Please talk to me about PND, CBT and anti depressants?

[batterylow]

I have had a rough year, rough ten years if I am honest. But since dd2 was ten weeks old it felt like I was living in some kind of ground hog day when every day was impossible and her poor sleep meant I couldn't look forward to evenings either or ever get more than a tiny amount of sleep.

Our family life is really stressful, older child has sn and I knew I didn't feel right but kept thinking its circumstantial, couldn't face the gp due to anxiety about kids being removed, being out on anti depressants making me overweight (I know these two are not equal worries but have not been myself for a while!!)

Dh then had an affair which has been horrible to deal with but on the other hand has forced us both to look at our problems rather than carry on living separate lives in the same house. All sorts of things have been going on and I am not sure what the outcome of my relationship will be but am not making a final decision just yet for various reasons. I am due to start CBT in jan but still haven't been to the gp (self referred to CBT) but feel I am not managing very well and having panic attacks, horrible obsessive thoughts, feel hopeless about at least the immediate future. I know all this is normal considering my dh has betrayed me so badly but I felt so out of it and low before that that I think I could have PND but would the gp say its too late to diagnose this now(baby is 17months)? Would taking anti depressants help with cbt or would it make it less effective? I don't feel like my gp is particularly clued up with MH issues and my anxiety is that they will say as both dh and I are depressed, the children are unsafe?

[BigArea]

Hmmm, makes me think your previous tablets may not have actually done anything! With Citalopram and the Sertraline I am on now I found a marked improvement within days. Fingers crossed for you experiencing similar. Keep posting, I will check back daily - you are doing really well.

[BigArea]

PS get exactly what you mean re not feeling inferior

[batterylow]

Thanks so much, sorry fell asleep last night, am taking herbal sleeping pills which sometimes work! Yes I wonder about the lofepramine too although I do remember the improvement eventually! Had counselling too though so that could have helped. I used to drink heavily on them and was on other stuff for a bad back at same time which could have affected them.

[BigArea]

Ah maybe that was it then. First tablet in the morning, the wait will be over! Glad you had a good sleep last night. Let us know how you feel tomorrow.

[batterylow]

Thanks bigarea, first dose taken and now having coffee and mince pie to celebrate! Dh just said I seem better since stopping the St. John's wort but I think its more hormones because as my period approaches I tend to get more obsessive and then it all calms down over the few days once its arrived. Feeling a bit unhinged today tbh so hope the tablet doesn't make me too bad initially, think it takes a couple of days for side effects to build, will I find out soon anyway!

[BigArea]

Fingers crossed for you

[batterylow]

Thank you x

[NewName123]

Good luck Battery. I am increasing my dose of fluoxetine now so expect I will be side effecting with you x

[batterylow]

Thanks, how you feeling so far? I thought I was fine then stood up and have felt dizzy and sick ever since. Tired as dd2 never sleeps but feel more tired than usual and just a bit weird, hadn't expected side effects so soon but they are not yet too bad.

[NewName123]

I am feeling a little tired but maybe feeling like that anyway cos I took a sleeping tablet lest night. Yes it is very early for you to be having SE. Mind you the sooner they start the sooner they will be over.

[BigArea]

That's pretty much how I felt, and on day 1 too with both the ADs I've been on. Keep sipping water and have regular snacks - I found it strangely similar to morning sickness in a way - nauseous, light headed and v v tired. Keep at it x

[batterylow]

Thanks both, and yes I agree it is a bit like morning sickness with the tiredness and nausea but hunger at same time. Feelin better as the day has gone on, quite paranoid and felt vulnerable earlier when we took the children out so made sure we avoided busy places but tbh that is the depression more likely as have been like that a while now and a lot of that is because I worry about people not being nice/understanding about my oldest child's behaviour. It's not normal for me though before all this I was much less bothered.

[NewName123]

yuck, had the night sweats and anxiety last night, crap night sleep

[batterylow]

Oh no poor you, what time do you take yours is it evening?

So far I feel ok, bit of a tight feeling in my head and nausea that comes and goes but not awful. Work tomorrow will be the test though. Are you able to take it easy today?

[NewName123]

Hiya, been rushing round but sat down now until school pick up. Saw Dr this morn and have agreed to stay on the 20mg for now.
I take it first thing.
Yes I remember the tight head sort of feeling, can't really put a finger on what it is really. I had some jaw clenching for the first couple of weeks but that has got better.,
Sometimes work takes your mind off of things?

[batterylow]

Just had a call from work, I have to do something really really stressful tomorrow and its something build speaking related that I would have found incredibly scary anyway. I feel sick, its the worst timing and can't be off sick now even if I was ill as it would look deliberate.

[NewName123]

Oh know Battery. Can no one else stand in for you, bloody hate stress at work. I have got to work somewhere tomorrow that I find really stressful and I wish I had never agreed to it now.
Is the speaking in the morning tomorrow so you can get it over and done with?

[batterylow]

I will have to do it, no one else is able to. Feel sick and shakey and I will have to be confident and talking publicly for an hour and half was nervous about work as it was, its such bad timing. Thinking I will have to take my ad a bit later tomorrow so the side effects don't hit me till after, I they seem to kick in about two hours after taking so I will take late morning instead.

Oh god, feel like crying about it, or leaving work but I know that is a bit dramatic! Sorry you are in the same boat, if only these things could be in a couple of weeks when side effects calm down eh?!

[NewName123]

Have you done it before?
Yes take your AD later in the day if you think it will help SE.
Just think this time tomorrow it will be all over. This place tomorrow just makes me anxious. They are all so perky and positive and I just want to run a mile and hide. I am on a short contract and would love to leave there but it is a few extra quid in the bank.
If you don't enjoy your job have you thought of moving or asking to get out of the public speaking bit.
Best of luck xx

[batterylow]

Thanks , I am on a short contract too. I don't usually do public speaking which is why I am feeling so worried, I used to take Valium for it at university as hate it that much. Still, at least its not all the time. You are right though, I cannot wait till this time tomorrow. Same for you, hope yours goes well and I know what you mean about perky people!! They scare me!

Feel anxious this evening, think the work thing has thrown me and I am back to obsessing about my dd's affair and the fact I am stuck with this tainted relationship etc. it's almost as if the ad has worn off, I will see how things feel tomorrow after I take it a bit later on.

[BigArea]

Oh battery, good luck tomorrow - find a friendly face and speak just to that person. Keep breathing, refer to notes and don't panic.

[NewName123]

morning, here's to it being later soon x

[NewName123]

It's later yay!!
How did you get on today Battery?

[batterylow]

Thank you both and it went ok in the end as far less people turned up than expected and I somehow was calm. How did your thing go newname?

BUT I have been really really ill today, took my tablet after the speaking bit at about twelve, had a quick sandwich and a coffee and drank plenty of water with it then went into the next work thing I was doing, fine until about two when I started to feel absolutely dreadful. Went and sat quietly in the office and about half three started feeling worse, ended up spending the rest of the afternoon dizzy and so nauseous that I was hanging over the toilet till home time and was barely safe driving home. Lay on the bathroom floor a while at home and now beginning to feel more human though still very dizzy and waves of nausea so got a bucket handy. This is no good with two small children, is this normal do we think ? Maybe because I took it later on?

[BigArea]

Oh that doesn't sound good - maybe see if you can get a callback from a GP tomorrow to discuss? Glad your thing at work was ok though.