I'm currently sat in the garden feeding cold and smoking ( social smoker)
I got told tonight you're a fucki,ng mess .... I was at a social.event and I made an epic fool of myself as usual and was only asked last minute because she felt sorry for me . I know I'm a mess
Husband is away on business
I've rung the samaritans twice but it just kept ringing I've never phoned the before.
I gave the cab driver all of my money for a very cheap cab ride because I wanted to end it all as money is no use to me ... but I can't do it because of my child
I want to go away for a few days or lock myself away
My child knows I'm a mess and he shouldn't feel this way as my childhood was a mess so shouldn't be passing it on
Its hideous and twice this year I've wanted to end it .. I know that later on I'm going to feel like crap and if I hide in the bedroom he will know its because I can't bring myself to face the day and he will be sad
I dont know what I want from this thread i just want to talk i suppose
I'm hungry too but theres nothing I want to eat .. I have food but cant be bothered to make anything
Thank you