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Original poster

Haircut policy

54 replies

reblev92 · 31/08/2023 22:51

I've got 2 girls, so I've never had this issue but I can't actually believe it. My son is 4 and has attended a nursery for 3 hours a day, ever since having his haircut he's had the same style (he's autistic so likes everything the same) he gets a tram line across the top of the fade. Looks unbelievablely smart and bloody handsome 😫 anyway i got pulled last term and i genuinely thought she was joking so i laughed n went to walk away then realised she wasn't joking, anyways the next time he went for his cut (he has the same barber every time) I had totally forgot to mention the no tram lines and the next day my son attended nursery as normal but comes out with a brown envelope, I get home and open it and it's a copy of the uniform policy with the haircut rules hilighted. Then the part about excluding him hilighted as well, they're lucky I didn't see it while they were here. My son has come a long way in the last year and his haircut hasn't affected anything he does I just don't think they should be giving the rap to you. I just can't believe that people think they have the authority to tell you how to raise your own kids it infuriates me and makes me want to do it all the more.also my son has an EHCP so surely they can't exclude

OP posts:
DivingForLove · 31/08/2023 22:52

Excluding him from nursery?!? 😳

Summerbubbles · 31/08/2023 22:57

Schools often have these (imo ridiculous) rules, I've never known a nursery have them. Does it say anything in the contract you signed?

Original poster
reblev92 · 31/08/2023 23:01

It wouldn't matter now because he's going into reception, but how can they tell us how to have our kids hair I've known nothing like it. And yes. Excluded from nursery. The poor baby doesn't even talk, causes not one bit of bother to anyone honestly they put their focus into the wrong things my daughter is an a* student and got put into isolation for 3 days for a nose piercing, she's 13 she wanted it done for ages and it was the tiniest stud ever, doesn't affect anyone I can't understand

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Theunamedcat · 31/08/2023 23:01

I would be looking to move setting my son used to have all his hair shaved off because his hair was so light it looked like he was bald (it was grade 4) nursery said it was very practical and that was that

mondaytosunday · 31/08/2023 23:03

My son was sent home from primary twice for his haircut. Girls were not allowed unnatural colours either, and had to have it tied back when in junior school all the time. I don't know about nursery - but if you signed a contract it probably has something about it in there. If it's their rules you comply, no matter what your personal feelings are about it.

Original poster
reblev92 · 31/08/2023 23:04

I can't really just move him like that though because he's under the special educational needs and with an EHCP that would look terrible on me pulling him out of school when he's getting the help I fought so hard to get him😫 and the way he is to start again at a different school would frighten him to death, I totally get the uniform policy, but haircuts is going too far and I think the head teachers receding hairline is offensive but what can I do about that 😝😝

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NorwayLass · 31/08/2023 23:06

A ridiculous rule for a 4 year old

Fizbosshoes · 31/08/2023 23:12

My DC secondary school has haircut rules which I don't especially agree with but I've never heard of a nursery or primary enforcing them, it's ridiculous!

Original poster
reblev92 · 31/08/2023 23:13

Absolutely ridiculous rule full stop in my eyes. I just felt so sorry for him cos he senses energy and 100% understands what people say and he listens to everything, he would have thought he done something wrong which he hates cos he's such a good boy, I just wanted to take him home it's no wonder kids grow up with body image issues. 😢

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Original poster
reblev92 · 31/08/2023 23:17

And now I have to go into the barbers and say he can't have his dinosaur scratch on his head he's going to be so sad 😫 the head teacher referred to it as tram lines I said it's actually Keegan's dinosaur scratch. I'm dreading it hate him being confused cos he can't ask so he will just dwell on his own 😫 I wouldn't care but it's been his haircut for 2 years and he always points it out in the mirror and the smile on his face imagining a real dinosaur scratching him 🥺🥺 eeee I cannot

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Original poster
reblev92 · 31/08/2023 23:18

I'm probably looking way too far into it but with a child who hates change and can't communicate what else am I to do lol

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beeonmybonnett · 31/08/2023 23:24

Shocking. Can you take this further ? They are being OTT. Not quite sure how a child’s haircut impacts on theirs or anyone else’s education!

HarrietSchulenberg · 31/08/2023 23:27

Get used to it, you have another 12 years of school rules that you may or may not agree with.

