I feel suicidal. The only things stopping me from going through with it are lack of motivation and the fact that I couldn't bare to leave my six year old son to grow up thinking neither of his parents wanted him (his dad has never even met him). He doesn't deserve that, it's not his fault I brought him into the world and he deserves a good life. I know there are people who could give him a better life than I give him though.
Deep down I have been unhappy for longer than I can even remember, some times are more bearable than others, but just now I think about killing myself several times a day - swallowing pills, crashing the car etc.
Not really sure why I'm posting, but I've been feeling low all day and need to get this out somehow.