DF is 79 and still doing well...when does old age kick in

[theapi]

DF is one of life's doers. He doesn't sit still and he's always looking to keep busy, his car is cleaned every week, the grass is mowed twice a week as well as neighbours, and he's so keen to help he's actually scared off his young neighbours by giving them "too many suggestions" as he put it, cringe!

Anyway, he is nervous of turning 80. Presumably because it means he is officially old. We've found that he has started aging a little more in the last couple of years, he has pains in his legs and he's a little more wobbly but otherwise he's in good shape.

When did the men in your lives start to turn more frail?

Dad became quite frail at 91

DH has been very frail since he hit 80. DF, at 90, is in better nick but pulled down in recent years by back pain.

Impossible to know and no need to worry.... as it is unknowable and uncontrollable

My mum was healthy and happy until 82 when she died suddenly (heart)

My dad is 88 and living completely independently, but am looking to help him move to sheltered accommodation as is ageing quickly now

My uncle died at 50

You just don't know OP

It is good your dad is still active and cares about things, things like that keep people going longer imo

60 and gone by 66 😢

My grandad is 98 and was living independently but fell and needed hip operation last week. He was sending emails day after operation so probably no cognitive effects but I wonder how he is going to with reduced mobility.

My days is 79, he's had a stoma fitted after bowel cancer and then two years later a triple bypass. He's on holiday on his own in Turkey at the moment and is contemplating it being his final foreign holiday. But I doubt it will be, unless his insurance is so high he refuses to pay it. He's in a band, has been since he was 15 and just him and his 1 mate are left from the original 5 band mates that went to school together. They still play as a duo twice a week and it bumps his state pension up. He always doing DIY, has a boat he lives in part time that he's doing up . He's still up and down ladders and refused to let anybody do anything.. But I can definitely see he's ever so slightly starting to slow down.

My dad never got frail. He was 82 when he died, he just dropped dead. Until that day he was still really active.

My dad is 79, had a triple heart bypass last year. Supposedly retired but the man just does not stop!!!! He looks after the house/garden. Goes lawn bowls, tenpin bowling, he's in a walking group, and still swims 3 miles a week. His mum was very very active too. Think its just in the genes x

Dad started having falls mid 80s and got progressively more frail from then.
Mum is 86, physically very well and needs support because of her alzheimers ( really showed from about 80). Doesn't need personal care.
FIL got frail early 80s.
MILhad a severe stroke at 76 and instantly went from hale and hearty to severely disabled.

Dad is 87 and perfectly fit and healthy. GDad lived to mid 90s and was never frail at all. Still had 3 allotments when he died.

My father was fine until the age of 82. My mother was quite frail from 75.

I would be encouraging him to downsize and find a "community" type housing where he could befriend a few people, still be independent himself and maybe have a few clubs. THe more he keeps exercise up the better but he needs to be aware of the risks of falls etc as they can have a significant impact around now and then he is suddenly incapacitated and needs help with his normal stuff and it may not be so easy to do. So maybe somewhere with a warden but still a bit of garden or club where he can do some communal gardening still able to clean his car etc.

Everyone's different, it's luck of the draw I think.

Compare Joe Biden (81) who seems like a proper elderly man to Mick Jagger (80) who is literally sprinting and jumping around stages

DF is 86 and was still playing football and walking 4 or 5 miles daily six months ago. Very suddenly he's become very frail and is showing early signs of dementia. It's come as a huge surprise.

My Mum was ok living on her own without any help except for a fortnightly cleaner and occasional gardener until she was 89, but this was with shopping delivered and being taken out to things like appointments or the occasional family lunch. She couldn't go out alone after about the age of 87 maybe. She died this year at 92.

My mother is 91 and slowing down a little the last 2 or 3 years but still lives alone, very independent, very with it, still going strong.

In my experience, it depends entirely on the person. Genetics obviously play a big part in how we age but so, obviously, does lifestyle.

My dad worked in a hard physically demanding job all his life. He also smoked heavily & enjoyed a pint or three. He developed heart disease & type 2 diabetes & was a knackered old man in poor health by his mid 70s.

FIL lived a very different life. He worked in a bank, never drank or smoked & always looked after himself. He’s now in his early 90s and is still as fit as a fiddle and mentally very sharp. He still drives every day, lives independently & does a lot of voluntary work for local charities. He’s amazing.

My own father began to look old at around 77, nothing in particular just smaller and older. My FIL is 82 this year and it's only very recently he's looking "officially old". Everyone is different I suppose.

My dad is in pretty good shape at 87. He walks a lot and does voluntary work (chair of the patient participation group for the local GP surgery). But FIL started to go downhill in his late 70s.

It was about 78 for my father. But it depends so much on the individual.

My dad will be 90 this year and is still doing well. A bit frailer physically than he was five years ago, but totally sharp mentally.

My Dad was fit as a fiddle at 82. Still driving, doing all DIY for himself and us. Lived a fairly healthy life, never smoked, drank very little, had a sweet tooth.
Started to feel lethargic. Went for blood tests, admitted with anaemia and died 12 weeks later of cancer. No symptoms.
Completely out of the blue.

My Dad came down to see us just before a Christmas bringing down with him a rose he dug up whilst he was in the garden painting a fence.

He went out on New Year’s Eve, was admitted to hospital 5th January and died of liver and bowel cancer on January 10th, about a month from his 85th birthday.

How long is a piece of string.
At midday on the 9th August 2020 mum was fit, healthy and active.
two hours later she was paralysed, unable to speak and left in a wheelchair for the rest of her life.
it could happen tomorrow, it might never happen

💓