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Original poster

relationship over and just been given anti d's. cant move forward

52 replies

muma3 · 27/09/2007 14:11

ill post a link

OP posts:
Original poster
muma3 · 27/09/2007 14:13

here

OP posts:
allgonebellyup · 27/09/2007 14:31

hi
have spoken to you before, just wanted you to know i am thinking of you and am in the exact same position. Now my ADs are starting to work (i think) i am feeling a bit more positive although its very slow.
Please dont give up, it will get better, thats what everyone tells me!

i think it just takes time, time and even more time, to heal. im not there yet and dont think i will be for a while but didnt want to ignore your post.

ive found that seeing friends has helped me a lot, and having someone to chat to. Do you have a person to talk to?

Original poster
muma3 · 27/09/2007 14:42

yes but no one knows what to say to me anymore. my problem is i dont want to feel postive, that will be feeling positive about being with out him and i dont . dont want to be without him, let alone be happy about my life alone now. it may change one day where i have to get on with things but right now i dot want to go forward especially not happily iykwim

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allgonebellyup · 27/09/2007 14:44

i know, i am exactly the same, and my dh is already with another girl and she is pregnant by him, i have NEVER known pain like this and i just want to go to sleep most nights and never wake up.
i sob every day and night, but there has to be a way forward for both of us.
please give the ADs a chance, they are my only hope too.

Can you call the samaritans? or see a counsellor?

Original poster
muma3 · 27/09/2007 14:47

going next week to see someone, what on earth can they can they do??

i do feel for you though, if he had someone else i wouldnt be here right now. im verging on not wanting to wake up if it was me i dont know what i would do , you are obviously much stronger then i am , i envy you . your doing a good job >

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allgonebellyup · 27/09/2007 14:53

i am NOT strong, i am very weak, ive been in a total state, i just cant imagine my whole life without him in it.
the thought of him holding hands with this bitch and their baby makes me vomit, it truly does. i feel like my heart and guts have been wrenched out and i really dont know how i make it through each day.

i just cling to the fact that in a couple of years i will look back on this period of my life and think "thank god its over".
i do want to die but i cant leave my children.

Hope youll be ok.

Original poster
muma3 · 27/09/2007 14:55

omg i feel the same, it must have an easier ending then this. surely it must get better. the tears will always be there but i cant go on like this forever surely for the kids sake that isnt fair on them really. just think like that . by the time they are 18 and im not needed so much there may be something else worth living for ??

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Original poster
muma3 · 27/09/2007 14:57

my hot mail addy if you want to talk.
rachael 1015 @ hotmail.co.uk

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allgonebellyup · 27/09/2007 14:59

Everyone keeps telling me that time is the greatest healer, but time drags so slowly when youre this low, doesnt it?
plus the more time that goes by, the further away dh will be and i will be more and more forgotten, and our love will be a forgotten thing of the past. i dont want to let go, i cant.
you sound the same.

please dont do anything drastic, if i can survive what i am going through then you can too, and thank your lucky stars he isnt having a baby with someone..

allgonebellyup · 27/09/2007 14:59

thanks for email, have changed web provider so still trying to sort email ad

Original poster
muma3 · 27/09/2007 15:05

you are helping more then you know > im sure there is nothing i can do for you , i cant be positive , i cant change things and the same for me. no...i cant let go and im scared with each day he is building his life without me and i just want a bulldozer to knock it over iykwim. i have done everything to get him back. i cant it hurts and this always will. maybe ill be in a better place when he moves on that far(as in a new love) and ill deal with it as it comes but even the thought is making me ill

OP posts:
allgonebellyup · 27/09/2007 16:11

please please try the ADs, they help to numb the pain, i think, mine are still not 100% working..

Original poster
muma3 · 27/09/2007 16:34

read this , i cant cope anymore, i cant take more thing . what has happened to me
here fgs

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allgonebellyup · 27/09/2007 16:38

i read your thread briefly, and asked them to lay off you. i didnt fully understand the situation but i know you dont need this at all.
please try to ignore all the comments, i know it feels impossible, please dont do anything stupid.

Original poster
muma3 · 27/09/2007 16:46

i wouldnt while they are singing and dancing around the living room, god i want to end this pain right now. people are right though, everything i do i fuck up

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allgonebellyup · 27/09/2007 16:49

i just looked at your profile - your children are gorgeous and youre only 25!!!?
i am 28 and people say i have my whole life ahead of me, though i cant really see it yet.
please keep going for your girls.

fawkeoff · 27/09/2007 16:52

can i just say to you that i am truly sorry that ur going through such a shit time hun...i di post on the thread below, but i was just being honest with you not trying to make you feel like shit.I do understand how u r feeling at the moment, me and dp split a few years ago and it was horrible.I can honestly say to you that if i think back to the hurt i felt throughout that time it makes me want to cry.We are back together now and have been for 3 years,in my case the time apart did our relationship good, i think ours was a case of too much too young iykwim.Ypu will get through this shit time and come out the other side a better woman for it.You just have to take things day by day x

Cashncarry · 27/09/2007 16:53

Muma3 - I really hope you don't mind me coming over to your thread. Tell me to bog off if you like

I think you're being really tough on yourself. It's hard on MN when you post something like that because people want to have an opinion so assume you want to hear it.

I did disagree with the way you handled it, yes but that said, you did the best you could and no one can ask anything more of you. You sound like a very caring and conscientious mum and I hope you scared the living daylights out of your DD - she won't be doing that again too soon

Please do take your anti-Ds - the GP wouldn't have given them to you if he didn't think they would help. Many of us have been on them - 1 in 3 women - and while they're no magic cure, they will help you through the dark times.

In the meantime, think about getting yourself some more support in RL. Have you contacted Gingerbread or Homestart? Is your HV aware of the situation? Take good care xx

fawkeoff · 27/09/2007 16:54

you do have beautiful children and your dogs are cute

Original poster
muma3 · 27/09/2007 17:25

dd3 is starting to get upset now. she didnt seem too bothered before but she has just started crying cus i am , i feel so guilty. she rubbed my arm " better now " bless her...

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fawkeoff · 27/09/2007 17:26

aww hun sorry to be really nosey but how did the relationship come to a head???

Original poster
muma3 · 27/09/2007 17:34

here

explains it more a few posts down

here also

and here

explains it all , its too much to keep saying over and over (please understand )

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Original poster
muma3 · 27/09/2007 17:41

allgonebellyup are you still here??

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allgonebellyup · 27/09/2007 17:54

yes i am.. you ok?

fawkeoff · 27/09/2007 18:01

i really do feel for you hun and i do know exactly what your feeling at the moment.dp said the exact same thing to me whe we had a break.he very quickly started seeing numerous people and i was deeply hurt, so much that it made me physically sick.it took me a good 3 months to get my head round him not coming back.eventually learned to be on my own with dd and gained some independance which ihad never had.we did get back together though but things where a mess for quite some time.sorry to bore you with this i just want you to know that things will be better for you x