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Original poster

Please talk to me about PND, CBT and anti depressants?

104 replies

batterylow · 02/12/2013 12:18

I have had a rough year, rough ten years if I am honest. But since dd2 was ten weeks old it felt like I was living in some kind of ground hog day when every day was impossible and her poor sleep meant I couldn't look forward to evenings either or ever get more than a tiny amount of sleep.

Our family life is really stressful, older child has sn and I knew I didn't feel right but kept thinking its circumstantial, couldn't face the gp due to anxiety about kids being removed, being out on anti depressants making me overweight (I know these two are not equal worries but have not been myself for a while!!)

Dh then had an affair which has been horrible to deal with but on the other hand has forced us both to look at our problems rather than carry on living separate lives in the same house. All sorts of things have been going on and I am not sure what the outcome of my relationship will be but am not making a final decision just yet for various reasons. I am due to start CBT in jan but still haven't been to the gp (self referred to CBT) but feel I am not managing very well and having panic attacks, horrible obsessive thoughts, feel hopeless about at least the immediate future. I know all this is normal considering my dh has betrayed me so badly but I felt so out of it and low before that that I think I could have PND but would the gp say its too late to diagnose this now(baby is 17months)? Would taking anti depressants help with cbt or would it make it less effective? I don't feel like my gp is particularly clued up with MH issues and my anxiety is that they will say as both dh and I are depressed, the children are unsafe?

OP posts:
Original poster
batterylow · 02/12/2013 12:29

Sorry for long op. can I just make that more concise and say I have these questions please?
1- could this be PND and would the gp say its too late to diagnose?
2- is it best to try cbt without anti depressants or would they help?
3- just thought of this one, I am on a high dose of St. John's wort which helps a bit but not enough and panic attacks are still bad, I wonder if I would need to be off it before starting ads? I hate feeling like this.

OP posts:
Avondale · 02/12/2013 12:49

No, it's not too late to diagnose PND. My DC was 18 months. It just means you've been trying to cope with it for too long. It sounds like you have got loads going on and could with something to help. I would definitely recommend going and seeing GP. I think CBT and ADs together would give you the best chance of getting well again. It really helped me.
Why are you worried about your DC being taken away? They would need to have a lot more concerns than you being on ADs to do that.
Good luck

Original poster
batterylow · 02/12/2013 13:50

Thank you, which ads are you on if you don't mind me asking? I have been reading up and I was on ads years ago which I have found out were actually tricyclics which may explain why I gained so much weight on them?

I know the children being taken is probably irrational its just I worry about the fact dh has been seen for depression too so they may think we are both unstable. It's silly as if I was a single parent which is quite possible then it would be the same if I was on them. And if someone said to me that they were worried about this I would think it was a symptom of their anxiety/depression!

OP posts:
Original poster
batterylow · 02/12/2013 14:22

Just called the GP, can't believe I have been meaning to do this for over a year. Got phone appointment in two days so need to keep my nerve till then. After a bit of googling I THINK I would need to be off the St. John's wort for a week so maybe I should stop taking them in preparation? Although am worried I will feel dreadful in the mean time...

OP posts:
Avondale · 02/12/2013 14:54

Fluoxetine. I started on 20mg but went up to 40mg and now back to 20 mg which I'm starting to come off.
Well done for getting CBT and making appointment. These are first steps in getting well and it doesn't matter how long it took the important thing is now you have done it.
I think loads of kids live with parents with depression. They won't take kids of you for that!
I seem to think that you can't take St Johns with ADs but am not a medical person. Perhaps wait until you speak to doctor before doing anything.

NewName123 · 02/12/2013 16:11

don' t come off the st johns wort yet,take advice from your doc about swapping from one to the other. You are liable to have a big crash in mood other wise as the Ad will take a couple of weeks to kick in.
I was on big dose of SJW which was ok. I thought I was fine so came off them and felt like crap for a while, now in fluoxetine and feeling better.

Original poster
batterylow · 02/12/2013 16:49

Thank you both. I wish I could have spoken to the doctor today as am psyched up to get something done.

New name I am on a large dose of it too, it did help initially (started taking it after dh told me what he had done) and so bizarrely I felt a bit better even after that bombshell than I had over the previous year but I think I need something more now. I think I may ask for beta blockers or similar to help with panic when I stop taking it so perhaps I should wait till wed, good plan. I know when I miss a dose it can set me back for a couple of days so it must do something.

OP posts:
NewName123 · 02/12/2013 16:51

with a lot of AD you can just swap from one to another without a break. Think the fluoxetine is stronger than the SJW although that did help too. Hope you get some help x

Original poster
batterylow · 02/12/2013 17:01

Thank you. Have just taken a sjw so am only down by one tablet as I missed an earlier dose but I think it is best to carry on till Wed just in case. Now all I have to do is not chicken out on wed!

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NewName123 · 02/12/2013 19:36

just be wary, when I stopped my SJW I was fine for a couple of weeks then felt awful.

Original poster
batterylow · 02/12/2013 20:32

Oh dear yes I am dreading that. Are you finding the fluoxetine more effective than the sjw?

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NewName123 · 03/12/2013 10:55

yes I think it is stronger than the SJW, some days I feel better than others. Generally I feel calmer and more chatty.
Today I feel tired and un motivated though.

Original poster
batterylow · 03/12/2013 20:23

Sorry to hear you are having a bad day. I am too although my period arrived today too so that explains why the last few days have been so unbearable. Fingers crossed tomorrow is a better day for us both.

