Westminstenders: Magical Thinking

[RedToothBrush]

This week has seen reports of the government editing footage of Johnson to avoid embarrassing questions about the early government response.

We've been asked to accept that the rules were different to what we were told to excuse the law breaking behaviour of a senior government advisor. As Johnson said he was being a responsible father (as if Johnson knows what this is) and it wasn't as if he was visiting a lover (this Johnson would know all about). Let's be honest Johnson is the master of brazening out controversy.

We also have the ERG complaining they were lied to by Gove about the new Withdrawal Agreement and the border in the Irish Sea which surprises precisely no one else.

They appear to be a little upset by the Cummings debarkable too.

Methinks the man doth protest too much

DGR I’m rather fond of the Trabant
What a load of old tosh he is spouting

Stumbling as he reads....

5 miles.
Or 2.
3 or 4.
Something like that.

Sounds like Trump now.

This is bring like fucking Jackanory.

How much bollocks is this Barnard Castle story???

Had a little test drive, jaysus it gets worse

This is infuriating. He seems to have completely missed what is pissing everyone off. This may all be true (although I doubt it), but we all have some kind of circumstances. You expected the rest of us to stay at home and suck it up

I drove for roughly half an hour and found myself at Barnard Castle, "To see if I could drive safely..."

Fucking Liar.

He admits going to Barnard Castle. FFS

This is quite the story.

What a load of bollocks!

Drown them with brain-numbing details.
Genius.

Sounds like a police statement.

Stuttering and shifty
My fiance says "he's talking out of his arse"

30 miles in half an hour, but with dodgy eyesight from the fever????

Who is this expert medical adviser who told him that eh was OK to return to work despite still having symptoms??

Claptrap.

He really is an arrogant bastardised who thinks he can decide which if any rules get needs to follow.

He's admitting going out when they should have been isolating several times. Ffs.

His sincerity is touching.

Not.

"I'm special" is the gist of it.

"The legal rules inevitably do not cover all circumstances...."

And again it's the media's fault for "Targetting" his home.

(The media may take exception to this line of reasoning.)

He is special because the rest of us do not feel our home is under threat while we are self isolating away from all our family network.

Autocarrot bastaradised = bastard

• although both can fit

(a) If you are in a hole, stop digging

(b) When apologising, less is more

They obviously know what the other sightings are because they have been written into this story.

......Wait.

I left my London home because it was a target, then returned to it in case my sister's home became a target.

"I was told to ask the people in this order: Laura first..."