Original poster
reblev92 · 31/08/2023 23:31

They know Keegan likes everything the same and does the same thing day in day out, I got so angry last time that I never got a chance to explain that Keegan enjoyed the haircut and it set of his imagination, and that it's been his for 2 years I can't just stop it I need to explain to him over and over, and convince him that the new haircut without the dinosaur scratch is a new big boy haircut, but it will take weeks to convince him (if I even can) and he started picking at his attendance when he was recovering from an operation as well, they don't care about the kids they need to keep their numbers high to look good and the school image where they all look the same not a hair out of place it disgusts me. Keegan is not and never will be the same as the other kids at that school and all they're doing is teaching him that he has got to be. Well I say otherwise. Was never like this in my day the world has gone mad xxx

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Boomboom22 · 31/08/2023 23:34

It's a standard school rule pretty much everywhere, so best to stop it now.

Original poster
reblev92 · 31/08/2023 23:34

Harriet? Bit harsh. Im explaining the fact he's my child and they're dictating his hairstyle it's ridiculous and you can't disagree 🤣 anyways rules were meant to be broken and they've met their match with this mama 😝💪🏽

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Original poster
reblev92 · 31/08/2023 23:37

Boom boom? Know what I think. Parents should take a stand together, instead of rolling over and accepting everything the school says, I will follow uniform policy and make sure my son always tries his best at everything, but the way he likes his hair? Na. Step too far in my eyes. They're getting too comfortable because we're letting them. Well I'm not anymore

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AutumnMistletoe · 31/08/2023 23:37

I'm a teaching assistant and I know that if a child has an EHCP the setting needs to have very good reason for exclusion.
Yes they could argue that you're not following the uniform policy but he's a child.. in nursery.. not in school.
There are children where I work who have adaptations to their uniform due to sensory issues. Educational settings have to follow the EHCP of the child if they have one. Having his hair cut the same way is comfortable to him and this is something they need to take into consideration. They should be working with you not against you.
I feel your son's nursery is in the wrong here.

Original poster
reblev92 · 31/08/2023 23:40

THANK YOU!!! they know change is extremely distressing for him, it's in his reports, and yes it's only a haircut but it's a haircut he recognises and knows, it will take time to help him understand a new haircut, and the fact he was at nursery 3 hours a day they have no right to have a say. It infuriated me

OP posts:
ConnieTucker · 31/08/2023 23:41

You let a 13 year old get her nose pierced?

Original poster
reblev92 · 31/08/2023 23:43

@ConnieTucker yes I did, because that's how old you had to be, and it was her choice, that's off subject anyway so I don't know what page you're on. It's not about my daughter. She's just fine, thank you.

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AutumnMistletoe · 31/08/2023 23:47

If the staff have even ready his EHCP they should know he doesn't like change. It's unfair on him to have to be upset over something so minor which is huge to him if that makes sense.
My advice would be to keep letting him have his hair done how he likes. If the staff complain then you explain how it states in his EHCP that struggles with change, his hair being one of them.
Many children with autism have to follow a particular routine otherwise it can cause a lot of distress.
Imagine you sit down and really looking forward to having your favourite meal, then someone tells you you're not allowed it.. you'd be upset. That upset will be 1000% bigger for your DS.
If they decide to exclude him then appeal it through the local authority! Chances of him being reinstated will be high due to the EHCP.
Hopefully reception will work better for him. Feel free to get a rude word shaved in the back on his last day of nursery Grin

Original poster
reblev92 · 31/08/2023 23:47

You know I came on here for help and advice all I've had since joining us the odd mother throw in a sly dig at every given opportunity it makes me sick we're all trying our best learning from each other and helping guide best we can and you get that one spiteful mother who can't wait to make another mother feel inadequate and like she done a bad thing. It's crazy. You never know what a person is battling at home. Be kind it's not hard 😫

OP posts:
ConnieTucker · 31/08/2023 23:47

reblev92 · 31/08/2023 23:43

@ConnieTucker yes I did, because that's how old you had to be, and it was her choice, that's off subject anyway so I don't know what page you're on. It's not about my daughter. She's just fine, thank you.

you mentioned it. On this post. You said you let her get it done and she was in isolation at school as they ae not allowed.

it is more that it gives an overall impression of your parenting. It isnt about your son not coping with change, it is about your attitude to rules.

iamwhatiam23 · 31/08/2023 23:51

@ConnieTucker and so what if it is the op's attitude towards pointless, petty rules? Schools should be educating children in reading, writing etc and leaving the other stuff to parents! Maybe if schools concentrated on what they are supposed to be doing instead of minor things like this then there wouldn't be so many children leaving school virtually illiterate!