i can't even commit suicide

[Ohshitwhatnext]

Such a fucking failure that I can't even bring myself to do it.
going to see my gp tomorrow to see if I can con them into signing me off work before I get the sack for being so fucking useless.

Please, please don’t feel you are alone. I am in exactly the same boat. If I was brave enough I would have taken an overdose at the weekend but I was scared it would be painful or, worse, it would fail then I’d have to live with even more shame. I went to the doctor and they wouldn’t help as they said I was obviously a strong person. Yes I’m so strong I emailedDignitas at the weekend to see if they could help me. They wouldn’t either. Sometimes it is hard to describe just how horrendously painful loneliness and low self-esteem are. I actually survived cancer and there is not a day goes by I don’t regret it. I am sorry to be such a waste of a life when so many good people don’t make it. I don’t mean to take over your thread, OP. I just want you to know I totally understand just how hard living can be.

Did you manage to get an appointment with the gp?

Sorry just seen you booked in online, when is your appointment?

danni0509, it was today.

The business like doctor gave the OP a sick note for 2 weeks.

yeah today. i'm signed off but the head of my course has emailed me and i have been summoned to see him on wednesday. they are going to throw me off the course aren't they?

Not necessarily.

If your signed off with a stress related issue ant it's through a university/college/whatever the course directors have a duty of care to ensure your well-being.

Maybe he wants to discuss how to make things better for you and support you. I work in health cars and we have had students have all
Different types of placements/hours/dats/weeks to suit their needs and meet their essential 1000 hours. Good luck OP

yeah today. i'm signed off but the head of my course has emailed me and i have been summoned to see him on wednesday. they are going to throw me off the course aren't they?

I think it's far more likely that he would like to know how you are and what can be done to help and support you.

Between now and tomorrow, try and have a little think about what reasonable adjustments may make things a little easier for you after Christmas

1/4 of an hour until the meeting. I'm terrified.

Good luck.

They're here to try and help.

He won't hit you!

I needn't have worried; he had two questions 1) Do you want to do this course or not? and 2) When can we expect to see you in lectures?

5 minutes, job done. Easy.

The actual situation is never half as bad as we work ourselves up about.

You've got two weeks to concentrate on you.

Avoid negative people (family), take yourself to a park, museum or gallery and don't pressure yourself with what you should be doing (coursework, laundry etc).