Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated! Sorry, this will be long.
My dad had a stroke in May and spent around a month in hospital. Although he hasn’t lost the use of his limbs, he is now very frail and has vision problems caused by the stroke.
He was discharged home, where he lives alone in a two-storey house. There are several steps up to the front door, more steps throughout the back garden, and the main bathroom is upstairs. Downstairs, there is only a toilet with a tiny sink. A bed was set up in the living room and carers were arranged several times a day to administer his many medications.
I live overseas and initially had to rely on family and friends for updates, as Dad was very confused and I couldn’t depend on what he was telling me. He asked my mum how her dad was, even though he died several years ago, and asked me where Mum lives now, despite her having lived in the same house since the 1970s.
After returning home, Dad repeatedly fell, was extremely forgetful and wasn’t eating properly. We don’t know whether he had become used to being given three meals a day in hospital, couldn’t be bothered to prepare food, or simply forgot to eat. People would visit him, but he often couldn’t remember that they had been there.
I booked a flight over to help him and make the house safer, but before I arrived he fell again, breaking his collarbone and splitting his head open. He was readmitted to hospital. He also has type 2 diabetes, and his HbA1c was 18 when he was admitted.
When I arrived two weeks ago, I spoke to the ward staff about what should happen next and explained how worried I was about him returning home. One member of staff referred to his previous discharge as a “failed discharge”, so at least it seems to be recognised that sending him home was the wrong decision.
He was moved to a hospital rehabilitation centre two weeks ago. He expected to receive regular physiotherapy to rebuild his strength and stamina, as he has lost a great deal of weight and muscle. Unfortunately, very little rehabilitation seems to be happening. He spends most of the day sitting in his room and is not allowed to leave without supervision. We can take him for short walks or longer trips in a wheelchair, but he is becoming extremely frustrated and bored.
He has apparently had a couple of exercise sessions, but he can’t remember them and insists they never happened.
An occupational therapist called me on Saturday and said she had tried to complete a Mental Capacity Assessment, but Dad wasn’t interested in participating. She said he seemed more focused on the drink she had made him than answering her questions. Someone tried again two days later, but he apparently refused.
Dad told me that someone had spoken to him that day, but she spoke so quietly that he couldn’t understand her. His hearing is very poor, even with hearing aids. I have told him that if anyone tries again, he must explain clearly if he cannot hear or understand them.
The OT understands that I am only here for another couple of weeks, although I will return next month, and she is trying to move things forward. My biggest concern is that Dad will be found to have capacity and will choose to return home, despite having told the OT himself that he does not believe he would be safe there.
He has less than £13,000 in savings, receives a pension but no other benefits, and does not own any property or significant assets.
I am struggling to get clear answers, as I can ask two people the same question and receive two completely different responses. The OT seems very helpful, but I don’t know what else I should be doing, what assessments or funding I should be asking for, or what benefits I could apply for on Dad’s behalf.
With his permission, I am also in the process of arranging Lasting Power of Attorney.
For anyone who has been through a similar situation, do you have any advice about what I should be asking for or doing next?
Thank you!