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BigArea · 03/12/2013 20:30

Hello batterylow just wanted to agree with the advice given here. Sorry you are having such a tough time. When I was diagnosed I ended up with a combination of ADs (Citalopram first time around, now on Sertraline for a recent relapse) Propanolol (sp) which is a beta blocker and Zopiclone for sleep. I had to wait a while for CBT that I could actually fit in around work and child, but that was awesome when it finally happened and the various tablets helped me to function more normally in the meantime. Good luck going to the doctors and I hope you feel better soon.

NewName123 · 03/12/2013 20:39

yes hope so, I have done nothing today which I don't think is good for me. Tomorrow I have a bit of work on which forces me out of the house. This usually results in me feeling better somehow even though I don't look forward to it.
So you have your Dr apt tomorrow, good luck, let us know how you get on. If in doubt, cry, that always gets their attention !!

Original poster
batterylow · 03/12/2013 21:06

Bigarea thank you, that sounds like what I am hoping, ie that the meds will also help me while I wait for cbt, been feeling desperate so I hope I don't sound too ok on the phone to the GP, I am a control freak I think as I cannot bear professionals to see my weaknesses so always pretend I am fine. In reality this is probably more worrying to them in some ways! Have you had any side effects that have made the meds hard going? I am so scared about weight gain, I know this is silly in the scheme of things but my confidence is so low that it would really affect me.

New name that is exactly how I am with work, I am terrible when I am not doing anything so am probably best at work sometimes although I tend to worry about it the night before (already anxious in advance of a fairly routine meeting tomorrow for example)

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BigArea · 03/12/2013 22:01

Well I lost all bar 7lbs of my baby weight but then put loads on which I always put down to stopping BFing when DD was 10m. But thinking about it I went onto ADs when she was 8m so there is a correlation there, whether it caused the gain who knows... but I think the reason it has stayed on is that I am very inactive!

Original poster
batterylow · 03/12/2013 22:57

Oh dear well I definitely gained weight when on ads before so I think they can do that for some people. I was on lofepramine though which is a tricyclics, was hoping ssris would be better for that.

I have spent this evening talking openly with dh about how bad I feel about the future and our relationship and even I can see that I am not being rational and am not that well(I mean I keep saying things like I have ruined my children's life etc,I think it is normal that I am negative about the relationship right now so I mean the other stuff rather than that) anyway I think I need anti depressants so I need to try not to let the weight gain fears interfere with getting the help I need I guess. God I wish I had seen the gp sooner.

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NewName123 · 04/12/2013 07:38

Hi I don't think I have put on any weight so far. Have had a few side effects. I was taking every other day though so this helped. Felt a bit giddy and very slightly sick sometimes. Not sure about sleep yet, definitely haven't given me insomnia like certain meds have but my sleep has changed. I seem to wake up very easily but then am able to go back to sleep. Have had some increased anxiety in the first few weeks but that has settled now.
I think it is worth s try for you

BigArea · 04/12/2013 12:05

Seriously don't worry about the weight, I cannot say that my weight gain is not just down to greediness/laziness in any case! Totally get what you are saying re your DH/relationship - I went through exactly that v recently with mine which is what prompted me to take a step back and say "is it us that is the problem or am I unwell again". You are doing the right thing in getting as much outside support as possible.

Original poster
batterylow · 04/12/2013 13:11

Still waiting for the Gp to call me and getting fidgety as I really am psyched up to admit how hard this all is. I have consistently told the health visitor I am fine and feel a bit embarrassed now as presumably the gp will tell her?

Worried about the anxiety side effects as I am so paranoid as it is but hopefully in the long run I will feel better. It is almost a relief to be admitting defeat with treating this myself if that makes sense. Just wish I had done it sooner before my relationship went so wrong.

Bigarea do you mean your relationship was the same sort if thing as mine? Are you still in it if you don't mind me asking? I am hoping the ads will help me with the way it has made me feel about myself and to live with some of my choices over the last few years. Would love them to help me stop obsessing over my husbands affair but I think only raising my self esteem will really help with all that.

OP posts:
Original poster
batterylow · 04/12/2013 13:54

Bit disappointed. Gp wanted to see me and can only do so tomorrow. Was really hoping to get something started today but I guess that was unrealistic . And now I actually have to ask for time off which has made me really anxious and also I have to actually face her and talk about this, and will cry which I will find stupidly traumatic I absolutely hate losing control.

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NewName123 · 04/12/2013 13:58

Hi battery, the GP will need to see you face to face to be able to help you. It is better to be open and honest with her. If you try and hold it all in then she won't get a complete picture of what things are like for you.
I would go along and talk frankly with her and if you cry well so be it. She will have had many patients cry in front of her before. x

Original poster
batterylow · 04/12/2013 14:06

I know, it's so silly really I just am not someone who can talk and cry at the same time. And once I start I can't stop because I don't do it often. I am getting paranoid now also that I have some kind of bi polar tendencies having read a thread on here because when I started taking St. John's wort I was quite "up" and kept spending money I didn't have and was drinking a lot, not getting any sleep but still full of energy (opposite to how I am now!!) also I went on a date with a guy from a dating site exactly one week after my husband confessed his affair. I had a good night, it wasn't even as if I was a mess. Maybe it was the adrenaline of it all but it tends to be how I handle extreme stress and I often seem to end up doing bizarre stuff when like that. For example when I broke up with my ex partner I invited a guy I briefly dated two years before that, to stay with me for the weekend, I barely knew him and took him out on a work night out. This is going back years (pre children) but still, I seem to go a bit over confident when under a lot of stress or something.

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NewName123 · 04/12/2013 14:20

why don't you write stuff down before you go to let her read or to read out to her, this might make it easier?