Is this lack of communication normal when a parent moves to respite care?

[Ghostlyglow]

My partner's dad has been discharged from hospital to respite care today. The lack of information is really concerning me and I don't know if it's usual or not. Can anyone with similar experiences help? He will be self funding but nobody has asked about money. My partner was given the name of the care home and that's it.
Nobody has contacted him to say his dad's OK or anything. They haven't asked for any clothes or anything - he's just gone there with the stuff he had in hospital with him.My partner is reluctant to "interfere" as he puts it but it just doesn't seem right to me. It's not my dad so there's not much I can actually do but I'm concerned.
Does anyone know if this is how things usually go?

This is the problem when you are a good person, it’s hard to just stand by . But some men seem more than able to manage it.

You sound like a wonderful family @BrickBiscuit
The family dynamic here is rather different, but also because DP is an only child and his parents have become (their choice really) increasingly isolated as they have aged. They are also very unprepared (also as far as I can see, their choice) for their old age.
The fact that all this has now fallen on DP is ...well, a lot. I have my own thoughts on all this obviously, above and beyond those I've shared in this thread but dwelling on those does not seem helpful. I honestly feel like everything will come crashing down at some point.
I don't know.
Thank you for your reply, not rambling at all, very helpful.

He just wants be involved in everything, all the time @Coralsunset . It's driving me mad tbh and our own "life admin" is suffering because of it I admit because I'm exhausted! I feel like it's a waste of time us both doing everything because it doesn't actually save any time and I feel like a spare part! Also I end up getting frustrated and butting in and taking over and then regretting that 🤦🏼‍♀️ it's such a mess but I really don't want this to turn into a post about me "poor me" etc.

No @Fiftyandme I don't believe they have. DP told them his dad will be self funding (which he is because there are some savings and a house) but I'm really concerned because social services have just accepted that info and obviously the home will just be happy if someone is paying, I suppose. His parents have joint bank accounts though (which in my opinion should have been separated long ago in preparation for circumstances such as this, but what do I know) and I'm wondering if it's because it's currently classed as respite care. I don't know. I can't really get too involved though because I obviously don't have any say in someone else's parents finances.

You need to be less available. Take some control back. He doesn’t get to insist on anything.

Well he does @Coralsunset
I really don't want to make this thread about me, but thanks.

Thank you. It's not all roses - we avoid staying in each others houses as we drive each other mad, and living in different cities and even continents is great for keeping out of each other's hair. However we are close and loving and don't allow schisms to develop. We seem to have this thing of unquestioningly stepping up in times like this. We just do it, no matter what. DP's family is exactly the same.

if I were DP, I’d suggest to his parents, or if he has financial poa, I would set up a separate bank account or savings account in his mother’s name, and put 50% of their savings into it now. I have heard that say they had £20,000 in savings in a joint account, the local authority would insist £10,000 was used to pay for his father’s care, but then when the savings got down to £10,000, the local authority would say half, £5,000 was his and could be used to pay for his care. It’s better to protect his mother’s half share now. I can’t see any downside to it?

I agree @LathkillDale but it's not my call. I think their finances should have been separated several years ago, and I have expressed this opinion more than once. Not my decision.