DF is 79 and still doing well...when does old age kick in

[theapi]

DF is one of life's doers. He doesn't sit still and he's always looking to keep busy, his car is cleaned every week, the grass is mowed twice a week as well as neighbours, and he's so keen to help he's actually scared off his young neighbours by giving them "too many suggestions" as he put it, cringe!

Anyway, he is nervous of turning 80. Presumably because it means he is officially old. We've found that he has started aging a little more in the last couple of years, he has pains in his legs and he's a little more wobbly but otherwise he's in good shape.

When did the men in your lives start to turn more frail?

My dad had a mild heart attack and stent at 74. He's 75 and out walking the dog, gardening all day. I wouldn't say he is frail but he does get tired in the evenings. He's on various tablets for blood pressure and gout and has a recurring UTI. Mentally incredibly sharp.

I anticipate its the beginning of the end physically which sounds awful but it's the only way I can mentally cope with the idea he may not always be here. I hope he's still knocking around at 90, that would be amazing.

DM is 85. He still drives , has foreign holidays and runs her 4 bed house .She has now got a gardener and cleaner. She could do some herself but she's out gallivanting with her pals too much!

MIL was old at 71 , she was a sedentary smoker. DM no signs of slowing down until early nineties when she had to give up hill-walking. She was always fit and active with a healthy diet. Lifestyle often really does impact how you can live the last decade of your life.

My dad is 82, defiantly slowing down, he doesn't go very far anymore, can still drive but mainly gets cabs, him and his partner go out to lunch a few times a week that's about it now. He has a lot of minor health issues but nothing serious yet.
I finally convinced him last year to stop being so stubbon and throw money at his problems so now he has a cleaner and a gardener. He's not struggling for money but was struggling to keep house clean.
My mum died very suddenly in her early 60s.

He sounds like my grandad, he made it to 101 and was independent and well until a few months before his death. 2 grandmas in their 90s before they started getting ill health that meant they were no longer independent

My dad is 89 and he delivers meals on wheels to 'the old folks' yet most are probably younger than him!

My DF is looking old and frail at 80 but it happened suddenly due to chemo.

He'd been slowing down for a while but suddenly looks much older.

DF celebrated turning 90 last month by walking to the swimming pool, swimming a mile and walking home again. He did say that it is taking longer and he thinks he might need to cut back to half a mile a time soon. He's looking at Tai Chi classes as he thinks that the work on balance etc will help "when he gets old".... His mother died in her 90s having been active until the last (heart attack).

DM (87) on the other hand has been declining with Parkinsons for some years and is pretty frail.

My dad died recently at 93.

He never became frail. He used to walk an hour a day, lifted weights and managed 2 large gardens on his own. He was still driving. He kept active mentally too, did the Telegraph crossword every day, always had a book on the go and was obsessed with news. He loved nothing more than a political debate. It helped that his hearing never deteriorated so he didn’t experienced the isolation that can cause.

Totally depends. DGM was up a step ladder washing her own windows and cycling 5 miles a day at 86. Her body was still going strong when dementia hit. She was physically fit at 97 when she died.
FIL was frail and doddery when he died at 82, but he was largely sedentary. My own DF was still working in a physical job at 74. He only went downhill with the isolation of lockdown. He’s still physically okay but definitely not as he was now he’s less active.

My dad got to 87 then had a bad fall and it all went downhill from there. He got to 94 when he died but his health did change drastically from the fall.

His sister is 94 and her health changed four years ago when diagnosed with heart failure and has been in hospital twice but apart from that she appears to be pretty ok.

My Dad is dying of cancer age 79. He was very fit and active at 77 and I think that would have continued if it hadn’t been for the evil that is oesophageal cancer.

My dad was fit,well and riding his bike to work until he became very very ill at the age of 82. To the Drs amazement,he recovered,and although it took a few months,was back riding his bike to work again. ( The physio said that he'd never walk independently again).
He carried on working,but had to get a mobility scooter after he fell off his bike aged 84. He seemed to become frailer after that,but carried on working until he died of sepsis at 85.

I'd echo what other posters have said,being active seems to help enormously with aging/ fitness/ fall avoidance.

in my experience (73 and frail) it's to do with those things that happen in your life that are outside your control. So, my sister and I (she's four years younger, and not at all frail) have fared differently health wise. We are both, I guess comfortably off in our retirement years, we had the same type of up bringing and subsequent lives.

However, I've had cancer three times since my 50's and I have brittle asthma. My sister has enjoyed pretty good health throughout her life, thank goodness.I

So, fragility comes when it comes.

My 77 year old dad was diagnosed with Alzheimers early last year and in the last 6 months or so he has become old. He's physically still fit - he climbs mountains, runs, cycles and goes to the gym, but the emotional knocks of the diagnosis and loss of independence when he gave up his driving license have hit him hard. A couple of injuries have slowed him down in the last few months. He's confused now and that ages him too. It has felt very rapid. He never drank or smoked, ate a fantastic diet and has been unlucky. His sister was similar and didn't make it to 70, cancer got her. I get that lifestyle is important but I worry that my dad's strong body will buy him a long time at the end when it's not fun for him at all.

Varies wildly doesn't it? Some people decline for years mentally or physically or sometimes both. Some people drop dead at a young age after being seemingly healthy. Some live for many years in a fragile state. Lifestyle can influence but is not a definite determinant. Lucky of the draw really isn't it?

My dad is 86, still walks miles, does all his own housework, lawn etc. he takes no medications at all. Just recently slowing a little and looking a bit stooped.

My grandad is 96 and his nickname in the family is Peter Pan 💖 sadly my dad passed unexpected when he was 51

Df is 84, has a girlfriend who he is travelling around with. He was married to my DM for 51 years but she died 9 years ago.
He walks miles , spends hours in the garden but recently told my sister that he realised he can’t do the whole garden in one day anymore!! 😂

My dad was very active till his mid 90s.

My parents are still relatively young, 62 and 64. My dad being 64 is very active and full of energy. My mum at only 62 is permanently exhausted, can barely hear and has terrible memory issues so I am very concerned for her especially if she is like this now.
As for my grandparents, my paternal grandmother died at only 70 and still have maternal grandparents. One fairly well at 87 and the other, very frail, falls a lot and in a lot of pain at 82.

My dad is tiny and looks old but at 78 he still works and walks 7 miles a day. He follows politics and is a feminist. He believe men are ruining the world and are to blame for all the shit. His mum lived until 93. She was about 4 feet and a whirlwind.

DM is about 72 and in poor health and struggles to understand the tech of today's world. Her brothers, alcoholics, died in their 60s, 50s and 40s.

I noticed the following as people age. The people who kept fit, watched their weight, ate well, read, knew what was happening in the world, had friends, were involved in groups and did crosswords/sudoku generally did better with both their physical and cognitive health long term.

I know people who were very overweight, did not walk much, possibly smoked or drank heavily for years and once they hit their late 40's or early 50's were diagnosed with type 2 diabetes or had some from of underlying health issues.

People got to 60/65 who were active they walked say 2 or 3 miles a day, did gardening, play golf, swim or are in a gym were generally in better physical health in their 70's and 80's.

Then genetics and luck can play their part as well.

Mother still mentally sharp at 90 . Sees off telephone scammers 😂 Mobility started to decline around 80