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Mental health

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Original poster

Rubbish things people say

31 replies

scarecrow22 · 10/08/2011 22:31

Having only ventured into this forum recently apologies if this is old hat. Thought it would be therapeutic for us to share the idiotic things people say about MH, though sometimes I envy their lack of understanding.
My favourite, so to speak, is still my mum saying that I "cannot expect to be happy all the time"...

OP posts:

BeckyBendyLegs · 11/08/2011 12:39

My favourite is a good friend of mine, bless her for being a bit dim, saying 'I was surprised when you told me you had post-natal depression because you seem so normal'.

lovecorrie · 11/08/2011 12:53

God! where to start? 'We all get fed up sometimes', 'don't be silly, you'll got a lovely husband and three gorgeous children' ' If you'd had my life you'd know what depression was' 'oh I've suffered from depression, isn't it awful - it goes though'. Just a few from my mother

scotchmist · 11/08/2011 17:54

It really gets me going when anyone says "well you will just have to snap out of it" if only it were that easy eh
my mother talking about people with depression full stop, she refers to them as "them antidepressents " oh and according to her PND doesnt exist, its all in your mind, they didnt have PND in her day or PMS.

GetDownYouWillFall · 11/08/2011 17:54

There's the classics of:

"Oh I am so depressed" when a person's day has gone slightly off plan.

And:

"Just snap yourself out of it" / "just go do something nice, that will cheer you up".

scotchmist · 11/08/2011 17:55

oops x posted

GetDownYouWillFall · 11/08/2011 17:58

So true though.

lovecorrie · 11/08/2011 18:51

'why do you need to still take those pills though? You've got a nice job now'. My mum is fabulous, she really is

PeggyCarter · 11/08/2011 19:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chocattack · 11/08/2011 22:48

Probably my all-time favourite: "What have you got to be depressed about?"

lovecorrie · 12/08/2011 10:19

^^ oh yes, very common one that..

LesserOfTwoWeevils · 14/08/2011 21:42

When I was anorexic, my DB told me to stop being silly. DF said I should snap out of it because I was affecting his health.
I had an aunt who was bipolar. He told her to pull herself together.

macavitythemysterycat · 14/08/2011 21:55

My so called 'DP', "Do some star jumps". Twat.

Namechangeoshame · 14/08/2011 21:58

Not about myself, but a friend commenting about a mutual (extremely wealthy and well-supported) friend who'd been hospitalised with PND "I don't know what she's got to be post-natally depressed about".

Words failed me.

Original poster

scarecrow22 · 15/08/2011 08:20

Hear hear to some of those :-S
Another from DF was "you don't look ill"
I should record for history (or possible family identification!) that both my parents have been hugely supportive, apart from about ADs.

OP posts:

fedupandtired · 15/08/2011 10:53

On talking to my sister in law about bipolar she said "well everyone gets like that, it's normal"

NanaNina · 15/08/2011 23:19

Yes the one that gets me most is "well we all have bad days"......aaaaaaaargh.

"You're the last person I thought would get depression"
"What you need is a holiday, bit of sun would do you the world of good"

I could go on............but am too tired!

DisgustedofTumbridgeWells · 15/08/2011 23:45

"if you're going to jump of a bridge make sure you do it properly, cos you don't want to end up in a wheelchair"

my own mother

NanaNina · 16/08/2011 19:06

Nasty nasty thing to say to your disgustedof TW. Could she be the reason for your mental ill health by any chance.

racingmind · 18/08/2011 15:25

"Right. So what exactly are you expecting me to do about it?"- this from a CPN leaning back in her chair with her arms and legs folded, looking me up and down when I was suffering from really bad depression and had just been asked to try and describe how I felt to her.

There is no other branch of healthcare where this question/ attitude would be acceptable other than in mental health.

"Don't go dissolving into tears again, that will get you nowhere with me my girl"- this from a GP during same episode of depression.

I was also told by a mental health nurse when I was admitted to a mother and baby unit that I was "hysterical" because she heard me sobbing because I felt so bad about being in there with my child.

People with mental health problems get routinely treated like shit by professionals who are supposed to be there to help them. The catch 22 is if you complain people tend not to listen, because lets face it, you're the nutjob right? I speak as someone who has also worked extensively in mental health as well as having my own problems. I have probably forgotten more about mental health than the girl who described me as hysterical has had time to learn yet, but in that situation you feel powerless to stand up for yourself and you are just told it's all part of your illness if you take offence anyway.

I don't want to rant, the psychiatrists in the unit treated with with great respect and I'm not knocking the whole profession- there are some great people out there. Just saying my worst experiences of stupid things people say have been from professional health care workers.

Chocattack · 18/08/2011 22:39

That's shocking racingmind . Glad you've come across some great people too.

Spatz · 19/08/2011 15:35

DH has recently been diagnosed as bipolar and has been an in-patient at least 5 times in the last two years - including being sectioned and when he tried to get MIL to understand more about it she read the info and then responded with 'well everyone has their ups and downs' and 'but you're better now aren't you'.

Give me strength!

NanaNina · 19/08/2011 21:17

I was actually told to "pull myself together" by a nursing assistant on the psych ward I was in last year. Another NA told me to "cheer up" as she gaily swished past me. Another one told me that I couldn't stay on the ward long term and had to get used to going home. I was having trouble with the home to hospital part of discharge. As if I wanted to stay on the ward longterm. Mind I was well enough to tell her where to get off!
Another NA "let's face it, we all have our bad days"
One sunny Sat morning I was sitting in the garden feeling utterly utterly terrible and hearing the nurses talking about BBQs etc and all I wanted to do was die. A male staff nurse asked me how I was and I told him - he said "what's your forward plan" - I said "do you really want to know" "yes" he said - so I told him I wanted to get rid of myself. At that he walked off into the office I guess to record what I had said, but no words of comfort.

Psych wards are good at making sure you get your meds and eat and of course you are relieved of all pressures, but talking to you, NO, not until you are well enough to chat about the usual things, kids, weddings etc etc.

Sorry I am going off track a bit but I do like this thread.

natsyloo · 19/08/2011 21:48

On feeding back to my NCT ante natal tutor re: PND and it not coming up in our course "Well we did touch on it but I didn't want to dwell on it and bring the group down."

And we wonder why there is such an issue with stigma and mental health. Scuse me as I look for the nearest carpet to brush it under...

ThatsNotYours · 19/08/2011 21:56

"it's a case of mind over matter"! Doh.

dontwantanickname · 21/08/2011 12:29

'Pull yourself together and sort your life out' from a policeman as i was giving a statement about a violent assault i had suffered, causing me severe anxiety alongside the then undiagnosed bipolar. Really patronising and unhelpful.

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