably from being pulled round d by the dogs alot. Now it has got a million times better the pain but I can still feel it in my leg even after all this time. Which has obviously had me worried anyway but having been trying my best to not think about it to much. Then today I went the loo in work and happened to look at my leg and though my thigh looks a little swollen compared to my other one. Am in bits now feel like am going to be sick and just want to go home and sob :(

HildegardeCrowe · 22/04/2021 13:13

Oh @Dollsandfoo, that’s how I feel today. Don’t worry about feeling a bit of pain even now, I did something to my knee in January and it’s a million times better too but still get some twinges. You’re probably just focusing on your thigh now and thinking something’s scary when it’s not. It’s your HA head talking, just like mine.

Take some deep breaths and maybe ask someone else to have a look later (do you have a partner?). If you’re still worried make an appointment with the GP (just like I did 🙁) for reassurance. What a fantastic business to run, do you have more dog walking to do? Am finally ready to go out so will take mine out in the sun. Sending hugs xx

Dollsandfoo · 22/04/2021 13:28

I work with my partner and he's looked at it and said it does look a little swollen but that the is a bit of a bruise there aswell so he's like one of the dogs has probably just jumped on you and done it and that he wouldn't be worried if it was his leg. He's probably right I do get jumped on obviously a lot by the dogs so maybe it is just from that and am letting my mind get carried as way with me. X

HildegardeCrowe · 22/04/2021 13:31

Yes that’s what we do, glad he’s reassured you xx

goldielockdown2 · 22/04/2021 13:38

Can I jump on this thread please? I found it after searching for my weird symptoms.
I've always had anxiety but I think it's turned into health anxiety since I started getting random twitches last week. Started back on citalopram a few days ago and I feel so much worse now. The twitches feel constant and they trigger full panic attacks. I don't know if they are a cause of or part of the anxiety at this point. I'm at the end of my tether it's like restless leg syndrome but all over

Original poster
AJ297 · 22/04/2021 13:40

@HildegardeCrowe I felt how you feel a few weeks ago. My anxiety was at an all time high and I couldn't function. I felt so guilty and so much of a burden. But it got better, and I'm feeling better in myself. You will get there too, just focus on you and stay in bed all you need to! 💕

OP posts:
HildegardeCrowe · 22/04/2021 15:04

On thanks @AJ297 x that’s given me hope. Glad you’re feeling so much better. I will have to focus on myself, that’s all I can manage (apart from the dog) but am trying to stop being so much inside my head if that makes any sense. Welcome @goldielockdown2, I always feel worse when starting SSRIs so hang in there. I’ve been on Citalopram 20mg for a couple of months and it’s not doing much so thinking of going up to 40mg. What dose are you on?

Dollsandfoo · 22/04/2021 15:07

@goldielockdown2 hello yer they definitely do make you feel worse at the start xx

MaraScottie · 22/04/2021 15:22

Oh my god, I'm so glad this thread exists.

I think I've developed this since my Mam had BC about 5 years ago. Now my life is interspersed with her follow-on tests, sacns and results of which I worry about incessantly.

And then there's my own health. I've zero to worry about but I'm 40 now so every ache and pain and twinge and mark just sets me into a frenzy of worry and stress and anxiety.

I had a lot of bloating the last month which I was stressing about, but now I think it's due to the fact I was taking Evening Primrose Oil (for anxiety, ironically enough) I would laugh if I could!

goldielockdown2 · 22/04/2021 18:20

Thank you @HildegardeCrowe and @Dollsandfoo. I'm only on 10mg! I've been told I need to wait a couple of weeks before I can increase which hopefully I can do as I feel dreadful

HPFA · 22/04/2021 22:03

@goldielockdown2

I had these for a period of time at night which of course didn't help with sleep. One thing I found that helped a little bit was to cuddle a pillow or other large soft object. It doesn't make them go away but it does make them feel more muted.

HildegardeCrowe · 23/04/2021 05:56

Good morning all. I’ve had another sleepless night and all I can think about is ending it all. I can’t bear for this anguish to continue for another minute. I’m convinced my current symptom is cancer and feel utterly defeated, knowing that this pattern will go on repeating itself. I just want to die, even the thought of what it would do to my beloved daughter doesn’t seem enough now......Sorry, sorry, sorry

Dollsandfoo · 23/04/2021 06:52

@HildegardeCrowe don't say sorry you have nothing to apologise for. You can't help how your feeling but it will get better it can get better. I know you really don't want to but reach out to your daughter. I know I would 100% want my mum to reach out to me. I know you talk to the doctor but call them again today and tell them how really really bad its gotten. Please talk to someone things can get better. Sending you lots of love x

tmh88 · 23/04/2021 07:00

@HildegardeCrowe I agree with @Dollsandfoo definitely reach out today and tell them everything that’s going through your head. As hard as it is to see there isn’t a person in the world you included who doesn’t have so much to live for, you can and will get through this!❤️ Wish I could come give you a hug!

Who ever posted about there leg lump, I bumped my side rib/breast area a while ago and it took a really long time for it to go down!