I'm a bit low

[Careradvice2019]

I'm currently sat in the garden feeding cold and smoking ( social smoker)
I got told tonight you're a fucki,ng mess .... I was at a social.event and I made an epic fool of myself as usual and was only asked last minute because she felt sorry for me . I know I'm a mess
Husband is away on business
I've rung the samaritans twice but it just kept ringing I've never phoned the before.
I gave the cab driver all of my money for a very cheap cab ride because I wanted to end it all as money is no use to me ... but I can't do it because of my child
I want to go away for a few days or lock myself away
My child knows I'm a mess and he shouldn't feel this way as my childhood was a mess so shouldn't be passing it on
Its hideous and twice this year I've wanted to end it .. I know that later on I'm going to feel like crap and if I hide in the bedroom he will know its because I can't bring myself to face the day and he will be sad
I dont know what I want from this thread i just want to talk i suppose
I'm hungry too but theres nothing I want to eat .. I have food but cant be bothered to make anything
Thank you

Hello. I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. Please do try the Samaritans again the correct UK number is 126 123. If you can't get through immediately can I suggest that you dial for an ambulance? They are lovely and are trained to get you the help you need. You are not alone,

It can be really hard sometimes and there are people out there who can help and understand and who will support you to feel better and more positive.

Your priority is to get immediate support to protect you and your child - who needs their mum.

Other more experienced MNetters will be along too, to help and advise.

Pick up the phone please.

How are you @Careradvice2019 ? How old is DS ?

Hi Careradvice2019,

We're really sorry to hear you're feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you'll be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real life help and support as well.

We'd also like to point you in the direction of the Mind website - they have a really useful page called Tips for everyday living which may be helpful.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Sending good wishes, OP.

You are more than a bit low, you need support now so DO ring the Samaritans or a local crisis line.

Samaritans phone number is 116 123 from UK - please try and phone again, they listen without judgement