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Original poster

Anniversary Coming up - Feeling depressed

48 replies

Quootiepie · 07/08/2006 00:46

Hello...
The baby I should have had would have been 1 on the 10th. Just feeling pretty low right now, worse than I did this time last year.

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pussyinboots · 07/08/2006 00:48

so sorry Quootiepie (((hugs))) hunxxx

Original poster
Quootiepie · 07/08/2006 00:49

thanks x

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Original poster
Quootiepie · 07/08/2006 01:36

bump for nighttime rush...

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pussyinboots · 07/08/2006 01:37

got any plans??

Original poster
Quootiepie · 07/08/2006 01:39

for the 10th?

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pussyinboots · 07/08/2006 01:40

for the anniversary...when is it exactly??

Original poster
Quootiepie · 07/08/2006 01:42

10th of this month. No plans... DH put down for a double at work, so ill just be at home.

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psychomum5 · 07/08/2006 01:46

From what others have told me about these sad times, the first year is always hard. Especially as, sad to say, not everyone has your grief in their thoughts as much anymore. You live it all the time, but for other people, time moves on.

Please except my thoughts for you. And remember in you heart, your daughter is forever with you. be it a whisper thro the tree's, a gust of wind, a butterfly, a beautiful rainbow, a flake of snow....even in the first birdsong of summer

she will always be there, always, forever and a day.

Light a candle for her, and remember your love for her, and she will be there, a heartbeat away.

pussyinboots · 07/08/2006 01:49

I think you should still mark it as a special day although sad it's still happy in another way perhaps just spending some time together as a couple remembering both the positive and negative...do you think that dh doesn't want to deal with this re double work?? doesn't have to be exact date...

Original poster
Quootiepie · 07/08/2006 01:52

think he just forgot. Ill just mark it somehow alone.

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psychomum5 · 07/08/2006 01:57

You really won't need to mark it alone.....you may be on your own at home, but you really won't be alone if you come online to MN. The wonderful ladies here will be wonderful support and will cry with you, as well as laugh with you, and also help remember with you.

It is for people like you that MN becomes the wonderful place it is under all the bubbling hormones. Never ever assume you will be alone.....since I have been back from my time away (thro PC being infected by a virus), I heve seen enough to know that the ladies have huge hearts, and makes sure no-one is alone. Whatever the time too.

pussyinboots · 07/08/2006 01:59

aawww Quootie(((hugs)))still think you should talk to him about how you're feeling hun he probably didn't remeber but it's an important date to you and he should know this xxx

Chandra · 07/08/2006 01:59

Q, Please remind him, men are not good for these things ansd sometimes they hide in their caves when they can't bear the pain to act differently.

But even if you are alone at home, what about lighting a candle and tell your baby that you love him/her a lot and are happy to have had the oportunity of having him/her around for this time as, even if his/her life was short, baby made you very happy?

Many, many heartfelt hugs

Original poster
Quootiepie · 07/08/2006 01:59

after tonight im not sure... to most MNers im "new, or appear to be new" and kinda get ignored. im so sensative aswell... its silly.

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Original poster
Quootiepie · 07/08/2006 02:00

life wasnt short, because it wasnt even born

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pussyinboots · 07/08/2006 02:00

so true psychomum5..

Original poster
Quootiepie · 07/08/2006 02:01

he did remember, i put it in his phone aswell. He just doesnt see it as important I guess.

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pussyinboots · 07/08/2006 02:03

exactly Q she meant alot to you and that's what matters hun... we'll be here for you xxx

Original poster
Quootiepie · 07/08/2006 02:04

thanks x

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psychomum5 · 07/08/2006 02:06

you may be new, but it won't last long. and if you need support and hand holding, then you will get some support.

on the day, if you are alone and need some hugs and help with dealing with how you understandably going to be feeling, then post under the 'miscarriage and bereavement' threads. Yuo will be noticed more in all likelyhood there, and people will know what type of support you are needing.

and also, as sad as it is, you will find that you are most definately not alone....their are many women here who have been thro the same, and will be able to advixe you on how to cope with you feelings, and those of your DH too.

please please don't hide from here because you think you will be ignored. you won't be....it may not be an instant reply, but there will be someone about.

Original poster
Quootiepie · 07/08/2006 02:08

was gonna leave MN after tonight... guess im glad I didnt now. Dont wanna spend Thursday curled up in bed.

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Chandra · 07/08/2006 02:09

I don't know about you, but my baby was "alive" and very much with me since the moment I knew he was there at 5 weeks.

Don't pay attention to the "new or not much around" comment, that was a very unfortunate post whose strenght I can't manage to understand. Besides, I have been around for years and I was also shut up. So please smile, we both may be deleted before dawn.

psychomum5 · 07/08/2006 02:15

ooh...you were talking about something specific said????

If I know MN (and I would like to say I am beginning to rather well now)....people say/type things here in a whole different context to how they mean them, and especially to how they sound in our heads without the ability to see the persons face or hear their tone of voice.

I know myself tho, when low or sensitive, one word can throw me completely and be taken in a whole differnt way to the way it was intended.

Do NOT ever think you need to spend thursday alone because of one comment. I am sure should the writer of whatever was said would be mortified of the way you are feeling now.

Things said on-line are so so so much different to how they sound in real-life, and also, what one will deduct from that one comment, 10 others will detuct 10 other meanings!!!!!

stay here, please. on thursday you will need support....and that will be when you can see the beautiful side the MN has to offer.

Original poster
Quootiepie · 07/08/2006 02:22

maybe. Im so sensative its silly... I cried like a wuss when I got ticked off, and no one else did.

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Original poster
Quootiepie · 07/08/2006 02:24

yeah, ill stay. I dont wanna create (doubt i would anyway) one of those dramatic exits... just i think alot of people on here find me ..."new". Also I dont bother to change my name, so nothing gets hidden either... so most wil prob. think im a loony aswell.

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