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Original poster

my name says it all

33 replies

icannotdothis · 18/06/2012 20:13

Need to end this all

My head has gone

Too much panic

My heart hurts

I have had enough this won't get better

My husband and 3 children deserve.better

My decision.is.made i just need to plan again

Thank you all for your thoughts and kind words on here x

OP posts:
Sittinginthesun · 18/06/2012 20:17

Hi - sorry, I don't know your story, but I'm here to chat. Are you on your own. Is your OH around?

ImNotAnsweringIt · 18/06/2012 20:18

Your children love and need you. You can get better. Please don't do anything tonight. Please.

TheScottishPlayer · 18/06/2012 20:20

Keep taking here Icabbotdothis. I don't know your story, but MN is great for support. Has something happened today?

lovesthesun · 18/06/2012 20:20

Please dont do anything silly. I am here too if you want to chat x

littlemissfatpiglet · 18/06/2012 20:21

You can do this, and your children and husband love you and would be absolutely devastated if you did anything silly, they would never, ever get over it. That is not the answer, you getting help is however. Please keep talking. Tell us what has happened today to make you feel this way.

Nilgiri · 18/06/2012 20:22

You've been through this before, haven't you? Can you give your mental health team a call, or get yourself into A&E?

Acaciaavenue · 18/06/2012 20:22

Your decision isn't made or you wouldn't be posting on here. You know you shouldn't do it. Don't do it. There is more. A lot, lot more that you can get to.

Acaciaavenue · 18/06/2012 20:23

Do you have the number for your county's mental health crisis team? Where are you?

Original poster
icannotdothis · 18/06/2012 20:25

I have been here before failed attempt in April

Just thought writing it down would feel more real

OP posts:
Acaciaavenue · 18/06/2012 20:26

Whereabouts are you?

Original poster
icannotdothis · 18/06/2012 20:26

I love my family so much yet they deserve so much better

OP posts:
Frontpaw · 18/06/2012 20:26

Don't post and run. Keep talking. If you decided to post, there is part of you who wants to talk.

lovesthesun · 18/06/2012 20:27

Your family need you

wizzler · 18/06/2012 20:30

Talk to someone, please

SocksOnFire · 18/06/2012 20:31

You are not in as much pain as you will leave them in. I have been in your dark place and now it chills me to the bone to think how close I came to leaving them motherless.

Please keep talking.xxx

Original poster
icannotdothis · 18/06/2012 20:32

I keep thinking of ways to end my life

Yet i just can not i thought writing it woukd give me strengh

OP posts:
Original poster
icannotdothis · 18/06/2012 20:33

I am such a burden on my family they need better

I am havung work health and past abuse issues and i SI

OP posts:
SocksOnFire · 18/06/2012 20:34

Writing is giving you strength. The strength you need to hang on in there through the personal hell you are in, your dc need you x

geniuswater · 18/06/2012 20:36

I know you feel so so low now and can not see another way out but If you do something to hurt yourself or worse your family and children will suffer for the rest of their lives. You are loved and needed no matter how bad you feel your children NEED you. Please please contact some support in RL - Samaritans 08457 90 90 90 (uk) 1850 60 90 90 (roi) or your local mental health crisis team. You can get through this and it will not feel this bad forever. Please do not harm yourself xx

whydoialwaysgetitwrong · 18/06/2012 20:37

You arent a burden, my DC is in the same boat, them committing suicide is my biggest fear.

I love my DC and despite everything DC throws at me, while DC works through stuff, I wouldnt want a life without DC.

whydoialwaysgetitwrong · 18/06/2012 20:40

have you found this thead, the ladies there are wonderful, and they will understand exactly how you feel Support-thread-for-survivors-of-childhood-sexual-abuse

Frontpaw · 18/06/2012 20:42

Sorry but you can't.

You have children and they need their mum - they can't understand what you are going through, and if you leave them, they never will. Can you imagine not having a mum growing up? To feel that your mum didn't care/love you enough to stay around? I know tha'ts not what your feel, but it's how they will process it.

What will help you through this? When in your life were you happy/strong?

loveautumn · 18/06/2012 20:47

It can get better much better, I have been down that road and it is so savage, it hurts so deeply. You are here for a reason whether you know that or not. Please know that there are difficulties in life some larger some smaller the hurt is dreadful when it is felt but we can recover and life can improve for you and those around you. Just as there is dark there is light, sorrow, happiness we live here in a world of opposites kindness, hatred, keep on make milestones. love

Sittinginthesun · 18/06/2012 20:50

Are you still chatting, OP? Can you phone the samaritans and speak to someone in RL?

showtunesgirl · 18/06/2012 20:52

OP, is there anyone in RL you can speak to?

If not, we're here!